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Holy mood change!!I have been feeling a bit craappy lately. I really think it is the weather.. cold, snow, rain and gray. We had to "spring ahead" this weekend and although losing that hour messed me up for a day or so- Now I have a taste of spring. Driving last night at 530p and seeing the sun still up, immediatley brightened my mood. There are a few more 50 degree+ days coming and I can't wait.
When 2009 was approaching I made this list of 'goals' for myself in the new year;1. Manage my $ properly2. Make an active savings account on my own3. Pay my bills and loans on time / early. Including trying to pay of my car loan.4. Loose a minimum of 40lbs.5. Save $ for the destination wedding we have in FL in october to attend.6. Plan a Vacation for DH and I for 2009.7. Possibility of career change or going back to school, looked into more.8. Do more things with my sisters / family.9. Take some classes in things that are crafty or join groups which I am intrested in.10. Cook at home more, and make my lunch for work instead of buying it out so often.So at 60+ days into the new year where do I stand?1. I am doing the best I can with money. I am managing it better! 2. Savings account was made. It has a very small amount of money it so far.3. I have almost ALL of my bills paid down. I owe $200.- total out. My car loan is paid on time but not more than what I am sopposed to.4. The weight thing isn't happening as fast as I wanted, but it is coming off 5. No money saved for wedding in FL. 6. No vacation planned, we decided to hold off for now, and use the money for other expenses.7. With the economy at the state it is in. I feel safer sticking where I am right now.8. I have been seeing my family more and trying to have dinner a few times a month with them 9. Joined an online book club and also a book club with friends where we will meet up. Also started taking Cake Decorating classes 10. I have been cooking at home a lot and eating lunch from left overs and bring it to work!
I went against what I believe in my last blog. I like to think positive and I have used my vents / blogs to work against me recently! I saw this sign near my car, outside of a shop in Greenport this weekend. I got the message and was going to post it on this blog and saw how I let my fustrations get the best of me last week on my last blog. I believe in the book "The Secret", and believe what you give out, you receieve back in life. So I want to replace my negative thoughts about owning a home and our joint income and realize that I can do more and receive more.
This is going to be short and sweet.DH and I do not have enough money in the bank to buy a home. I don't mean buy a condo out right. I mean.. a substantial down payment. We need to really get our acts together and start saving more while we can. We don't know when/If MIL is going to make FIL sell the house for her share.. so we need to get things rolling for us.
I have done it.. Joined a gym and have went. On my own. No strings attached. LOL.. no friends or family members promising to come with, because they want to get in shape too.. no 'pacts' about being a team. Just me. I have to say I have gone by myself and worked out and at my own pace and it feels good. I am sore today, I think I need to find a good pattern of what days to work on what part of the body. However there were some mishaps. Day 1 forgot my head band, so hair kept sticking to my face and in my eyes. Day 2 forgot my socks, LOL. I went straight from work so I had dress shoes on and didnt have socks on. But I worked out anyway. I don't want something silly like that to get in my way.I want to work at not being one of those people who start and never come back after 2 months. There was a thread posted about that on the D&F board I believe and it hurt me, because I realized it was true and that it has been me in the past. I would join and waste a ton of money by not going and being to embarrased to go.I watched the Biggest Loser season premire last night and realized that I weighed more than all those women on there 5 years ago. I know I have a lot to be proud of and I have accomplished a lot. However, it was 5 years in the making. It feels far away at this point. I need some new goals and challenges. I just hope that I am strong enough to push myself and really work at what / who I want to be.
Before the wedding I was losing weight. I heard it was because of stress and so much activity. It all plus 10 pounds has magically reappeared. I know what I have to do to get back on the right track. It is about commitment and goals. I wrote out a detailed list of New Years Resolutions, that I can accomplish with some effort and being aware of my decsions. They are all not weight related. There are goals with my marriage, lifestyle, weight, family, and finances. I have been disappointed looking in my bank account and in the mirror lately. However I am GLAD that I am aware that I need to make some changes, instead of being blissfully ignorant. DH wants to loose weight too. I think if we really pay attention and make the best of eating the right items and getting our butts to the gym we can. I also think by eating out less and saving that money our savings account will be happy too! It seems to be just about facing my priorities and being an adult and making the right choices for me and DH.
So for months I have been reading and seeing that there is a lot of lay off's businesses closing, houses going into foreclosure etc.. I haven't seen many of the effects of this time personally, because the last year has been rough with money because of savings for the wedding with DH and I, so I thought I was feeling the pinch but not for the same reasons as everyone else. But recently it really has come into perspective, for me at least. I knew about the bail outs and about major companies closing or filing bankrupcy, but it still seemed far off, and that it was not happening to me. That was untill this past week when I really began to notice all the boarded up homes in my town and how many small resturants and business are closing. Also hearing about people getting laid off is sad, but didnt seem real untill my Uncle was laid off and a friend was laid off too. It is also hitting closer to home, being that there were some people let go at my job now, and they have canceled the Holiday party and raises for the coming year. Now I realize how many business are effected and how many people this really means are being slowly changed by all of this. I am lucky that so far DH and I are ok, and currently are fincially stable, but it is making me nervous about the coming year. We are living in our apartment and getting by. But I am wondering if we have enough in savings and what do we need compared to want. I think after the Holidays we are going to have to really take a step back and make sure we are stable in these rough times.
So I went to Twisted Christmas at the Nokia Theather this past weekend. It was an interesting experience to say the least. There were so many people from so many walks of life. I did get some great pics from the show, since we were at floor level. DH had a great time,, I don't know that I would go again. But DH says he would want to go next year too.
Is not going to be hosted by Greg and I. Apparently we are going to one of my Uncle's homes, where his ex-wife and kids still live and still have Christmas together. I do not think that this is going to be fun. I know that DH and I will make the best of it, and hopefully it will go smoothly. But- I am as of now.. not looking forward to it.Decorating is at a stand still. We realize now that we do not have enough decorations for the tree,, since we went from a table top one to a 5 foot tree (which still looks small in the space it is in, to me). However a large picture was hung over the couch last night and some more organizing has done a lot for our place. I love it compared to the much smaller place we were in last year.We are expecting to see some proofs or unedited photo's from the photographer soon. I am nervous.. because Greg and I do not remember taking many pictures ALONE. We had some issues getting the family pictures done and it was a bit hectic. So we will see. But on the other hand- We received the video trailer and it is phenominal!! I can not wait to see more. I think that won't be ready till June though.
So Greg and I are getting comfty in our new place. We did some decorating yesterday and plan on finishing up today and tomorrow. We had Thanksgiving Dinner at his Aunt's house and it was nice. But I am a bit troubled by all the craziness that is my family lately. My 2 uncles are both going through a divorce right now. My Grandma has had surgery on her wrist a few weeks ago and can not do a lot of things that she usually could. And her and my Mom are arguing. It seems like the holidays are not going to be the same as they usually are. So with that- I was thinking of hosting dinner for Christmas at our home. I don't know if it would work out, or if I am insane for doing it so close to right after the wedding and with everyone else's 'issues' but I want my family to have a nice holiday and don't know any other way to do it.
I am 4 days away from the wedding and I am feeling GOOD.My mom and I are fine. Well as good as could be, with not all of my family being as friendly as they could. But I have no doubt in my mind that the wedding will be fine.I voted this morning at 6:28am. It felt good. This is the 3rd presidential election I have voted in, and I am glad that I did it this morning.I have to say I was impressed by how many people were out at the polls this morning at 6am. It is nice to see people with their children, and showing them what it is all about.
With 10 days till the wedding things are going smoothly, except for arguing with my own mom. I am so sad about this that it has all but paralized my mind in the past 3 days.She is arguing with my grandma and her 2 brothers and my attempts to tell her that I do not want to be involved have gone unheard. I don't want to have this issue with her right now. She and I should be enjoying getting her daughter ready for the wedding.I think I am going to try and write her a letter telling her how I feel today. She isn't listening and if that is the case then maybe reading that I want her to be involved, just not to be a part of the arguement that she is having. The whole situation is breaking my heart.
There are 16 days until my wedding. I feel extremly busy. LOL I thought I was way a head of everything, but now it is catching up with me.There are little things to do. Nothing to crazy. My Bachelorette Party was this weekend and it was a blast. We took a train in to Manhatten and went to a NY Burger Co. then went to Porky's and had a great time.
Wow!! I let the week go by and I have not blogged at all.Amazing how these are now the 'journals' instead of the book you hid in your bedroom with the lock and key. If you think about it, all your emotions are out on display. Sometimes I think it is freeing and other times you could be getting yourself in a heep of trouble. LOLSo tomorrow is my Bachelorette Party. I am excited that 3 weeks till the wedding and for the party. However I am mad at some of my friends and other Bridal Party Members. One of my BM's just found out that she is Pregnant and her doctor told her she shouldnt be going to the city all night being that 'the baby is developing'. Now I am not a mom and don't know what is the facts of her and her doctors decsion, but I am disappointed she can't come, but I understand (same as what I told her). I told that to the 2 people I was with when I received the message. I then find out, that it was relayed to her that I was angry. Disappointment and Anger are two seperate things!I had to have a long conversation with her explaining that I am not the bad guy and understand her decsion. Some people should just keep their mouth shut.It is annoying to be in your late 20's and have to deal with high school B.S. because people jump to their own conclusions and ASSUME they know what you are thinking. LOL.. I have never been a quiet person and say whats on my mind.. I do not need other people to speak for me.On a brighter note, there is also my Fitting tomorrow! I am excited to get the dress on and see it all together! Then tomorrow night we are heading to NYC for the festivities! I do not know what that exactly will be, but I am happy to hang out with the girls who are coming! (4 of my bridesmaids)
When did this happen?When did my views change?I think I have really been affected by my friend who is vegan. He has been very patient with me and has answered a lot of questions and has not been pushy with me at all. Now I find my self in a new state of mind. I was more interested in what he believed, and didn't want to necessarily become a vegan, I just wanted to learn more.I was happy that I moved into a new place and had a bigger kitchen to cook in and i couldn't do it. I have been using it, and know I will continue to use it, but maybe in a diffrent way. I bought a chicken to make and thawed it and it is sitting in the fridge un-cooked. I was going to cook it yesterday and felt awful. I then took it out today and didn't want to cook or eat it. I made Pork chops last week and I think it might have been because it wasn't in the shape of an animal so I could. Although as I did eat it, I thought about what I have read and seen and was not hungry anymore.Then I started to think, I couldn't eat the wings that I purchased for the Rangers party on Saturday. At dinner with friends, I thought my chicken tasted odd when there was someone else at the table who had the same meal and loved it. Plus my Fiancee finished my chicken and said it was good. I know I have cut back on the meat that I have been eating, but I really do not think I can eat meat on a bone anymore. It doesn't feel right to me. I keep thinking about what I am consuming. I have been cutting back on my milk intake and trying to have more soy then regular. I don't know what else I am cutting out or back on. But one thing is for sure i can not eat it off the bone. It is actually making me sad. I can not say that I am planning on becoming a vegetarian or vegan, but I am thankful for learning what I have so far.
I am a content girl. Things are looking up and no speed bumps that I cant handle. 32 days till my wedding.I am relieved.
I am really excited to begin this weekend.The rangers start tomorrrow.. and that is always a release to watch the games and get out those aggressions!
Whooaaa!!This month FLEW by! I can not believe that I have about a month to go. I have 2 weddings coming up on the 10 then 11. It seems like there are not enough days to fit in everything I want to do. I have a detailed "to do" list so hopefully that will help me right along.
Almost Thanksgiving but not really!Last night my mom made a full thanksgiving dinner. I think she really wanted to have our family all together and a have some time together.There was some bad news but, we laughed and had a good time. I miss dinners like that. I feel like we almost never get to do that anymore.
Last night I stepped into a time machine and went back 20 years! I went to the Nassau Colisuem to see NKOTB! It was surreal seeing thousands of women in my age range decked out in 80's and 90's gear and NKOTB shirts and merchandise.The 4 of us made some drinks in the parking lot and 'pre-gamed' in the parking lot. It was so fun, and the weather was decent. The concert was high energy and entertaining. I spent most of the show dancing and out of my seat. I cant believe that I felt like i was a kid again. It was great. I would go again!!!