The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

about my own mom And it reminded me of some of the really wacky things my mother has said to me in the past (and I still think she's a FANTASTIC mom, btw), and I had to share this because it's hysterical.

So, when I was about 15 or 16, my mom was teaching classes at some local college, I forget where. Well, I really love the color purple, so I had gone out and bought myself a purple comforter for my room. So, one day, my mom sat me down on my bed, all serious, and said to me, "Honey, I noticed you bought a new comforter, and that purple seems to be your favorite color. Well, I've been thinking, and I want to know if you're a lesbian." I was like, "*****, MOM!" And she continued (I swear I can remember it like it was yesterday), "Well, at my school, the gay and lesbian group uses purple as their group color, so clearly I'm wondering if your fascination with purple means that deep down you're a lesbian. You can tell me, it's ok, I'll support you."
I remember distinctly wanting to tell her that if I was a lesbian, my boyfriend I was having sex with would be disappointed, but I chose instead to tell my sister the story and we incessantly made fun of my mother for YEARS

You can't make this shyt up. We still tease her to this day

Share some of the wacky things your mom has done or said to you. I'm sure I could add even more

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

OMG that is too funny.

This doesn't have to do with me really, but my Grandmother and Great Aunt "diagnosed" my Great Uncle posthumously with ADHD.

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Your mom would have a field day with me....my whole house is purple!!!!

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

I could write a book about wacky things and my mother, but they aren't really funny ones so I'll refrain

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

My mom thought I was a lesbian too!!!
Actually, my entire family did for a few years!

I still have no idea why...I think it had to do with the fact that I thought differently than they all did.

I still laugh about it with my husband!

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

heres three off the top of my head


my dd needed cream, her labia was closed up...my mom thought it was toothpaste and brushed her teeth with it.

my mom got tipsy wrapping xmas gifts and gave me my old aunts ugly sweater...

this kid I lovvvvvvvvvvvved in high school-I was invited to his b-day party--my mom picked out some iron on shirt that had knobs where your titties are soppose to go being it was a girl shirt and everyone laughed at me...
yup...didn't get that guy.


Lord..i am sure theres more.
now...what we have done to her I have million of stories.

Message edited 10/2/2008 11:16:39 PM.

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

I think my mom is an amazing, AMAZING mom. She adores her children but she was a screamer for a long time - and it didn't matter. Even though she lost her patience with us, she was the most caring & wonderful person.

The one that sticks out in my mind --- My dad traveled a lot when we were younger & my mom treated herself by not cooking & taking us out to dinner when he was away.

She tried different restaurants all over Huntington, Northport, etc. We would bicker & fight all of the time. Restaurants were no exception. After misbehaving, the three of us were dragged out of the a restaurant. In the car ride home, she told us we acted horribly & were no longer allowed in restaurants.

For the ride home, we had to repeat what we would need to say when a boy asked us out. She went through the list of restaurants starting at Linc's Log Cabin, Hamburger Choo Choo, Friendly's...all the way down to Burger King & McDonald's. To each place, we had to decline the invitation & repeat the phrase "No, thank you. I can't go to a restaurant with you. I eat like an animal."

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

I love my mom. I am so proud of her.
She is a dedicated mom who sacrificed a lot of us. I only understood later how much she did and was able to appreciate her in her entirely.

She went through a lot with my dad.

She left him after years of humiliation and abuse. She was 50, no job or education. She made it through.

We always have been close.

I miss her so much that she is so far away from me.



After I got divorced from 1st marriage, I decided to go back to school. She told me that it would postponne me having kids. I was not even married with DH or met him at the time. I was just dating ex boyfriend.

Message edited 10/2/2008 11:42:44 PM.

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Let me preface this by saying, my mom is an awesome person. Honestly, she is my best friend, we talk on the phone at least once a day, I see her 2x a week, etc. But she is wacky, and has a lot of phobias and anxiety issues. I'm an only child simply because there was no way she could have handled more than one kid. Even now, I never find myself asking her for parenting advice.... she never has any to offer!!!

Here's some of my favorite quotes and events:

- On the rare event I ask her how she handled something when I was my DS's age, she says "Oh, I don't remember, I'm still trying to block those years out"

- Re: the baby/toddler years, she says "I really didn't enjoy you till you were 3"

- When I was in college, I tried to have a woman to woman conversation about sex with her. She said "Just have a glass of wine and try to get through it."

- When I was a little girl and she walked me to kindergarten (we lived in Queens), she was phobic about me getting wet in rain or snow. So she would wrap my legs in Saran Wrap, walk me to school, then unwrap me when I got there.

There are so many more, I really would be here an hour if I typed them all!

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

My family owned a restaurant while I was growing up. When I was around 13/14 I would go to work with my mom on Saturday nights to make salads and serve the desserts or to bus tables. On our way to work we would stop at Dairy Barn to pick up some last minutes supplies. Before I would get there I would tell my mother what I wanted...Twinkies, yodells, etc...I guess I was embarrassed to say this in front of the cute boy who worked there. So as we drove up I would make sure my mother knew exactly what I wanted so I wouldnt look stupid in front of that boy. So my mom would give the kid the order " I'll have 2 half gallons of milk, a loaf of white bread, a quart of half&half,....oh and what did you want Heather TWINKIES?" I was mortified...

When I was in 9th grade I had a very bad habit of missing the bus to go to school. My mom would have to drive me. Well I guess it was very uncool to be dropped off by your mom at school so I'd make this big deal out of where she would drop me off. Each and every time she'd wait til I got about 10 feet away from the car and she'd beep and wave....I thought I would die.

There are a ton more...

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Posted by computergirl

Let me preface this by saying, my mom is an awesome person. Honestly, she is my best friend, we talk on the phone at least once a day, I see her 2x a week, etc. But she is wacky, and has a lot of phobias and anxiety issues. I'm an only child simply because there was no way she could have handled more than one kid. Even now, I never find myself asking her for parenting advice.... she never has any to offer!!!

Here's some of my favorite quotes and events:

- On the rare event I ask her how she handled something when I was my DS's age, she says "Oh, I don't remember, I'm still trying to block those years out"

- Re: the baby/toddler years, she says "I really didn't enjoy you till you were 3"

- When I was in college, I tried to have a woman to woman conversation about sex with her. She said "Just have a glass of wine and try to get through it."

- When I was a little girl and she walked me to kindergarten (we lived in Queens), she was phobic about me getting wet in rain or snow. So she would wrap my legs in Saran Wrap, walk me to school, then unwrap me when I got there.

There are so many more, I really would be here an hour if I typed them all!

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

I only remember my mom leaving me places as a kid, lol. To this day I don't recall her giving me any advice. I'll have to think about this one today and see what I come up with.

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Posted by PrincessP

OMG...You just brought back a memory for me. I "think" that might have been a common thing with the saran wrap. me and my neighbor would go to k and 1st together and I totally remember galoshes with saran wrap. BUT I could have sworn it was on the inside on your foot and the galoshes were on the outside or was it vice versa...I dont remember I just know it happened. Me and mom will be having a talk

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

When I was maybe twelve or thirteen, my friend and eye were in my room gluing some piece of homework that I am sure was late and my mother came busting down my door, grabbed the glue out of my hand and marched out. MY friend was like, "wow she is so cool, she wants us to take a break." Nope my mother thought we were sniffing it. I got an F on that project, but it was all worth it cause I could blame my mom.


I think my mother was a cream of the crop mom by the way. As a grandma, se can drive me nuts sometimes, but she is still pretty fantastic.

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

I love this thread!

Barb-yours has me still laughing.

The saran wrap? My Mom always did that!! I hated it! But it makes sense.

I always liked to go food shopping with my mother because it was at night and I didn't want to do my homework. Plus, I got to spend time with her because she worked during the day. She knew how embarrassed I was when she hummed to the supermarket music so I would quietly ask her if she would please stop. She would always start hysterically laughing and start belting out a line from the song. It was mortifying. I would walk away and pretend I didn't know her and it would make her laugh even harder.

I love my Mom, she is an awesome Mom.

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Posted by Mrs. Patticakes

I love this thread!

Barb-yours has me still laughing.

The saran wrap? My Mom always did that!! I hated it! But it makes sense.

I always liked to go food shopping with my mother because it was at night and I didn't want to do my homework. Plus, I got to spend time with her because she worked during the day. She knew how embarrassed I was when she hummed to the supermarket music so I would quietly ask her if she would please stop. She would always start hysterically laughing and start belting out a line from the song. It was mortifying. I would walk away and pretend I didn't know her and it would make her laugh even harder.

I love my Mom, she is an awesome Mom.

Message edited 10/3/2008 8:07:55 PM.

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

lol, i love all the disclaimers

My mom was pretty much certain that everything would give me cancer... till this day i still have a fear of skittles, crystal light, certain apple juices, boxed cake mixes....

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

My story is kind of related to your story. My mom bought a "rainbow" sticker for the back window of her car. She has been single since my dad passed in 1982 so my brothers and I have wondered for years if she was a lesbian. When we saw the rainbow, we were sure that she was coming out. I asked her about it and she said she bought it because she thought rainbow's were pretty!

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Posted by ArmyOfBabies

Posted by nrthshgrl

After misbehaving, the three of us were dragged out of the a restaurant. In the car ride home, she told us we acted horribly & were no longer allowed in restaurants.

For the ride home, we had to repeat what we would need to say when a boy asked us out. She went through the list of restaurants starting at Linc's Log Cabin, Hamburger Choo Choo, Friendly's...all the way down to Burger King & McDonald's. To each place, we had to decline the invitation & repeat the phrase "No, thank you. I can't go to a restaurant with you. I eat like an animal."

I almost peed myself!

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

Posted by ArmyOfBabies

Posted by nrthshgrl

After misbehaving, the three of us were dragged out of the a restaurant. In the car ride home, she told us we acted horribly & were no longer allowed in restaurants.

For the ride home, we had to repeat what we would need to say when a boy asked us out. She went through the list of restaurants starting at Linc's Log Cabin, Hamburger Choo Choo, Friendly's...all the way down to Burger King & McDonald's. To each place, we had to decline the invitation & repeat the phrase "No, thank you. I can't go to a restaurant with you. I eat like an animal."

I almost peed myself!

Message edited 10/3/2008 9:35:38 PM.

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...

I'm so glad all of you shared your stories, they made me laugh so hard! My mother was also always famous for thinking people we were friends with were one of two things: gay or retarded. EVERY boy I was friends with, she'd say, "Hmm, Tommy seems a little, well, retarded honey. Is he slow?" OR, "I always knew Mike was gay. He wore capris." OR to this day, she thinks EVERYONE is on drugs. EVERYONE. When Bobby Flay comes on the food network, she ALWAYS says, "I just don't like him, he's DEFINITELY doing cocaine!"

Another thing my mother was famous for when we were younger was keeping catnip for the cats in ziploc baggies, and one time, one of my friends had a bag of weed in his pocket that must have fallen out on the couch, and my mom was trying to give it to the cats, but they didn't want it and she kept saying, "Hmmm, I think there's something wrong with this catnip " Until I told her it was weed

Re: The "Rate yourself as a mother" thread got me thinking...