Promise Keepers: Resolutions To Help Your Relationship Grow And Flourish

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

Every year we kick off the New Year by making promises to ourselves and to others, usually ones we somehow “fail” to keep. From personal improvement, to smarter job and career moves and choices, to the way we intend to handle our personal life and our relationships, we all plan to improve upon the past in some way, shape or form. And, according to experts, improving our lifestyle dynamic is essential for healthy (healthier) living, with relationships (since we all have undoubtedly heard that being happily united accounts for a happier, healthier and generally longer life), being among the most important to stick to. Lets face it, if we have the love, support and encouragement at home that we crave, it makes sticking to (most of) our other resolutions a lot “easier”.

So, before resolving to improve other areas of your life, you may want to resolve to spice up your love life and your relationship.

1. Pander To Your (Similar) Passions: While absence does make the heart grow fonder, couples also need to remember the flip side of that which is: “out of sight, out of mind”. So, while you “do” want to have interests of your own, and time apart, you’ll also want to discover the things you enjoy doing together which inevitably draw couples closer. While it may initially seem like “work” requiring a bit of effort and creativity, that’s all part of the fun and intrigue of finding your groove.

2. Get Physical: Not only at the gym (or outdoors) but indoors with your partner. In fact, according to experts, getting (physically) close to the ones you love is the best expression of love and desire. Change your routine and your approach from familiar almost “friendly” exchanges (a peck on the cheek or lips, a quick hug, etc) to more “erotic” exchanges. Experts further note that women need to be especially conscious about their behavior and demeanor. Because women are often the ones being approached (in society), they often “neglect” to approach their men, but, according to experts, making the first move is important for boosting his self worth, confidence, etc.

3. Refocus Your (Main) Focus: Sure giving you kids plenty of love and attention is essential for raising healthy and adjusted adults, but those already well into adulthood need love and attention too. Yes, that means you and your spouse. Most parents put so much emphasis on the family they often forget about themselves and their partner. Besides, according to experts, the best way to teach you kids about love, respect, and healthy relationships, is by having one yourself.

4. Take A Road Trip (To Your Future): Experts note that most couples wind up living “separate” lives “together”. Each strives toward different goals, with different objectives in mind for the future. They suggest, sitting down with you mate and evaluating where you are (both) headed. Discuss everything from where you want to live to your dream job (and perhaps how to attain it). Dream together and you’ll also build a stronger present and future together as well.

5. Maintain The “Mentality” Of “Singlehood”: Avoid becoming a statistic and getting caught up in the “marriage rut” where sweat pants and sneakers become the standard staple of your wardrobe. Take pride in your relationship and in yourself (just like you use to before you were married, striving to get excited over your mate and putting your best foot forward for him or her. Try to stay looking your best (after all that’s what initially attracted you to each other in the first place) and pay attention to yourself and your partner, just like you did “back in the day”.

6. Talk About “Taboo” Topics: Don’t be ashamed or afraid to whisper sweet nothings into your partner’s ears outside of the boudoir. Don’t be afraid to play “footsies” (discreetly) in public, or express your most intimate feelings and desires, and certainly don’t hesitate to spark his or her interest in some “privacy” during some “unorthodox” times or in some “unorthodox” places.

7. Show and Tell: Don’t just utter the words, but consider expressing your love through actions. Gestures go a long way, so keep you mate’s likes and dislikes in mind, and take the opportunity to show your “lover” how much he or she means to you by simply remembering something of importance or interest to him or her. It’s guaranteed to make his or her day, and ensure a smoother stride through the rough times.

8. Unwind and Unplug: Try not to “waste” too much time focusing on the lives of others, particularly you favorite characters on your favorite show. Experts note that the television “addiction” is a huge intruder when it comes to intimacy. Have a cut-off time for the tube or consider removing it from the bedroom all-together. Make your bedroom a place for private time for you and your partner sans any interruptions.

9. Stop Keeping Tabs: Instead of keeping score of who did or did NOT do what, when and how often, you may want to shift your focus on what your partner has done “right” with regards to pleasing you and for the relationship. And, experts suggest doing treating the other person right because it’s the right thing to do, and because the only person’s behavior you’re responsible for is your own.

10. Resolve To Reach Resolutions Together: Start each New Year by uniting with your mate and creating mutually meaningful and acceptable resolutions. Above all, experts suggest focusing on growth and away from blame and finger pointing.