Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

I'm friendly with a mom from DS's preschool. DS and her DD have started K but we each have a younger DD (who are the same age). We arranged a playdate for the little girls to get together at a park.

I knew this mom had some health issues that kept her from driving. I always have tried to accommodate her by meeting her at parks of her choice. Usually, her mom will drop her off.

Last night, she texts me. Her mom is busy and can't drive her to meet us. She wants to know if I can pick her and her DD up. I told her that would be tricky because my DS is a high back booster (too big for her DD). I suggested picking another day (it's a casual playdate).

She wrote back, suggested I take out my DS's booster and put her DD's car seat in. I thought this was a little nervy to ask.

I told her I didn't feel comfortable removing and having to re-install the booster (DS's seat still uses the LATCH teethers and they can kind of PITA).

I would have met her at her house but she never suggested that.

Any urgent situation, I would have done it, no problem. I just think it was kind of a weird thing to ask.

Hope this makes sense!

Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

I think so. I would never ask another mom to pick me up for a playdate. but that's just me. It would be a red flag for me that I might want to steer clear of this person in general. Sounds like if you pick her up once, you might get asked all the time.

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

Message edited 9/16/2015 1:50:39 PM.

Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

I guess I've never been without a car so perhaps I would be less understanding in that regard. So, maybe I shouldn't jump to conclusions about that. The car seat thing would annoy me though, and some people can get heated about their car seat safety.

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

I think it was fine for her to ask if you would be willing to pick her up, but for her to suggest to swap out car seats was a little pushy.

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

Posted by bella321

Posted by busymomonli

Sounds like if you pick her up once, you might get asked all the time.

Thanks for all your responses. I think this is what I'm most concerned about. She hasn't been driving for a while (maybe a year?) and I'm concerned that getting together with her would mean I would do all the driving/ car seat arranging.

I don't mean to sound uncharitable but this is more effort than I'm looking to put into a 2 year old play date.

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

I don't think it was pushy and I would have picked her up. But I'm pretty confident in my car seat abilities If I didn't feel secure properly installing the seat back later I might feel differently.

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

Totally nervy.

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

Please don't jump to conclusions. My daughter is visually impaired, but to anyone who doesn't really know her she seems 100% like everyone else. The reality is that she will not be allowed to drive. (Hopefully, with scientific advances she will have other options when the time comes.) Not saying that this is the issue with the mom you are talking about, but don't write her off because of it. Be honest- tell her it is a pain with the car seats and offer to come to her house or reschedule.

Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

I don't think it's pushy at all. You said your son's seat wasn't appropriate, so she offered a feasible alternative. Also, when I hear "high back booster" I assume it comes in and out of the car easily (MOST are just placed in the car with no installation required). I'd cut her some slack. It must be really difficult not being able to get around on her own!

Message edited 9/16/2015 10:53:30 PM.

Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

I really don't find it pushy. My son is in a high back booster with the latch and it is VERY simple to take in and out of the car and does not require any kind of "installation". So, she probably didn't think it would be a big deal.

How did she respond when you told her you weren't ok with what she suggested?

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

Not a big deal at all. I have high back boosters with latch and they are really easy to take in and out. I do it all the time.

I have the same scenario.. friendly with DC's classmate's mother who doesn't drive. I always offer to pick her up and move around car seats to accommodate her kids. I guess I just view it as something I would hope someone would do for me if I didn't drive. Our kids have a great time playing together and to me its worth it to deal with the minor inconvenience.

I'm sure she just didn't want to disappoint her DD and was trying to come up with solutions to keep the play date.

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

This is tricky. It isn't something I would expect someone to ask but if she has health issues she might be a little desperate to get out of the house.

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

I've taken my car seats in & out a ton of times.
It may be slightly annoying, but really, it's no huge deal.
I don't think it is pushy... But there may be other things that she's done that made this pushy for you.

Re: Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

Posted by nferrandi

I don't think it was pushy and I would have picked her up. But I'm pretty confident in my car seat abilities If I didn't feel secure properly installing the seat back later I might feel differently.

Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

IMO Asking for the ride is not pushy at all-- assuming she lives close by... Asking to swap seats- I would be annoyed bc to be honest, I really don't know how to install and uninstall the car seats in my car!!

Is this pushy for another Mom to ask

I think asking to switch the seats was pushy because you had already suggested rescheduling the play date. To me, that would have meant you weren't up for picking me up.