My 2 cents on CIO

This is not a drama post- I am sharing my story to help , just like I have always read all of yours.

I have always been against CIO. As a lot of you know we have always had MAJOR sleep issues in my house. Until last week dd slept in my bed right between us every night.

I held her every second for my 4 month maternity leave- literally every minute of every day. If I wasn't holding her dh was or she was strapped to my chest.

I had other reasons for doing it- she had reflux and colic and cried for her first 6 months. I would not change the way I handled it at all because I really feel that is what she needed at the time, but it made for some very serious sleep issues over here. She had absolutely no sleeping skills at all.
To be honest, I love sleeping with her, and napping with her. But nobody was really sleeping well, and dd was not capable of napping on her own which was causing major issues at daycare.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I got a new camera and was taking her picture when I noticed- dd had BAGS under her eyes! Really bad ones!
And I felt torn too. Because I wanted to do what was right for her, but I wasn't sure what that was.
I would gladly sacrifice all my sleep to keep her from crying for even a second, but it wasn't about me sleeping. It was because my little girl was cranky and tired all the time.

I told my mom that I liked sleeping with her and I don't want to have to hear her cry and her answer was "it's not about you!" and she was right.

So we started last week. It has been really awful, and really wonderful. Because I put her down for a nap before, and she leaned toward her crib and when I put her in she played for a few minutes then went to sleep. Without a peep!

My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner and let her be so tired all the time.

I want to add to all the moms thinking about it that even when she cried herself to sleep, she still loves me and hugs me when I take her out in the morning! Her being mad at me was one of my fears.

That being said, CIO is not for everyone and if I didn't work full time and have her in daycare, I wouldn't have done it. I think it is a personal choice that every parent needs to make.

As for my comments about the other thread, there are nice ways to tell somebody you disagree with them and provide information you may think is helpful and there are evil ways.
Telling a parent they are giving their child PTSD is evil, IMHO.

I am attaching the picture that caused me to let my baby cry.

Image Attachment(s):

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

I don't know why but your story made me tear (I'm wierd)

I'm glad that everything worked out

Live and learn that is what life is about

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

Thank you for sharing your experience. I sorry you went through that.

I agree that telling someone that they are giving their child PTSD is an EVIL way to get your point across to another mom.


I am glad your DD is sleeping better.

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

Very well said!!
I think there is a time and place for everything and like you I was not a CIO mom but when no one is getting any sleep including your child you have to try something and I think there are loving, gentle ways to teach your child to sleep and it may involve some tears but they do still love you in the morning.
I didn't see the other post and while I do believe there is correlation to CIO and reactive attachment disorder I don't think applies to children past a certain age (JMO). Like you I had to hold DD almost all day for many months and she slept with us or in our room and finally something had to give but I wouldn't change a thing about those early months. It was what she needed and it was comforting to her. Some kids are great sleepers from day one and others have to be taught how to sleep. There is nothing wrong with that.
Way to go for knowing what your daughter needed and meeting her needs. You're a great mom for that.

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

she is beautiful Steph! If you need to talk...call me anytime!!

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

Message edited 1/12/2007 7:04:14 PM.

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

for everything you wrote - and did!!

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

she's adorable bags or no bags!!!

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

Wonderfully said...from a truly loving mother who would do anything for her DD even ensuring that she gets the sleep that their little bodies need so badly to grow....

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

That was beautiful, thank you for sharing your story.

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

Posted by MrsR

for everything you wrote - and did!!

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

Steph, I am so glad everything worked out for you guys. Jacob being mad at me was also a reason I waited so long to do it, and also letting my past control the present. (not to mention the vomiting)


But once i realized that I could modify the crying, as in rock him to sleep initially but not go in after that if he woke, things around my house got 110% better. Now if he wakes during the night and i dont go in, he cries for 5-10 min tops and he's back to sleep. He has been doing nights of 13 hours straight sleep and naps of 2 hours which was unheard of 2 months ago. You are so right in saying "its not about us", its really about them. Yes of course it hurts to hear them cry, what mother wouldnt be affected? But there is something so wonderful and yes even magical when they finally do fall asleep and better yet learn to sleep.

Jacob is so much more smiley now when he wakes up and that makes me soooooooooo happy!! I'm so glad that it all worked for out for you too..

Here's to you..
and many more sleep filled nights..

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

thanks for sharing that steph

I just see a gorgeous little girl, thats all

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

i'm glad everything worked out for you. I AM a CIO mom and believe me i stand outside thier doors crying myself but as an end result i have 3 kids, 8, 5, and 1 and they all go to bed at 8pm and are very well rested and in a great routine. i wouldn't change a thing! (btw, she's cute as ever)

Re: My 2 cents on CIO

You know I feel your pain, Stephanie. And I think we all do what we feel is the right thing at the moment. What else can we do?