I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Cailen loves animals. He goes insane when he sees dogs and cats. There is no way we are capable of getting a dog, but a kitten might be a possibility. I say kitten because I find most older cats don't like babies/toddlers, and want to have that bond develop between Cailen and a kitty....

We had to put my Stormy down when Cailen was 3 mts old. He was old and very sick, and I was devastated, but - heres where I'm torn....

I was relieved a little too. Please don't flame me, but Stormy was a bad cat at times and would pee on my things - I always had to keep Cailen's things out of reach because of it, and he once peed on his car seat when he was still an infant. He tore up everything, and howled at night. And the work that went into another living thing really wore me out. But, Cailen was an infant then, and I'm thinking he may be ready, and I may be ready.

We wouldn't do it until the fall. But we go away for a week during Xmas, and a week during the summer. I would have to find someone all over again to help take care of my new kitty...


Help me balance out the pros and cons. I want Cailen to continue to love animals and have a special bond with a companion animal. Should I put my doubts aside and start to prepare for a cat in the fall? Or do you think I'm already waffling too much to even be ready?

I just want to say right off the bat, I would never do this if it weren't for keeps. I won't be giving away any animal I take in if I decide to do this, so I am putting a lot of thought into this....

Help me!!!

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Honestly, I would not get a pet at this point.

I did not get a dog until I was 11. We had a guinea pig when I was 7 but my mom really took care of it.

If I did not have my dogs prior to DS, I would not get them now. Too much work with a baby/toddler. I would wait for DS to be at least 3 or 4. My dogs are 2 and are "trained". I couldl not handle DS with a puppy or worry about safety when adopting an older pet.

You have to pick your battles.

I think "visiting" other people's pet is the best of both Worlds at this point.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

If I were in your shoes, the cons would bear more weight....Cailen's age, kitten's safety, litterbox, etc.

My DD is 17 months old and she's smitten with our dog. She hugs and pets her, sometimes nicely, sometimes not so nicely. Our dog is larger and she can get away from DD easily though if DD gets rough. A kitten might not be able to get out of the grasp of a toddler.

My cousin's DD actually killed their 6 month old kitten when she was about 2 years old. She fell back on the sleeping kitty and squashed her. Poor thing...

I would wait until he's older. For now, I'd let Cailen get his fill when he visits friends with animals.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Thanks ladies - I think I needed to hear that. I guess its never too late to develop a bond with an animal, and it may be nice when he's a bit older and he can take some responsibility as well in taking care of it...

And Sophie - PIMP about the guinea pig when will parents lear that its never a replacement for a real pet and they always just get ignored in their cages!!!!

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

I would wait until he's older. He'll most likely continue to love animals because he'll see them other places, in his toys, on tv, etc.
I don't think that at this age, he'll really be able appreciate his own pet...and it's a ton of work for you.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

we got abby when jack was 4 months old - and it was so hard to train a puppy at the same time as caring for an infant.

i am sooooooo happy we did get Abby when we got her though- and didn't wait any longer. she is obsessed with jack - and he loves her too.

i've never had a cat though so i have no clue what taking care of them entails.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Honestly, if you know that YOU will be taking care of the cat, and training the cat and whatnot, then do it.

Having Christopher wouldn't stop me from getting a pet.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

I would wait also. The first thing that came to my mind after reading your post was Cailin eating the litter. Even if you keep the door closed to were ever you would keep it, it might happen that the door be open one day by accident.

Another thing to think about is that even if you get a kitty, it isn't guaranteed that the kitty be nice. I would hate to see that the kitty isn't friendly and he is trying to chase him/her.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

I am no help about cats, not a lover. I love dogs. We have a golden retriever, we raised him/puppy walker since he was a puppy. He was in the guide dog program. We failed because he has ADHD (that is pretty much what his final report said). DDs absolutely love him.

What about fish? We got that for DDs and they love it. No hair, once a month cleaning. Cailen can feed them everyday. We put the fish tank in their playroom, every morning they go to they fish tank, and say "hi, fishies".

JMO! good luck with your choice.

Message edited 5/26/2008 8:21:11 PM.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Posted by lipglossjunky73

What about fish? We got that for DDs and they love it. No hair, once a month cleaning. Cailen can feed them everyday. We put the fish tank in their playroom, every morning they go to they fish tank, and say "hi, fishies".

Actually, Cailen loves fish!!! He goes crazy over the fish at a Chinese rest, and when he watches Elmos's world, he gets more excited about the fish than Elmo!!!

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Honestly, I wouldn't do it now, I'd wait.

DH has a cat that was his ex-wife's. The cat has as many issues as she did You've been to my house... did you see a cat? Nooooooo.... Since moving here the cat lives (about 20 hours a day) in the beige sofa in the den. She comes out to be fed, given her Prozac (yes, don't get me started on that... too many jokes since she was the ex's cat ) and to throw up Of course, she only throws up when I'm changing two poopy diapers, DC's are fighting over a toy or some other crisis control The cat you get might be the same way.

We have a cat door on the basement door and her litter box is down there but the litter will become an issue in a few years when that becomes their playroom. DC's getting into the litter would completely skeeve me... ugh!!

She wants nothing to do with DC's and well, I have enough to clean up. It wasn't my choice, she came with the relationship, but if given the choice now, I'd say as a working mom you have enough on your plate. I wouldn't do it.

I want to get DC's a dog eventually because growing up I loved having a dog but honestly, I don't know how it would fit in and you know me, I can juggle a lot... I just can't imagine it right now.

If anything I'd stick to fish and let him visit other people's pets... all of the benefits none of the additional responsibility.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

I have to be honest and say my cats are HARDER work then my dog.

They use the litter box which Noah always wants to touch

They "play" and can scratch where as my dog was trained to know better.

Noah tries to kiss teh cats and they try to get away and well I am just waiting for a scratch to happen. It would be an accident but the dog is more careful ( she is small too though)

The cats hair is all over my house. I have to vacuum and lint brush the sofas every single day.

And I have to make sure they stay out of Noahs room.


My dog is so much easier ( but shes a small dog and I think that makes a difference too)

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

A couple of years ago I decided to go to the animal shelter and buy Nicholas a kitten. We named her Daisy. Daisy was cute, so little and so fun. But..Daisy liked to pee on MY things. Namely things that were red. My red rug, my red comforter, her red kitty bed, and nothing smells worse than cat pee. So needless to say, that lasted a week and I found Daisy a new home. To this day, Nicholas still talks about his week with Daisy. Everytime he sees a black and white cat he says it looks like Daisy. I told him when he moves out on his own, he can get a new Daisy. I feel really bad that he was hearbroken over the kitty and apparently still isn't over it

Honestly, if you are stressed out over working and taking care of DS all the time, adding a pet to the mix is going to make things even worse. Like someone else said..get a fish. Less maintenance, but just don't let him feed them hot dogs and chocolate milk like I did when I was little

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

I think you will know for sure when you are ready.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

I know it's tempting but I would wait. Sometimes for me it's so much harder taking care of the dog and the cat than taking care of DD and I'm not joking. My cat also has a tendency to get a little spiteful and pee where he's not supposed to. Not to mention kitty vomit I would definitely wait until Cailen is older.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

If you had said the cat would be for YOU - that you really wanted a pet and that Cailen loved animals and his being near to one would be a nice extra - i would say go for it.

But the fact is that you want a companion for Cailen - and since that is the case I would advise you to wait it out.

I wanted a dog SO BADLY that as soon as we bought our house I couldn't stop thinking about it! But I did not count on how hard it would be to have 2 kids, a new house, a dog and a full time job. Add in the fact that Rob felt like I strong armed him into getting an animal when he was not feeling financially secure enough to care for one - and VOILA - INSTANT DISASTER.

We worked through it and I am truly happy to have our dog (he is quite honestly the SWEETEST animal alive) - but it was really stressful and extremely difficult for a while there.

Good luck!

ETA: Noah had just turned 3 when we got Thunder. He had been wild for every animal we had ever seen - but once we got the dog he got bored of him very quickly. Robbie was 5 and he is still very close with the pup! The maturity level just wasn't there with Noah - he is only NOW starting to really get attached to Thunder.

Message edited 5/26/2008 11:25:01 PM.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

I think life is complicated enough for me without a pet. Between DH & I working, taking care of DD and the house and with the amount of traveling we like to do, a pet wouldn't work for us at this point in our lives-it would only add stress, and that we do not need.

Re: I'm torn - can you give me advice?

Personally, I would wait. I have a 2 year old cat and a 2 year old dog, plus DS who is 13 months. It's A LOT! Sometimes I just can't take having the cat and dog on top of the baby. I wish we had gotten them when DS was like 3 or so. While the cat is good with DS and lets him basically beat on him, the cat is constantly clawing at all his things. The cat wakes me up at all hours of the night to be fed or just because he's awake and being a maniac. I never get a full nights sleep even when DS sleeps through the night. If I try to lock the cat out of the bedroom, he just cries cries cries and scratches the dorr till I let him in. THen he chews things and licks plastic and I just can't sleep. It's really another stress I just don't need right now. If I could go back in time, I'd tell myself to wait--1) wait until the furniture was odler so I wouldn't have a heart attack at the number of scratches, 2) wait until DS was older and I had less to worry about.

ETA I saw someone else mentioned kitty vomit. Turns out, my cat has reflux. I wake to him puking about every other night. I'm sooooo sick of cleaning up vomit!!!! I hate finally getting to go bed, ready to collapse, only to find a nice pile of puke on the bed!

Message edited 5/27/2008 8:53:15 AM.