The Thanksgiving Meltdown: Tips for Choosing Where to Go

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By Rachel Derry
Staff Writer LIFamilies

With Thanksgiving now just a couple of weeks away, this may be a time of great stress in your relationship. Whether you’re just dating, newly married, or have been married for 10 years, odds are that your families are still playing tug of war when it comes to holiday gatherings. Thanksgiving is meant to be a time of family and thankfulness; not fighting and anxiety. Take a few minutes to re-evaluate and decide if there is a more peaceful decision for this year.

Talk about what you’re going to do long before either side of the family has time to ask. There is nothing worse than being pressured by an outside source! Before anyone else can put in their two sense, sit down as a couple and see what you've both been thinking about for the day. He may have the dire need to see his family for one reason or another, talk about it before you actually need to answer anyone else’s questions. Hopefully, if you give yourselves enough time to figure things all out, you should be able to do so with minimal stress.

Be fair when it comes to making your argument. Although it would be easiest to split your time equally between families, not everyone is lucky enough to be able to do that. See if you can stick to an alternating pattern of his family one year and yours the next. Of course you want to spend the holiday with your family, but so does he. Also, be sure that you both make exceptions when you feel it’s necessary. If you went to his family last year, but this year there are reasons why he’ll really wants to go (a new baby, a family loss, etc.) be accepting and make the exception. Know that in the future he’ll do the same for you!

When all is said and done, think about hosting the event yourself. You may not have before due to time or space limitations, but think about whether or not it is plausible for this year. In the end, it may be the best way for you both to win. Instead of splitting your Thanksgiving between two households, have both sides come to you. If you’re unsure about cooking or don’t have time to cook, consider catering. You don’t need formal seating in a dining room to share a meal with your loved one; a couple card tables and TV-dinner tables can go a long way.

Long Island Relationship Articles > The Thanksgiving Meltdown: Tips for Choosing Where to Go