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kimchee
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/07 428 total posts
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Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
What is with the baby in the family? Is it common for them to be so spoiled?
My sister has 3 girls and the last one is so spoiled. Unlike the older 2 girls, the last one is abit over 3 yo. and constantly clings to her mother!
I never had a chance to hold her 'cus she gets all teary-eyed the moment I get near her. The only person who she would allow near her is my mother and her parents.
I'm abit peeved 'cus I love my nieces and was thinking of opening a trust fund for them, but I'm definitely NOT going to put the youngest one name on the fund the way she act towards me.
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Posted 6/26/07 8:34 PM  |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
I think you are overgeneralizing last borns. I am a middle so I am not even defending my position but I dont think "all" last borns are spoiled. Also, just had to add I wouldnt open up trust funds for 2 out of 3...thats just not right. I think you have to overlook her age and realize she is just a child and eventually her temperment will change. Her personalities just different then the other 2 and thats okay. Within time she will change.
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| Posted 6/26/07 8:38 PM |
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groovypeg
:)
Member since 5/05 2423 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by kimchee
What is with the baby in the family? Is it common for them to be so spoiled?
My sister has 3 girls and the last one is so spoiled. Unlike the older 2 girls, the last one is abit over 3 yo. and constantly clings to her mother!
I never had a chance to hold her 'cus she gets all teary-eyed the moment I get near her. The only person who she would allow near her is my mother and her parents.
I'm abit peeved 'cus I love my nieces and was thinking of opening a trust fund for them, but I'm definitely NOT going to put the youngest one name on the fund the way she act towards me.
i dont think you should take it so personally. my niece was like this with my dh and yes, it hurt him, but it made him try even harder to gain her trust and affection. personally, i would not leave her out of a trust fund. she's 3. you are the adult. try to figure out why she is like that with you. spoiled or not, she is your niece.
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| Posted 6/26/07 8:39 PM |
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ABCiverson
<3 my family
Member since 1/06 7465 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by PrincessP
I think you are overgeneralizing last borns. I am a middle so I am not even defending my position but I dont think "all" last borns are spoiled. Also, just had to add I wouldnt open up trust funds for 2 out of 3...thats just not right. I think you have to overlook her age and realize she is just a child and eventually her temperment will change. Her personalities just different then the other 2 and thats okay. Within time she will change.
I agree!
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| Posted 6/26/07 8:41 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Don't be so spiteful, she's a child! Sheesh! Maybe she senses your negative attitude towards her?
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| Posted 6/26/07 8:45 PM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Out of my family and DH's family, YES the last kid (both girls) are totally spoiled.
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| Posted 6/26/07 8:47 PM |
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kimchee
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/07 428 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Sorry I neglected to mention that she treats the other adults like that too... cries anytime someone other than my mom her parents gets near her.
Everyone in my family knows she's abit of a princess.
I have 7 nieces and nephews and honestly can't open a trust fund for each of them, so I just wanted to narrow down to the ones I care the most about. Just needed a way to justify to my sister that I will only open a trust fund for the first two 'cus they are my favorite nieces and I really don't have the money to open one for all 7. :(
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| Posted 6/26/07 8:51 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by kimchee
Sorry I neglected to mention that she treats the other adults like that too... cries anytime someone other than my mom her parents gets near her.
Everyone in my family knows she's abit of a princess.
I have 7 nieces and nephews and honestly can't open a trust fund for each of them, so I just wanted to narrow down to the ones I care the most about. Just needed a way to justify to my sister that I will only open a trust fund for the first two 'cus they are my favorite nieces and I really don't have the money to open one for all 7. :(
but you stated above that its because the way that she acts is why you are excluding her from the other two children? 
I dont know...I am just giving my honest opinion...I think you are going to burn some bridges if you open funds for 2 out of 7.
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| Posted 6/26/07 8:53 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by kimchee
Sorry I neglected to mention that she treats the other adults like that too... cries anytime someone other than my mom her parents gets near her.
Everyone in my family knows she's abit of a princess.
I have 7 nieces and nephews and honestly can't open a trust fund for each of them, so I just wanted to narrow down to the ones I care the most about. Just needed a way to justify to my sister that I will only open a trust fund for the first two 'cus they are my favorite nieces and I really don't have the money to open one for all 7. :(
I know this was not the point of your post, but don't you think that you are going to cause some major rifts in your family when you tell your sister that you like two of her kids and don't care for the third one, so the first two get a trust fund and the last one gets nothing??? Kind of harsh don't you think?
If one of my siblings came up to me and said I want to open a trust fund for baby #1 because I like him better, but not baby #2, I'd tell him forget it, that my kids will not be treated with favoritism.
Message edited 6/26/2007 8:59:04 PM.
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| Posted 6/26/07 8:54 PM |
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-Lisa-
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Member since 5/05 6530 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by kimchee
I have 7 nieces and nephews and honestly can't open a trust fund for each of them, so I just wanted to narrow down to the ones I care the most about. Just needed a way to justify to my sister that I will only open a trust fund for the first two 'cus they are my favorite nieces and I really don't have the money to open one for all 7. :(
Honestly, if you can't do it for the 3 of them, I wouldn't do it at all. I don't like treating siblings differently (unless you're the godmother to the others). You may try to "justify" it to your sister, but how will you explain it to you niece when she's older and her sisters get $$.
I wouldn't hold her behavior against her. She's three, and will likely grow out of it.
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| Posted 6/26/07 8:56 PM |
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kimchee
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/07 428 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
I don't think it's going to be a huge deal. The second niece is my goddaughter. I could just as well only open the trust fund for her using that reasoning. But I also love my first niece and don't want to exclude her considering she's the one who's doing exceptionally well in school now.
I ask you though, if your sister or brother offer to open a trust fund for the first 2 and not the 3rd would you honestly turn her down completely 'cus she can't afford to open one for ALL your kids?
To me that's like refusing a gift 'cus it's not the one you want.
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:03 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by kimchee
I'm abit peeved 'cus I love my nieces and was thinking of opening a trust fund for them, but I'm definitely NOT going to put the youngest one name on the fund the way she act towards me.
I'm sorry, this is so nasty. She is THREE!
ETA: I didn't see that you said you had seven nieces and nephews. The fair thing to do would be open up seven smaller accounts instead of picking and choosing.
Message edited 6/26/2007 9:10:06 PM.
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:06 PM |
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Holly
Prayers to those who need them
Member since 5/05 6631 total posts
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Holly
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by kimchee
I don't think it's going to be a huge deal. The second niece is my goddaughter. I could just as well only open the trust fund for her using that reasoning. But I also love my first niece and don't want to exclude her considering she's the one who's doing exceptionally well in school now.
I ask you though, if your sister or brother offer to open a trust fund for the first 2 and not the 3rd would you honestly turn her down completely 'cus she can't afford to open one for ALL your kids?
To me that's like refusing a gift 'cus it's not the one you want.
I would definitely turn down my siblings offer of a trust fund if he was not doing for all 3 of my kids...
First you said you are not putting one out for her because she is spoiled, then you said you cannot afford it...
I think you are being very unfair
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:11 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by kimchee
I don't think it's going to be a huge deal. The second niece is my goddaughter. I could just as well only open the trust fund for her using that reasoning. But I also love my first niece and don't want to exclude her considering she's the one who's doing exceptionally well in school now.
I ask you though, if your sister or brother offer to open a trust fund for the first 2 and not the 3rd would you honestly turn her down completely 'cus she can't afford to open one for ALL your kids?
To me that's like refusing a gift 'cus it's not the one you want.
Yes, I would absolutely say please don't open a trust fund for one over the other. All that will do is make the child feel unloved and not special when they find out that his/her sibling was given this and he/she was not. I'd figure out a way to give to each of them or none of them.
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:13 PM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by ddunne2
Posted by kimchee
I don't think it's going to be a huge deal. The second niece is my goddaughter. I could just as well only open the trust fund for her using that reasoning. But I also love my first niece and don't want to exclude her considering she's the one who's doing exceptionally well in school now.
I ask you though, if your sister or brother offer to open a trust fund for the first 2 and not the 3rd would you honestly turn her down completely 'cus she can't afford to open one for ALL your kids?
To me that's like refusing a gift 'cus it's not the one you want.
Yes, I would absolutely say please don't open a trust fund for one over the other. All that will do is make the child feel unloved and not special when they find out that his/her sibling was given this and he/she was not. I'd figure out a way to give to each of them or none of them.
I completely agree. And I am a last born (the youngest of 3) and I can honestly say that I was quite a brat for awhile, but I did grow out of it and now I think I am more considerate (on some things) than my siblings. Give her a break. You might just grow to love her just as much as the other two.
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:17 PM |
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groovypeg
:)
Member since 5/05 2423 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by kimchee
I'm abit peeved 'cus I love my nieces and was thinking of opening a trust fund for them, but I'm definitely NOT going to put the youngest one name on the fund the way she act towards me.
I'm sorry, this is so nasty. She is THREE!
ETA: I didn't see that you said you had seven nieces and nephews. The fair thing to do would be open up seven smaller accounts instead of picking and choosing.
i agree. i think that is a better solution instead of playing favorites.
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:31 PM |
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Charly
LOVE!
Member since 5/05 12578 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
If you were just openning one for your godchild, then I would understand. However YES I would turn down a trust fund if you left out one of my 3 children. I would be very hurt.
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:38 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
I agree with the majority vote here. Not only will the girl be crushed when she gets older, but your own sister will most likely be hurt.
Her daughter is more attached to her than her others, so obviously she (your sister) has a special bond with her little one, and you excluding her from a special gift is NOT something very nice..
So as nice as a gift that you set out to give to your favorites, your actually going to cause more tension than happiness....
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:39 PM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Well first off, I am a last born and definately was not EVER spoiled. If anything, they were stricter with me because I was "the baby"... Anyhoo, I also agree that you should not favor 2 out of 3 children or 2 out of 7.. whatever it may be. That is just wrong.
And also cut the girl some slack, she is only 3. I was the same way when I was little.. attached to my Mother's leg at all times, and would cry if anyone else looked at me. That included family members.
I have 2 nieces and a nephew and I would never consider leaving one of them out. If you cant afford them all, then you shouldnt do it at all.
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:47 PM |
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-Lisa-
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Member since 5/05 6530 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
You seem to be looking for a way to spite your niece because of the way she behaves towards you, and that seems more childish than any of her behavior.
If you're opening a trust fund with the two girls as beneficiaries, why wouldn't you include the third? It doesn't cost you more money.
To exclude one sister is just plain mean, and I don't think your sister or nieces will understand.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:16 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
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Mel
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by prncss
Don't be so spiteful, she's a child! Sheesh! Maybe she senses your negative attitude towards her?
ITA!!!
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:17 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Reality is...this post has nothing to do with the topic posted. It has to do with what you can or can not afford. If you cant afford for everyone then dont do it for anyone. I would absolutely turn down your offer if it were for 2 out of 3 children.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:21 PM |
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JTK
my 4 boys!
Member since 6/06 7396 total posts
Name:
Kristi
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
i agree you are acting childish.. a 3 year cannot be held accountable for clinging to her mother and not to you.. sorry. i would never let my sisters open a trust fund for only 2 of my 3.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:22 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
I really, really dont understand ADULTS who get offended when a CHILD doesnt seem to like them!! it blows my mind.....
If my sister offered to exclude one of my kids in a trust fund then I would absolutely be offended and would tell her to keep it and to be honest I would be really pizzed at her...
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:32 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Wow, I should introduce you to my FIL, who is angry with my 2 yo b/c she won't go near him, yet he pretty much yells at her all the time and makes negative comments. It must be easy for both of you to sit back in your perfect glass house not having any imperfections.
I wonder why it is she doens't like you and the rest of your family? It's such a mystery. You all seem so positive, criticizing a 3 yo for having stranger anxiety. With the plethora of advertisements I see for medication aimed at people with social anxiety is it really that shocking that it affects children too. 
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:45 PM |
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