DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

I asked my mother to go to the sonogram (level II), or maybe she asked, but whatever, she is going. My DH just told me the other day that he thinks it is for us to share together, without my mother. But at the first two sonos he was very bla, meaning he didn't have much reaction to them, so I thought he wouldn't mind if she came, and I let him know that his mother can come too. Anyway, Now I feel bad that I did this to him. He has so much trouble communicating his feelings to me, which is why it took so long for him to tell me how he felt about my mother being there. She is so happy to go and excited, I couldn't ask her not to come, I don't think its a big deal that she will be there.

Is it weird to have a parent there at a sonogram?

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

I want my mother at our level 2, but I think my DH would feel a little slighted because it really is a moment for the two of you when you find out if your baby is a boy or a girl..

Maybe a comprimise would be that mom could step out of the room for a moment when the tech is inspecting the baby's "parts" and then you could share the news with mom in the waiting room?

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

My mom came to my 12 week sonogram and went to numerous ones of my sisters. I don't think it is unusual at all. I think for my sisters level 2 my mom and her MIL waited in the waiting room while they did the beginning of the sono and the sex determination and they came in afterwards just to see the b aby quickly. Maybe that is an option?

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

I wish my mom came - where i had it done they only allowed one other person in there - at the end - to find out the sex.
Dh wasn't allowed to stand there and watch the whole exam.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

My mom came to the 20 week one also, but we werent finding out the sex of the baby. My DH was concerned that the room wasnt big enough and he would miss seeing it all, but my mom stood back so that he could see more than her. I agree that if you are finding out the sex it might be a good idea to ask her to leave the room so you can share that alone. Then you get the added bonus of telling her too!
If you arent finding out the sex, maybe you could just make sure that she takes a back seat and allows him to be up front more.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

My mom may be at the doctor with me next week. Its my level II appointment and she wants to meet the doctor. My husband works nights during the winter so if anything ever happens she will be the one to take me to the hospital. Maybe first just have you and your husband go in and see the sonogram first together and then ask a nurse to bring your mother in after to see the sonoigram.

good luck!

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

We wanted our Level II to just be us so we invited the parents to the 12 week sono and let them know that we wanted the Level II to be just us. They were ok with that. What if you talk to your mom and let her know that this is a special sono and even though you said she could go, that you thought about it and just want it to be the two of you.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

I was your DH. I didn't want anyone there but the two of us. I didn't put the offer out to anyone else to come.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

My mom came to my level II but I asked DH if it was ok with him before I told her yes.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

You probably should have checked with him first but IMHO I think he could be better about it. Yes, it's an amazing time for you guys, but it's also exciting for the whole family.

My mom came to my ultrascreen with us and both my parents came to my Level II (the first and the second tomorrow).

ETS: We did not find out the sex so I do agree that maybe you're mom could step out and let you have that moment - or you could ask the tech to write it down for you and you guys can share opening the paper privately at home later over a nice dinner.

Message edited 11/28/2007 9:49:54 PM.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

I wanted my dad at my last one, but the morbid side of me was always thinking - "what if they find something wrong?" -then my poor dad would have to be there for that...

Thats the only thing that kept me from inviting anyone except DH....

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

I think that you should have asked your DH first. Yes he may have been bla for the first few, but that doesn't mean he wasn't feeling anything. It just means he had a hard time expressing what he was feeling.

Me personally, this whole experience is for my DH and I. That's it. We made this baby together. No one else. But that's just me.

I think that you need to respect his wishes on this. I would have been hurt too if my DH asked his mom to go...

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

i think its really too late, you cant ask her to leave the room...i know my mom would be upset...not mad but hurt...maybe you could nicely explain that you and you hubby wants to keep it a suprise untill the holidays and then announce, that way she doesnt take it personal....just an idea....

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

I dont think what you did was wrong. And at this point, I definitely wouldnt tell her not to come.

I would have her come along.........and just let her know prior to the visit..........that when they tell you the sex of the baby, if she would mind going to the waiting room so that it would be yours and DH's moment. Then you can tell her just a few minutes later. I'm sure your mom will be so excited just to be there that she wont care about that part. I think its a fair part to your DH as well.

Good Luck! And if you do find out.......don't forget to come on here and tell us!! You need to post some pics of your belly too!

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

My mother came to our Level II sono and DH was ok with it. I dont see anything wrong with it.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

my mom has come to all my appts with DH

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

Where are you doing the sonogram? The room I had was pretty big...DH watched the screen the tech was working from and my step daughter watched the TV that is over the table that is meant for me to watch. DH thought the tech's screen was much better than our screen.

My point ... is that your mom won't be in the way if your room is set up like mine....DH was at the end of the table holding on to my leg...while my step-daughter was sitting on a chair next to me

Message edited 11/29/2007 9:29:40 AM.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

my dh did not want anyone at our level II so we just went the 2 of us. I did pay for a 3d sono at christmas time and my mom, mil, fil, sil, sister, bil and friend were all there

It was awesome

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

Don't get me wrong... there is nothing wrong with wanting your mother there with you. But i think your husband has a right to be upset since you didn't run it passed him first!

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

DH and I felt it was a special time btwn the two of us, so we decided to do all visits just us. Its a personal choice, my mother passed away, so maybe thats why it was easier for me to decide.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

My mom came to our level II but we had her wait outside while we found out the sex and then we called her in.

Message edited 11/29/2007 10:12:04 AM.

Re: DH is upset Mother will be at sonogram

sometimes a girl just wants her mommy.

I think DH could have communicated this better but my DH would probably say the same thing.