I HAVE to ask this...

Normally I don't criticize people (well, try not to) and I try not to understand them. BUT, this always makes me . Why do people often feel the need to speek up for a group of people.

I am not referring to one person in particular, but very often I see something along these lines "I am just saying what others are afraid to." OR "Whenever I speak my mind, I get loads of FMs thanking me for saying what they were thinking."

I see these comments at LEAST twice a week and always wonder why one would assume that they are the designated speaker of a group. AND, do people really FM someone saying "thanks for saying what I was thinking" or the like? If you feel strongly about something, why wouldn't you say something for yourself instead of waiting for someone else to say it?

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

some people are afraid to speak up for themselves or scared to start drama so they don't say anything pubically.

Others say "i get lot's of FM's about this" as a way, I think, to validate what they are saying (whether they need the validation or not is up for debate).

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

Believe it or not, I actually do get FMs thanking me for saying certain things, which is odd, since I don't think I really say anything out of left field But I agree with Deb, I think that people do say it as a way of validating themselves because honestly, you couldn't really prove them wrong, no?

As for not saying what you think, I don't always, however, I don't say anythign at all, then. Sometimes it's just not worth saying anything.

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

Sometimes it might be because your response was already posted and rather than posting the same thing you said they just felt like FM'ing you as to not be repetitive on the thread. Just something I have thought about too. I never understood when the OP gets the same anwer over and over! Who knows!

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

Yeah, I guess you guys are right. I just always feel like even if I agree with the person, it is pretty presumptuous to speak for me. I guess I'm just weird

ETS: I don't mean I "guess" you're right, I KNOW you are right

Message edited 7/3/2007 9:08:22 PM.

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

I have FM'd people before to tell them that I share their opinion, or that they are well spoken. I look at it as another way to share something in common and to continue a conversation, but privately.

I've gotten FM's from people thanking me for expressing a common view, or who just didn't want to speak out. But I don't flaunt that in disagreements, it's not necessary. They FM'd for a reason, and I wouldn't share that publicly or with anyone else via FM either.

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

because some people are nicer then others.

I often see others "beat aroudn the bush"...Im NOT that way, so I tend to say..What others mean is......Because well if the poster is not getting it, then Im gonna tell them.

I dont try to do it to be mean, Im just honest.

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

Why do people feel the need to speak for "groups"?

Not sure if this related to the ghetto thread but in that case, I believe the responding posters were pointing out the word caused a lot of drama & the OP may want to rethink it.

Do people FM others thanking them for speaking up?

Yes definitely. I've gotten many but don't feel the need to say it publically who supports me or has the same opinion. If the FMers wanted it public, they would have joined the thread. Some people want to keep things neutral & I completely understand that.

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

Message edited 7/3/2007 11:32:26 PM.

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

Jeez, if I named all the ppl who sent me FMs to comment on the clarity and thoughtfulness of my comments, well, that'd be 2 people.

Message edited 7/3/2007 11:38:48 PM.

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

I have no clue, this site is very clicky.
*from clickes*

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

I've never assumed that I was speaking up for people.

But if I have voiced a differing opinion in the past, I've received FM's from people backing up my stance. But they don't post them publicly. I wish they would. But I guess they don't want to get caught p in the "drama".

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

I know I have gotten a lot of thank you FMs from people in the past because I sometimes DO type before thinking, and people have agreed with what I wrote...

I do agree that people do need validation so they share it on the boards...

not for nothing though - being on the boards in general IS the ultimate practice in seeking validation. I mean, how many times do people check responses when they start a thread. They in essence are really looking to see who is validating their thoughts and opinions.

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

I have gotten FM's thanking me for saying something regarding an issue. BUT, I have never said that I was speaking for a group or everyone on the board. I am nowhere near that self important - whatever I say, I am saying for myself.

ETA: I agree with the others though, when someone says they are speaking for a group or that they have gotten numerous FM's about their viewpoint it's a form of validation that may or may not be true.

Message edited 7/4/2007 6:54:15 AM.

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

there is very much a "gang mentality" on these boards. when one person, especially a "popular" poster, posts her opinion, you often get 20 more of exactly the same. and then when someone actually writes what they think, it kind of "breaks the ice" and allows others to disagree as well. sometimes the "gang" will attack the poster who disagrees and other times posters will come out of the woodworks to begin posting their true opinions.

LIW was much the same way

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

Re: I HAVE to ask this...

I would say something for myself...the only time I got FMs from people not really thanking me, but supporting me was when one person on here said something about how he/she parks in handicapped spots. Nothing makes my blood boil more than this as a sibling of someone who is disabled....and yes, I got angry. Crazy mad. I told this person off, and the person did come to me on FM and more or less apologize. But I did get "you go, girl!" FMs. LOL. If no one else was going to say something, I was going to! In general, I say what I feel. I'm not scared to express my thoughts. What would people be afraid of? An angry emoticon coming their way? Who cares???!