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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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NM
Message edited 9/10/2007 3:47:38 PM.
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Posted 8/27/07 3:22 PM  |
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nylisa
My Children
Member since 5/05 7905 total posts
Name:
MaMa
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I did not ask my SIL to a BM.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:23 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I voted yes.
I think the only circumstance where it is not necessary is if the FH did not have a good relationship with her.
This is how I think of it: Is they only reason they are not in the bridal party is because they are not the same sex as their sibling? Meaning if they were brothers, would DH ask them to be a groomsman?
Am I being clear?
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:25 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I didn't ask SIL to be a bridesmaid and DH didn't ask my brothers to be ushers.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:27 PM |
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Boobobunny
Live in the Present
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
Dannielle
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I had asked mine as a favor to DH. His sister said yes immediatly. She had 18months to save money for her dress and a wedding gift for us. I ended up paying for her dress, her step daughter's dress and the alterations. Our Card from them was a yellow piece of legal paper that she drew a picture on. No gift...until our 1yr anniversary.
DH and her had a falling out last month...their relationship has been strained for some time. He swears that he will never speak to her again. (she left our infant daughter with her step daughter, so she could go to Starbucks...after she practically begged us to leave our kids with her)
so basically I had 2 people in my wedding party that I will potentially never speak to again. I have loads of pictures of them...instead of my personal friends who I have been friends with my whole life.
so my answer is only have the people in your party that will always be close to your heart.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:29 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I asked SIL, she said yes at first and then no because she was PG and due a month before our wedding. Her DH was a groomsman and she overall is a miserable nightmare who tried to ruin my wedding (whole 'nother thread  )
I myself was a MOH a month after my due date with my DD (wound up being 7 weeks)...
Now, would I have asked her if I had another chance, yes...It's just the thing to do.
Unless they have like 6 sisters.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:29 PM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I didn't ask my SIL to be in my wedding party. Nobody minded until I kicked out one of my bridesmaids. Then suddenly my MIL was up my a$$ about replacing the girl I kicked out with SIL. I did it to keep the #'s even but that is the only reason she was in it.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:30 PM |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
Posted by nylisa
I did not ask my SIL to a BM.
Ditto- it's YOUR bridal party- you ask who you want.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:31 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I get along well with my SILs but I had no intention of asking them to be BMs and I think they were totally fine with it.
I think it's truly up to the bride. If you're not close with your FSIL why have her as a BM?
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:35 PM |
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I asked my husband's sister to be in our wedding. That was a no brainer and I'm happy that we did it. 
I did not ask his sister-in-law because my husband and I do not have a relationship with her. We thought about asking her to do a reading but decided against it.
Ask people to be in your wedding who mean the world to you. You'll be happy that you did it. 
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:41 PM |
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oneday
<3
Member since 5/05 4319 total posts
Name:
Pam
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
Neither my DH's 2 sisters & thier husbands or my brother & his wife were in the bridal party - we did haveour siblings do readings though.
For us it was only b/c we decided to do it small - only 2 MOH's and 2 Best Men.
We have a very good relationship with all involved and I don't think anyone's nose was out of joint b/c of it. I did sometimes want to change it so we included them all, but they were a big part of our day anyway (and as it turned out, my brothers wife couldn't have made it because she would have been 8+ months pregnant and they live in NC - then she had my neice 2 months early anyway.)
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:42 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
Posted by Ellebelle1
Although, it never bothered me that she never asked me to be a bridesmaid, over the weekend at her wedding it seemed kind of awkward for me to sit in the audience while my husband and in-laws were on the alter.
I think if it didn't bother you, why would it be any more awkward than if it was someone else's wedding (not DH's relative)?
I have been to several weddings where either DH or I were in the BP and the other just had to sit there and watch. If you don't know anyone else, its definitely awkward to sit there by yourself. But I don't think that would change if IL were up there or not.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:43 PM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
Message edited 9/10/2007 3:47:59 PM.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:45 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I don't think it's an automatic in. DH has 4 sisters and 1 SIL (on his side)...that would have made for a monstrous BP and not something we were into. We only had one of his sisters in the BP as his "Best Woman".
No one had a problem with it...and they are definitely the type to say something even if "just kidding around". 
I think it's all a matter of personal preference and shouldn't be taken personally - especially if you aren't particularly close with the person.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:48 PM |
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Chrisnamy
Summer is coming soon
Member since 1/07 3991 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
They all got married before me......and they didn't ask me.....nor did i ask their girls to be in the wedding party!
I just had my Sister!
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:48 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I didn't ask SIL to be a bridesmaid and I am glad I didn't. 3 months before the wedding, she was mad at me bc I didn't ask her to make my wedding invites (which she has no experience in) and the fact that her 3 month old daughter would not be invited to the wedding (when she wanted the baby to come so she could show her off to everyone)...and proceeded to leave my DH 7 voicemails in 7 different personalities calling me names and saying that she will object at our wedding.
I beat her to the punch, and dis-invited her before her invite even went out. I am SOOOOO glad I didn't ask her to be in the wedding.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:49 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
I'm not close to my SIL and I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding though and after her wedding, I tried to connect with her. We were too different. I was doing typical college girl things and she was anxious to start a family.
I don't expect to be asked when my other three brothers or my BIL get married.
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| Posted 8/27/07 3:59 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
Posted by Ellebelle1
The bride took zero pictures with her husband's family.
That's strange.
And a bit rude IMO.
But I don't think that it has anything to do with who's a BM and who isn't.
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| Posted 8/27/07 4:02 PM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by Ellebelle1
The bride took zero pictures with her husband's family.
That's strange.
And a bit rude IMO.
But I don't think that it has anything to do with who's a BM and who isn't.
I know. It was just an off-topic thing I wanted to throw out there.
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| Posted 8/27/07 4:04 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
Nope. I did however have his niece as a Jr bridesmaid.
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| Posted 8/27/07 4:09 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
Posted by Ellebelle1
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by Ellebelle1
The bride took zero pictures with her husband's family.
That's strange.
And a bit rude IMO.
But I don't think that it has anything to do with who's a BM and who isn't.
I know. It was just an off-topic thing I wanted to throw out there.
gotcha. 
It would seem to me though she does seem to have some sort of issue with your DH's family. I mean it's one thing to not ask your FSIL to be in your BP, but to not take a single picture with your new ILs?
It would seem to me that there's more to that story...
Again, I have to stick to my first response of not having her in your BP. And I would say do your best to not feel awkward. Clearly she didn't!
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| Posted 8/27/07 4:13 PM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
my SIL (DH's sister) was in my BP and now that she's getting married im in hers. we get along just fine (except when she's in bridezilla mode...but she's getting better ).
however, i dont think it should be a mandatory thing. i think it all depends on whether or not you like the person. if you dont get along, then that would only cause friction and drama -- cause then they would only be saying yes to be polite and would probably not be very helpful in the planning process or they would say no and that would just make things awkward.
Message edited 8/27/2007 4:20:02 PM.
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| Posted 8/27/07 4:18 PM |
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sticklee
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 2984 total posts
Name:
Stick
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
if it is your DH's sister, i would say it is good form to invite her to be a bridesmaid
if it is DH's brother's wife - eh - only if you have a great relationship
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| Posted 8/27/07 4:19 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
Posted by Mssissy
I didn't ask SIL to be a bridesmaid and DH didn't ask my brothers to be ushers.
ditto
its funny cause my mom and were talking about this very topic today. cause i'm in a wedding coming up soon and my DH is not. my mom made a comment like "well you are married and he should be in the party too" and i was like "um why??? so if a cop buddy of his that i don't know very well is getting married and asks him to be a GM then the bride MUST ask me? that's stupid."
she still didn't quite get it--but she's old school i guess. i dunno
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| Posted 8/27/07 4:22 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Sister-in-laws and bridesmaids
DH has two sisters and I did not ask them to be bridesmaids. However, I did not ask my own sisters or my brother's wife to be bridesmaids either. My two sisters were close to 50 years old and at the time, the last thing either one of them would have wanted to do is be in a bridesmaid dress. My brother's wife would have done it, but was relieved that she did not have to. The decision was out of respect to my sisters. We included my DH's sisters in our ceremony by having them recite the 7 marriage blessings in Hebrew and in English in our Jewish ceremony. This is a big honor and it was very exciting.
Had we had siblings regardless of whether or not they wanted to be included, I would have had a bridal party of 10 ladies on my side and I would have been miserable. 10 ladies. 10 opinions. 10 dresses. 10 nightmares. Thanks but no thanks.
We had my brother's and my sister's children in the BP.
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| Posted 8/27/07 4:29 PM |
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