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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Am i the only thats torn about this?
Ok this will get moved but i dont know to where -- parenting? TTC? Relationship?
i want to have a baby sooooooooo bad i could cry. but the rational side of me says to wait until all of our ducks are in order. yet the female maternal instinct side of me says to just go for it!
those that are waiting like me -- do you ever just wanna go for it and say "we'll make it work"? or are you set on your plans to wait it out?
those with kids already -- did you wait? or did you just let nature take its course and work things out later?
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Posted 2/13/08 1:02 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
I will say this, if you wait until you are "100%" ready to have kids, you will never have them...no one IMHO, is ever 100% ready but you make it work
Good luck  
Message edited 2/13/2008 1:05:23 PM.
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:05 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
truth be told... I thought I might be pregnant this morning.. (I'm TOTALLY not ready for another one)
Just got AF a little while ago, and now I'm feeling a little 'let down'
The idea that's it's out of my hands was nice.
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:05 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by stephanief
I will say this, if you wait until you are "100%" ready to have kids, you will never have them...no one IMHO, is ever 100% ready but you make it work
Good luck
this is exactly why DH and i decided to TTC right after we got married. i am soooo happy we did. 
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:07 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by stephanief
I will say this, if you wait until you are "100%" ready to have kids, you will never have them...no one IMHO, is ever 100% ready but you make it work
Good luck
I don't have kids, but this is my philosophy!
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:08 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
i felt like that last year. Then the time finally came that we could TTC and we'd be fine, and i did a complete 180. For me, i wonder if i craved it more because i knew we couldn't? (i hate being told that i 'can't' do something). Or maybe i was ready then, but not now. I think when the time finally came that we could TTC though- i started thinking about it completely differently than i had before. Before, i just wanted a baby, now, i think about the reality of it- juggling work, schedules, lack of sleep, having this person live with me for the next 18 years (or 27 years if its anything like its father  ), not being able to just come and go as we did, vacations, etc.... I think that putting it in perspective made me want to wait longer, but i still remember how frustrated i felt last year when i didnt want to wait- its annoying, but it really does go by fast!!
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:08 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
I feel like you, but I'm really mood-swingy about it. One week I'll want to try and think it'll all fall into place somehow, the next week I want to wait because I know it's not a good time, then for a few days I'll decide a baby is the LAST thing I want right now and it would ruin my life to have a kid, then I think maybe it wouldn't be so bad and we could be ready...
Luckily, DH is much more level headed. We're waiting indefinitely at the moment.
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:10 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by JessInCA
I feel like you, but I'm really mood-swingy about it. One week I'll want to try and think it'll all fall into place somehow, the next week I want to wait because I know it's not a good time, then for a few days I'll decide a baby is the LAST thing I want right now and it would ruin my life to have a kid, then I think maybe it wouldn't be so bad and we could be ready...
Luckily, DH is much more level headed. We're waiting indefinitely at the moment.
This sounds like me, too!
I understand the whole "no one is ever 100%" thing... but i do think that there's also better times that might make it worth waiting a bit for. Money was not a concern of ours, but my schedule with school and work was- school was for a specific time period though, and after that we would be in a much better situation as far as work and schedules go- so for us, it was worth it to wait. Juggling school and work was hard enough, nevermind adding a newborn to the mixx.
and, honestly, i'm glad that DH and i have had these past 3 years of being married together- i wouldnt trade them for anything in the world. But, that was what worked for Us. 
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:15 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by stephanief
I will say this, if you wait until you are "100%" ready to have kids, you will never have them...no one IMHO, is ever 100% ready but you make it work
Good luck
ITA 100%
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:19 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by stephanief
I will say this, if you wait until you are "100%" ready to have kids, you will never have them...no one IMHO, is ever 100% ready but you make it work
Good luck
ITA with this. We couldn't TTC for a while due to some medical conditions on my part.
I got the clear. When it was actually time, I was excited, yet, still nervous of how it work out (financially). We are making it work. Take it one day at a time.
I was also going to say, no one is ever 100% ready.
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:27 PM |
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juanvi
Get Out!
Member since 10/06 4463 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
We let nature take it's course. Things always find a way of working themselves out
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:29 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by igottabeme
those with kids already -- did you wait? or did you just let nature take its course and work things out later?
When I got pregnant with Robbie, my DH and I were not married yet. We weren't even CONSIDERING marriage. We had only been officially dating for about 6 months (we'd known each other for years). DH was working at a lousy job with no future and horrible pay. I had a decent job - but with hours and a commute that were not desirable. I was still living at home with my parents and so was he!!!!!!!
I would say we weren't ready.
But we were going to have a baby. So we found an apartment and decided to see how it went.
Here's how it went. I quit my job 3 months after I got back from Maternity leave - and a week later Rob lost his! We had a new baby, a new apartment and we were both on unemployment.
We both started working these awful little jobs just to make ends meet. Then - unexpectedly - baby #2 was suddenly on his way! So we kicked it into high gear. Rob joined the electrician's union. I found a job that worked for me salarywise and it just started clicking.
Our youngest will be 5 in July. We have our own house with a big backyard in a nice neighborhood with a good school district. We make enough to feed and clothe everyone, make the mortgage and still have a little extra for the little things and saving for the big stuff.
It was a rough few years - a lot of tears, fighting, scrimping and worry - but we got through it.
And I wouldn't change a thing.
I also wouldn't ENCOURAGE anyone to get pregnant when they were completely unprepared..
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:33 PM |
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JMC1014
We got a puppy!!
Member since 5/07 1420 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by igottabeme
Ok this will get moved but i dont know to where -- parenting? TTC? Relationship?
i want to have a baby sooooooooo bad i could cry. but the rational side of me says to wait until all of our ducks are in order. yet the female maternal instinct side of me says to just go for it!
those that are waiting like me -- do you ever just wanna go for it and say "we'll make it work"? or are you set on your plans to wait it out?
those with kids already -- did you wait? or did you just let nature take its course and work things out later?
ITA with you! I could've written it word for word! Thank goodness that my DH is more level headed and we have decided to wait a few months until we finish a few things in the house first. I am open to "seeing what happens" but he is not at all right now!
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:34 PM |
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MrsPornStar
Partners in crime
Member since 10/05 14656 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
When the subject came up shortly after we were married, we both realized we weren't ready. Then Dh started to change and realized he wanted kids. I was still so scared and unsure. However, once I found out that it would be a struggle, everything changed. I realized that I'll never be fully ready or prepared. So we let nature take its course for a year. I now know that whenever it happens, I'll be scared to death but will welcome it.
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:37 PM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by stephanief
I will say this, if you wait until you are "100%" ready to have kids, you will never have them...no one IMHO, is ever 100% ready but you make it work
Good luck
So true! Just do it!!!! good luck!!
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:37 PM |
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ctrain1124
Our Gang!
Member since 8/07 3190 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
I feel the same way you do. I want to TTC sooooo bad. But we are waiting cause we know the time is not right yet.
But there are days where I just start thinking we should just go for it anyway. It's frustrating wanting something sooo badly but yet knowing you can't right now.
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:45 PM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
I agree with no one is ever 100% ready BUT it depends on the circumstances as to why you arent ready..KWIM?
If its a money issue, scheduling, etc. then I would say wait until it is a little more feasible for the both of you.
If it comes to issues like not having enough room in the house, timing of when the baby will be born, etc. I say go for it. No one can thoroughly plan out everything in life.
You have to remember too, some people dont just get pregnant that easily. It took us years..first I had to find out the problem, then go to the RE and then get pregnant. It took a while. I was on meds and had to wait for them to take effect. So that comes into play as well.
If you are both on the same page, then I would say go for it. But if one of you wavers, even a little bit, then I would wait. You both have to be on board at the same time or else I think after effects will take place at some point. Good luck!!
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:45 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by nycchic24
I agree with no one is ever 100% ready BUT it depends on the circumstances as to why you arent ready..KWIM?
If its a money issue, scheduling, etc. then I would say wait until it is a little more feasible for the both of you.
If it comes to issues like not having enough room in the house, timing of when the baby will be born, etc. I say go for it. No one can thoroughly plan out everything in life.
You have to remember too, some people dont just get pregnant that easily. It took us years..first I had to find out the problem, then go to the RE and then get pregnant. It took a while. I was on meds and had to wait for them to take effect. So that comes into play as well.
If you are both on the same page, then I would say go for it. But if one of you wavers, even a little bit, then I would wait. You both have to be on board at the same time or else I think after effects will take place at some point. Good luck!!
I completely agree.
Good luck with your decision.
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:54 PM |
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snowboardgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1033 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
We are pregnant now, and are so not ready its rediculous. We are renovating our entire house, we have very little furniture- no dining room furniture at all and our living room is empty.
We are going to make it work. I couln't be happier!
What if your situation gets worse in the years to come and your ducks are never in a row? Then you wasted time.
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| Posted 2/13/08 1:56 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
I say take Nike's approach, and JUST DO IT! If not, you'll always have a reason not to, and will never feel ready.
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| Posted 2/13/08 2:12 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by snowboardgirl
We are pregnant now, and are so not ready its rediculous. We are renovating our entire house, we have very little furniture- no dining room furniture at all and our living room is empty.
We are going to make it work. I couln't be happier!
What if your situation gets worse in the years to come and your ducks are never in a row? Then you wasted time.
My parents had no LR furniture until I was like 6! You do what you have to
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| Posted 2/13/08 6:07 PM |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
Posted by ctrain1124
I feel the same way you do. I want to TTC sooooo bad. But we are waiting cause we know the time is not right yet.
But there are days where I just start thinking we should just go for it anyway. It's frustrating wanting something sooo badly but yet knowing you can't right now.
I'm in the same boat here. BUt i know if we just wait a few more months DH will have his CPA and he won't be so stressed out and it iwll be a better time.
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| Posted 2/13/08 6:40 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Am i the only thats torn about this?
I think you have to be emotionally ready more than anything. Things change 100% once you have a baby. We kind of just woke up one day and said we were ready (well, really - I woke up one day, and he went along with it)
You will never have enough money
You will never have a big enough house
The timing will never be perfect.
But you have to be ready for this committment. It it's not right now - you'll know when the time comes.
But, let me just say this - having a child has by far, been the best thing I have ever done with my life.
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| Posted 2/13/08 7:02 PM |
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