Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

I joined this academic forum to discuss more professional issues (sorry - I love you guys, but needed some help with a project I'm doing). These people are mostly professors and writers. They have 500 page threads arguing about grammar - usually the Latin plural breakdown of some bizarre word. I actually enjoy those, but they are snarky beyond snark, and they think they are the most intelligent people on the planet.

I posted what happened last week, but made some nice connections with some other people. I saw there was a board called "Balancing work and personal life." I grapple with this everyday. So I posted, asking how parents of young children do anything extra to further their careers, briefly explaining that my husband works late, my 19 mt old doesn't go to sleep until 8:30, and I'm drained at the end of the day.

Some woman asked me why my son goes to sleep that late, why my husband doesn't come home earlier and help more, and why I don't hire a housekeeper to help keep the house clean.

Are you kidding me?

And then when I answered back, in true Liza fashion (just say the word and I'll share) it became a whole b*tch fest. Some were defending me - the guys were the least judgemental, and then I was accused of being a troll.

I swear - I did nothing to invite any of that!! I felt like Kimmie.

I'm sticking with you guys!

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by lipglossjunky73

I'm sticking with you guys!

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

I think it's just YOU Liza...

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

i, for one, would LOVE to hear your reply - your previous one was so well worded!

who ARE these people, and why are they on that forum if they already know how to balance their work and personal lives?

did you ask her to pay for your housekeeper?

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

That's what you get for cheating on LIF. Let this be a lesson to us all

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by headoverheels

i, for one, would LOVE to hear your reply - your previous one was so well worded!

who ARE these people, and why are they on that forum if they already know how to balance their work and personal lives?

did you ask her to pay for your housekeeper?

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

EXCELLENT Liza!

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Fantastic response...the nerve of her

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

OK, as an academic who actually discusses grammar at lunch with other faculty , I must say I'm amused....

but we're not caddy like that

I also once was 'unfaithful' to LIF with a long island real estate forum... and holy cr@p they were grumpy @-holes on that board. they all HATED living on LI, hated all LI'ers, and were nasty. I b!tched at them and left the forum after less than 10 posts

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

I don't know why you bother. That's a forum I would have stayed away...far far away.

Is 8:30pm too late to put kids to bed? Are you kidding? At his age, they don't sleep 20 hours per day. DS goes to be between 8:00pm-9pm (lastest) and wakes up around 7am. I feel lucky!

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by smdl

I don't know why you bother. That's a forum I would have stayed away...far far away.

Is 8:30pm too late to put kids to bed? Are you kidding? At his age, they don't sleep 20 hours per day. DS goes to be between 8:00pm-9pm (lastest) and wakes up around 7am. I feel lucky!

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

OMG liza that was truly wonderful

your use of snark was expert level at least!!!

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Perfect response Liza

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Perfect response Liza. That actually just made me laugh out loud and I needed it after the day that I had.

What would they say if I told them that Taylor goes to bed at 9:00??

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Your response on the chronicle forums was very sarcastic, so maybe you lost some sympathy there. If you post for advice, expect you will not always get what you are looking for.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by headoverheels

i, for one, would LOVE to hear your reply - your previous one was so well worded!

who ARE these people, and why are they on that forum if they already know how to balance their work and personal lives?

did you ask her to pay for your housekeeper?

I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Message edited 11/4/2008 11:17:55 PM.

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

I put Gilly to be at 9
AND...I am the merry maid...LOL
Liza, you did this before and you can do it again. You work well under pressure. Use your lunch breaks to write. Bring your laptop to work. Can your SD's help when they are around?

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

great response, troll!!!!!!!!

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by Tilde

great response, troll!!!!!!!!

Re: Ugh - another forum I joined is ridiculous

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by headoverheels

i, for one, would LOVE to hear your reply - your previous one was so well worded!

who ARE these people, and why are they on that forum if they already know how to balance their work and personal lives?

did you ask her to pay for your housekeeper?

I SURE did!

Here is the OP:

I work full time. Although I am not a single mom, my husband tends to leave early and come home later, although he is now making a concerted effort to come home when our son is still awake - he will be 19 months old tomorrow.

I work long hours, and my son does not go to bed until 8:30. Although he naps at daycare, he does not nap on the weekends with us (we are always on the go, no real consistent schedule)

I am trying, on top of everything else, to write a book. But at the end of the day, I am drained. Weekends are busy for other reasons. I hardly have any time or energy to clean. I run several times a week, which I must do for my own sanity!!!

How does one find time to do anything extra to further one's career? It is bad enough I bring home my regular work, and rarely have time to do it.

Suggestions????

This is what someone posted:

Why is a 19 month old up so late? Getting child on a regular schedule (weekends included) is needed, and making bedtime earlier will help you get in time to write.
As for your house, why not hire Merry Maids to come and clean while everyone is away?

IMO, your husband should be doing more to help with child and house care. You both will have to give some on work hours.

And..... My reply:

Terrific - your hired!!!! Start with the dishes, please, and then move on to the grout in the bathroom. Ick. Then, after that, tie my toddler into his bed (the child has had sleeping issues since being a newborn - but hey, if you have a suggestion that experts have not been able to provide, I'm game!)

I'll give you my husbands' cell phone numbers so that you may track him down. I am so tired of his selfish insistence on helping us pay the bills around here as well as child support, ontop of being the guy who does most (if not all) the cooking. The nerve of him.

Oh, by the way - are you available for free? We are going through a bit of a financial crunch right now... If you want, I can provide you the cute little "Merry Maid" skirt!

Now that we got all of that out of the way - any suggestions on trying to find time within the reality that is my life?