Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I don't have time right now to read the whole thread but I think in general there are too many darn opinions from people on both sides of the issue about something that I think is a personal and private decision that should not be discussed!

I EBF until about 6.5 mos and then started weaning - at 9mos ds is still nursing 1X per day and let me tell you...I hear slack for STILL BF. From day 1 my IL's have always been like "when is he going to get a bottle?" "My kids were all on formula and they are fine" then when we hit 5 mos my FIL said to me "only one more month to go!" and i was like WHAT? He was counting down until I was done BF (i guess they resented me taking the baby away to nurse him?) Now I get "once a baby has teeth he really shouldn't be nursing anymore" or..."don't you think he is too big for that?" or "my neighbor is still BF her DC at 16mo...you are not going to do that are you? I think that is DISGUSTING!" or "I hate how BF babies can only be consoled by their mothers...no offense." THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.

So, its on both sides I assure you

Message edited 5/30/2008 11:56:18 AM.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I bottle feed Rylan and I have NEVER once felt like any less of a mom or have any regrets for making that decision. I've seen the signs...heard the pressure and it doesn't faze me in the least. It just wasn't for me and i'm 200% happy and confident in my decision!!!!!!!!

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I totally, totally agree that you can't win.

I BF my DS for 6 months. He was tongue-tied at birth, so he was never able to latch properly, so I pumped exclusively for 6 months, and then I gradually weaned him to formula. Well, I swear no matter what stage I was in (BF vs formula), I could not seem to avoid criticism.

- While BFing, I definitely got the sort of "icked out" response from people who aren't really comfortable with it. My own mom asked me if my DH was "disgusted" by seeing me do it!

- I was at a dr's appointment for myself, and while chatting about my DS he asked if I was BFing. When I said I was exclusively pumping he criticized me for denying DS the "bonding" experience of actually nursing at the breast. I was pumping 6 times a day and WAKING MYSELF UP AT NIGHT to do it, and this moron tells me I'm denying my son?

- Then of course after 6 months of that torture (sorry if that is offensive, but pumping s.u.x) when I weaned I got all the judgmental little "oh... you STOPPED?" comments

I will never judge a fellow mom her feeding choices after all that crap I took.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I feel like everyone on the planet knows I had a breast reduction because I say it to explain why I couldn't bf. I always felt I needed to explain based on looks or questions when I simply answered no to the question "are you breast feeding?"

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Bottom line: You're dammed if you do and you're dammed if you don't. Apparently being a mom appears to be a platform for critisicm. I hope this thread can bring awareness that being a new mom is tough enough we need to support each other instead of knocking each other down.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I still want to know why people say the babies are heavier if they eat bM

what is the case for that?

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Not to derail but I agree w/ the previous post. DS had all BM for 6 months, and was actually in the 25th % for weight. I know one single case is purely anecdotal and neither proves nor disproves a theory... I just wanted to point out that there are exceptions to every rule. I did notice a steady increase in his weight and his percentile as I introduced solid food though.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Posted by ARIELSMOM


I tried with DS and wasnt producing enough, cracked, bleeding, doubled over crying in pain- then finally gave up after 2 weeks.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Wow, I can't believe that your boys are two and people are still asking you and talking to you about how you fed them!

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Not to beat a dead horse on this topic (probably too late), I BF, but almost did not b/c I was so frustrated at the beginning. I had a c-section, so was in the hospital for a little longer than natural delivery and I think if I didn't have the c-section I would not have BF. Reason being that those extra days I had help from the nurses and lactation coach. I did feel pressure to BF - I still don't know if it was outside pressure or pressure I was personally putting on myself. I BF, but to be honest as to why I did, I heard that you lose weight quicker and in my personal experience I did! Probably selfish reason, but why not?!?! I lost almost all my baby weight by week 4 without exercising! My BF, who has always been skinny, had her DD 4 weeks after me, and uses formula and still has a ton of weight to lose. I really wanted to lose the weight so I was going to keep trying to BF if it killed me! Also, I am diabetic and it helps with my blood sugars.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

as a mother who BF I would never judge another mother. I can't imagine a mother not doing what they felt is best for their child! In the end it's their child, so why judge.

BF is NOT easy at all! The first days & weeks were the hardest & most PAINFUL! But now, not so bad.....but I am not sure how long I can continue when I work.

So between the pain and trouble I can understand why many don't. It's definitely a person choice.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Wow 4 pages of replies...who'd have thunk it? I am laughing bc this will always be a highly charged subject. Always! I didn't read all the replies so I don't know if this was covered but as someone who FF all 3 kids, I took offense to the recent article that basically stated that BF kids are smarter, not bc of what they are getting out of the BM but more bc the BF mothers are generally more educated, more nuturing, more devoted to their kids (paraphrasing but that was the gist). I just cannot see how it can be so easily concluded that this is true. And...it's OK to just not want to BF. You don't need to have tried, to have wanted to but not been able to produce, etc. You can just not want to. Isn't there enough Mommy guilt out there (self induced and otherwise) to go around? Do we really need more? I have 3 healthy kids and the only one who has been tested for IQ so far tested in the highly gifted category, so I don't sweat it. 5 1/2 years ago I felt like a lowlife for FF but I gave up that guilt a long time ago. I am pro BF and pro FF but I am not pro Mommyguilt.

ETA: On the BF front, I was in Friendly's with my son yesterday and he mentioned that there was a little baby on the other side of the glass partition from us. I looked over and it was a small baby with the Mother and (Im guessing) the Father. Then the woman and baby were gone for a very long time. I surmised that she was either in the car or in the bathroom BF the baby. Maybe she wasn't comfortable doing it there but if she went to the car or bathroom bc she felt like it was going to make other people uncomfortable, it's a crying shame. Most women don't whip it out and show everyone their breast while BF in public. Yes, there are the occasional few who do, to everyone's shock, but 99.5% don't do that. Maybe other people should learn not to stare, KWIM?

Message edited 5/30/2008 3:17:59 PM.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I have read the research and the articles and I still made a decision NOT to BF my child. Why? It wasn't for me...and that is the answer I give whenever I get questioned (and the questions do get asked).

I was not breastfed, and I graduated 9th in a class of 200+ kids in high school and I had a cumulative GPA in college of 3.8, so I don't think that my brain power was inhibited at all by having been formula fed. And my DD? She's almost walking at 9 1/2 months, and is a very smart child...so I don't think she's missing anything either...

The issue is a very personal one, and we all make the decisions we feel are best for our DC's...I don't think anyone Breastfeeding or Formula feeding has a right to criticize the choice of the other...JMO

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

My dad has a great expression ... "Opinions are like a$$holes ... everyone has one".

That said, I felt the pressure to BF too and it was really hard to finally accept fact that it wasn't working and stop ...

I still resent my daughter's ped for suggesting a lactation consultant to me after I confided in him that I had cracked and bleeding nipples, and after I looked like crap for months and when I clearly had the signs of the beginnings of PPD and was stressed about returning to work. He should have just said, "It's okay honey. Whatever you do, it's okay." He did not, opting instead to say things such as "well I guess it's okay. BF is better, but I guess formula is okay" when I said I was cutting the BM and switching to FM. For the longest time, I thought about switching docs because he was such a jerk about it. But in time, I learned to remember my dad's statement and realize that he is still a great doc. He was just horribly insensitive about this one issue.

I'm sure there are moms on the other side of the issue (i.e. those who chose to BF) that get similar slack ...

The pressure, the judgments the lack of acceptance ... it has to stop. It is as if we are living in the 1950's. Have we not learned anything?

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

moms get flamed either way and by everyone with a mouth!

at my ds's 1 year well visit the dr. made me feel like a freak for still bfing and wanted to make sure i wasn't doing it too much ( only 2x a day at that point.)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)