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Would you have intervened?
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you have intervened?
I would not have intervened. There is no way that I could have proved that physical abuse was going on. Maybe if I knew that this was an ongoing issue I would contact ACS.
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Posted 7/6/07 11:07 AM  |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by My2Boys
Sorry ladies, but respect is EARNED, not a given.
Yes, and as that girl's mother - she EARNED that respect when she carried her in her body for 9 months and gave birth to her. Period.
At least, that's how I was raised.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:12 AM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Would you have intervened?
I would have called.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:17 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by cpanyc
This is part of the problem with teenagers today. Parents can't discipline a kid without the whole world crying "abuse". Kids know this and they use it. They have no fear, so they say and do what they want and thumb their nose at adults because we can't touch them.
ETA: And I don't think parents have to "earn" respect from their kids.
Just quoting this because this is SOOOOO TRUE.... on so many levels.... and i find it ironic that many of the same people that would report it, are the same ones that question WHY teenagers don't have any respect these days--- its clear, because they don't have to, apparently. 
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:20 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
I find it amusing that everyone is judging the mother, the daughter and the entire situation.
I would call the cops and let them be the judge.
if I hear blood curdling screams from 4 houses down, I am calling the cops!
Message edited 7/6/2007 11:22:32 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:22 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
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Properly perfect™
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Re: Would you have intervened?
What, no one here would call if there was a loud ongoing disturbance with obscenities flying? Around here after 10 minutes the phone would be in hand calling 911...by the time the 20 min mark passed with the "alleged" physical abuse the cops would have already been there.
Then I could sit back and play trivia with a clear head
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:23 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by neenie
Posted by cpanyc
This is part of the problem with teenagers today. Parents can't discipline a kid without the whole world crying "abuse". Kids know this and they use it. They have no fear, so they say and do what they want and thumb their nose at adults because we can't touch them.
ETA: And I don't think parents have to "earn" respect from their kids.
Just quoting this because this is SOOOOO TRUE.... on so many levels.... and i find it ironic that many of the same people that would report it, are the same ones that question WHY teenagers don't have any respect these days--- its clear, because they don't have to, apparently.
I hear what you guys are saying, and to a point, I'll concede that children and teenagers seem to have an apparent lack of respect these days, and some of that has to do with a total lack of discipline (my daughter and I experienced the brunt of this earlier in the week when a little girl literally mauled her and her daddy coddled her instead of disciplining her).
But, with that said, I also firmly believe that the "discipline" that is so clearly lacking these days, can be implemented in a variety of ways, and that physical force/intimidation/aggression is not the preferred method of discipline. There are exceptions, as there are exceptions to everything in this world. But, generally, you can instill respect in your children without using force. I know for myself that's exactly how I was raised, and the only instance of physical aggression I can remember is when my mother slapped me - once.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:25 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Would you have intervened?
a child - i might call in a domestic disturbance
this was a teenager
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:28 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by neenie
Posted by cpanyc
This is part of the problem with teenagers today. Parents can't discipline a kid without the whole world crying "abuse". Kids know this and they use it. They have no fear, so they say and do what they want and thumb their nose at adults because we can't touch them.
ETA: And I don't think parents have to "earn" respect from their kids.
Just quoting this because this is SOOOOO TRUE.... on so many levels.... and i find it ironic that many of the same people that would report it, are the same ones that question WHY teenagers don't have any respect these days--- its clear, because they don't have to, apparently.
precisely
kids have it too soft today - everything is about abuse - no one teaches respect anymore
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:30 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Bxgell2
I hear what you guys are saying, and to a point, I'll concede that children and teenagers seem to have an apparent lack of respect these days, and some of that has to do with a total lack of discipline (my daughter and I experienced the brunt of this earlier in the week when a little girl literally mauled her and her daddy coddled her instead of disciplining her).
But, with that said, I also firmly believe that the "discipline" that is so clearly lacking these days, can be implemented in a variety of ways, and that physical force/intimidation/aggression is not the preferred method of discipline. There are exceptions, as there are exceptions to everything in this world. But, generally, you can instill respect in your children without using force. I know for myself that's exactly how I was raised, and the only instance of physical aggression I can remember is when my mother slapped me - once.
I completely agree.
If someone was hitting a stranger, they would be arrested for assult and battery so why would it be okay to do the same to your children?
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:33 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Would you have intervened?
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:45 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
you'll get no heat from me,. it's the absolute truth.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:48 AM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
No heat here!
The same was for me. ITA with what you said.
Message edited 7/6/2007 11:49:40 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:49 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
ITA!!!! Same here.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:50 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Gertyrae
Because she was a teenager and fighting back with her mother, I wouldn't have gotten involved.
me too.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:50 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Would you have intervened?
No heat from me Don...an occasional slap in my eyes is not the same as a loud fight that turns into a child begging her mother to stop repeatedly hitting her.
That being said the real issue nowadays is alot of parents just don't stick with discipline because it is easier to give in....not gonna happen around here. My daughter will learn respect without being physically abused just like I did
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:51 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
I do not disagree with you. kids DEFINITELY need dicipline!
however, if you're hearing screams from 4 houses down, that IMO is not typical behavior. I stand by what I said. I would call the cops in a heartbeat and let them be the judge.
Message edited 7/6/2007 11:52:08 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:51 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:51 AM |
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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by BabyAvocado
I would NOT have intervened.
I agree. No offense but if I called my mom a B!tch at 15, she would have thrown a pot at my head, and I would have deserved it
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:53 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
I don't think anyone on LIF, or posting on this particular topic, believes that it isn't important to discipline your children. The heart of the issue is how? By physical assault? I think where people split on the issue is some believe that physical intimidation is an appropriate response in some instances, whereas others do not.
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:56 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Moehick
No heat from me Don...an occasional slap in my eyes is not the same as a loud fight that turns into a child begging her mother to stop repeatedly hitting her.
That being said the real issue nowadays is alot of parents just don't stick with discipline because it is easier to give in....not gonna happen around here. My daughter will learn respect without being physically abused just like I did
i read that real fast and thought you said, "slap IN the eyes"
and i was like OUCH 
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| Posted 7/6/07 11:58 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
I do not disagree with you. kids DEFINITELY need dicipline!
however, if you're hearing screams from 4 houses down, that IMO is not typical behavior. I stand by what I said. I would call the cops in a heartbeat and let them be the judge.
like i said in another thread - kids know how to work the system - for all we know that's what the kid WANTED you to hear.
Now, if you see this kid walking around in the next few days with bruises, by all means call CPS - but if you don't see a scratch on her, then you may have an overly dramatic case.
Plus, if this was regular abuse on the part of the mother, I don't think the kid would be calling her a b*tch. In fact, a teenager probably would've run away by now.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:01 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Bxgell2
I don't think anyone on LIF, or posting on this particular topic, believes that it isn't important to discipline your children. The heart of the issue is how? By physical assault? I think where people split on the issue is some believe that physical intimidation is an appropriate response in some instances, whereas others do not.
I just want to be ABUNDANTLY clear.
I do not belive that assault or "intimidation" is an appropriate response.
I believe that occasional spankings are fine in the course of disciplining your child.
I also believe that in THIS situation, the teenager probably was NOT shown proper respect or discipline and is a product of the new generation (as outlined by Don in his post) and I believe the mom is reaping the results of that now, with a daughter who does not respect her and who she has no longer a way to control.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:02 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Would you have intervened?
I wouldn't have intervened at all. I would have listened but MYOB.
If I called my mother a b!tch, she would have beat me...and I would have deserved it. Kids have no respect for their parents nowadays. Back when I was little I feared my parents as well as respected them.
Message edited 7/6/2007 12:04:12 PM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:03 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Moehick
No heat from me Don...an occasional slap in my eyes is not the same as a loud fight that turns into a child begging her mother to stop repeatedly hitting her.
That being said the real issue nowadays is alot of parents just don't stick with discipline because it is easier to give in....not gonna happen around here. My daughter will learn respect without being physically abused just like I did
i read that real fast and thought you said, "slap IN the eyes"
and i was like OUCH
Yeah us Irish fight dirty
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:04 PM |
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