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Large (future) expenses for your kids

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patti08
Happy

Member since 5/05

3893 total posts

Name:
Patti

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

DD is an only child.

We plan to provide her with a car to use while she is in school and until she is established in a career. We plan to have her pay a nominal rent if she wants to live at home after college (she has to be employed). That money will be kept to give her as a surprise towards a down payment on home someday. (As DH's parents did.)

We plan to pay for her college. We hope for scholarships and grants and if we have to WE will take a loan for her under-grad degree. Graduate work she will have to cover unless we are in the financial position to provide it easily.

We plan to contribute $10K to her wedding expenses and buy her dress as our parents did. More, if we are in a position to do so but not to foot the whole bill.

We hope to be able to give her money toward a down payment and or to furnish rooms when she has her own home but our retirement is important too so it will depend on our position.

Posted 8/2/12 1:59 PM
 
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myboysmyheart
LIF Adult

Member since 1/12

2743 total posts

Name:
K

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Posted by CouponKT

My parents held their own financially, but they told us early on that we were on our own for cars, college and the wedding.

Yes, they helped here and there where they could, but we did not get a free ride on any of those events.

My husbands parents did the same for him.

We plan to do the same for our kids.




This exactly.

Posted 8/2/12 2:12 PM
 

Waste06
Waste not, want not

Member since 6/06

7219 total posts

Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

My son is only 3 years old. I expect our financial situation to change many times before then.

If I have the money saved, then all the better for him and for us. There will never be a free ride for him, whether we could afford it or not.

I would love to be able to contribute to my children's milestones as much as possible, and be a support system for when they need it.

However, more importantly, I never want to become a burden to my children and look to them to provide for ME in my old age.

Posted 8/2/12 2:12 PM
 

anonymoususer
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

3393 total posts

Name:

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Posted by Pray4Baby2010

If I am in the financial position to do so and my kid is a good hard working adult that I am proud of- I would do all that and more!



ditto

Posted 8/2/12 2:14 PM
 

mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!

Member since 3/09

8585 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Posted by Pray4Baby2010

If I am in the financial position to do so and my kid is a good hard working adult that I am proud of- I would do all that and more!

same for me! I pray I can help my girls with all of those things! That is how I was raised as well.

Posted 8/2/12 2:15 PM
 

TreAnt427
-

Member since 8/06

8652 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

My parents did not totally pay for those large expenses, but they did help out.

I paid for half of my first car.

I paid for my own books in college.

They gave us a certain amount towards our wedding and helped out with smaller things here and there.

Only when we came up short on our house DP did they offer to help out.

We were on our own for smaller things like paying our own cell phone bill, etc. My mom took me to get a checking account as soon as I was of age.

I plan to help out my kids as much as I can, DD already has an account that gift money goes into now and I plan on adding to once she is out of daycare and we have more expendable cash Chat Icon I will decide later on, what I will give her the money towards.

Posted 8/2/12 2:21 PM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Large (future) expenses for your kids

I was very lucky and my parents were able to pay for my undergrad and got me a car. But I paid for my wedding and I have student loans for law school.

We have started a savings account for DS's education and everythign else we will see where we are financially when the time comes.

Posted 8/2/12 2:29 PM
 

babyfever08
Love my babies!

Member since 11/08

3938 total posts

Name:
Antonella

Large (future) expenses for your kids

Finances are hard to predict so far in advance. We have started saving for DS's future, and will continue to do so. However, I want him to learn the value of a dollar. My parents have helped me along the way, and have been so grateful for that. But I started to tutor in the 8th grade, and bought my first pair of sneakers. It meant so much to me that I did that on my own. It was my first solo purchase, and I still remember it to this day.

Dh and I paid for most of our wedding (our parents split the catering hall) and we bought our first home before we got married. Yes we struggled and still struggle to this day, but we really learned so much from this experience.

Posted 8/2/12 2:30 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Posted by Ophelia

but I am not telling my son about ANY of these monetary windfalls. he is going to go through life thinking he has to bust his ass for what he gets. and be presently surprised when he is rewarded with more than he bargained for, I hope.



I plan on doing this as well. My son has a college fund, ideally we would pay for his college education. If we have the means we would also help him purchase a house, car, pay for a wedding etc. Our money is our sons money in my mind and whatever I have is/will be for him (provided we are covering our living expenses of course so he has no burden on him to pay our way in the future)

Message edited 8/2/2012 2:34:21 PM.

Posted 8/2/12 2:32 PM
 

greenybeans
:)

Member since 8/06

6435 total posts

Name:

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I hope to help them as much as I can, within reason.

Posted 8/2/12 2:35 PM
 

BBin2012
Full heart!

Member since 8/11

1835 total posts

Name:
Ka

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Posted by KD718

I will do anything I can to help with my children's education (provided they are dedicated to it) so they do not start their careers with huge amounts of debt. However, I think some student loans are good and teach responsibility.

As for the rest (cars, weddings, etc.), I don't think about it or plan for it. If I have smart, responsible children and the means I will help where I can.



ITA!

Posted 8/2/12 3:12 PM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

17789 total posts

Name:

Large (future) expenses for your kids

I plan on doing as much as I can to help them - just as my parents did and my ILs did as well.

One thing to point out though - sometimes, after grants and such, private schools are cheaper than NY's state schools. I went to a private school because after grant/scholarship money, it was cheaper for me to go so than to go to a NY state school.

Posted 8/2/12 3:24 PM
 

mamabear
LIF Adult

Member since 3/08

4539 total posts

Name:

Large (future) expenses for your kids

I tell myself that I do not HAVE to pay for these things. If I can, without taking out a second mortgage or cashing out a retirement plan, I would love to. But I'm not saying to myself that I have to pay for these things. Sometimes when I have said I'd like a third child, people have said to me, that's 3 college educations you'll have to pay for. While I would like to pay for their college, I don't want to not have a kid because I might not be able to pay for college. KWIM? I mean, I'd rather be alive with a student loan, than never having been born. But, at the same time, I will try to contribute as much as I can, especially with living expenses in college because I don't want them to have to work while in school.

The one thing on the list that I really do want to pay for is their first car. I'd like my girls to share a safe car when they get their license. And I don't want them working in high school. I'd rather they be involved with extra curricular activies and/or internships, etc. Not working for something unrelated to what they want to do so that they can have a car and gas money.

Posted 8/2/12 3:40 PM
 

Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/12

809 total posts

Name:

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

To the extent that we are financially able to do so we will help our children out as much as we can.

My parents were fortunate to be in a great financial position, so they purchased a brand new car for me, paid for all of college and some of law school, they paid for half of our wedding (we wanted to pay for part of it ourselves), and they contributed about $40k towards a down payment.

I was very fortunate and if I am blessed to have the same means, then I will do the same or my children to the extent they deserve it. I was a very good kid, got stellar grades, never got in trouble etc., I went to a great private university and law school and graduated at the top of my class. I may have a little bit of a shopping problem Chat Icon But other than that I have never been entitled and always grateful.

If my children are good kids and hard workers, I will do all that and more if I am able to.

I do not believe that having your parents help you out if they can means that you do not appreciate things or don't work hard.

Posted 8/2/12 3:50 PM
 

KPsquared

Member since 5/05

4663 total posts

Name:

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Posted by Pray4Baby2010

If I am in the financial position to do so and my kid is a good hard working adult that I am proud of- I would do all that and more!



Same here. We have an account set up for her since she was two months old that we have automatic investment set up for so she will have a nice amount when it comes time for college.

Posted 8/2/12 4:33 PM
 

hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true

Member since 2/10

2695 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Posted by Pray4Baby2010

If I am in the financial position to do so and my kid is a good hard working adult that I am proud of- I would do all that and more!



Same!

Posted 8/2/12 5:45 PM
 

Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy

Member since 3/08

10420 total posts

Name:
Momx100

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

We plan to pay for their college and grad school. We will probably get them a reasonable car during school.

After they graduate from school, they are on their own!

Posted 8/2/12 6:05 PM
 

sarahbelle
Little drummer boy

Member since 5/05

2377 total posts

Name:
Sarah

Large (future) expenses for your kids

I bought my own car, paid my way through undergrad and grad school and paid for my own wedding. My kids will likely have the same future.

Posted 8/2/12 6:10 PM
 

whoababy11
it's only forever

Member since 11/10

1598 total posts

Name:

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

we will 100% pay for our children to go to college. IMO, that is part of a parent's responsibility if they can afford to do so, of course. i also plan to help my children with their weddings. car i am not so sure about.

Posted 8/2/12 7:40 PM
 

bella321
Blessed!

Member since 3/09

1952 total posts

Name:
Kristy

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

My parents told my brother and I that money was always tight and we were on our own for cars, college and a house.

Ultimately, they had plenty put aside. We were so grateful. I hope DH and I can surprise DC with that kind of generosity.Chat Icon

Message edited 8/2/2012 7:44:47 PM.

Posted 8/2/12 7:44 PM
 

clmj2
cant believe hes gone

Member since 3/07

4407 total posts

Name:
Candice

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

we will see what the future brings. i doubt i will need to help DD with things, but never say never.
my parents paid for 100% of everything until i was 21 and moved out on my own. i am grateful to this day for that.

Posted 8/2/12 8:22 PM
 

SandL
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/12

541 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I paid for my own college (undergrad and grad), cars, and my own wedding.
We also just purchased our own house, with help from no one. My parents were never in a financial position to help me. My husband was pretty much raised the same way, with the exception of getting a used car which his parents got him. Because of this, we have had to work and pay for everything we own, and would like to instill this in our son, but at the same time, I would like to help him. So I doubt I will provide all of these things for him 100%, but I will help him with these expenses.

Posted 8/2/12 8:56 PM
 

Naturalmama
Love my boys!!

Member since 1/12

3548 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

DH and I will pay for 4 years of college, grad school they will be on their own. As for a car, we will match whatever DS, and any future children, are able to save from after school jobs, birthdays, holidays, etc. Wedding- if we ever have a DD, we will pay for her dress. For DS we will maybe help pay for the honeymoon. Other then that, they, along with their fiances, will have to do what they can afford.

Posted 8/2/12 10:38 PM
 

maybebaby
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

6870 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

We'll do the best we can...and they will be grateful for whatever that is! Lol.

I refuse to be someone who does without their entire life so we can cover every penny of college. To me there is nothing wrong with a child taking loans or working to help pay for college. But if we have the means to help, of course we will. Its just not something I feel we NEED to do.

I didn't have much paid for and I didn't care in the least. I'm still paying college loans off and its perfectly fine by me. My mom did whatever she could to help and I was so appreciate of it. I never had a car, took out most college loans..my dad did pay for my wedding reception but not because I expected it...he offered. Which i hope to do in the future to ease some of the financial burden of a wedding.

Posted 8/2/12 10:44 PM
 

Jax430
Hi!

Member since 5/05

18919 total posts

Name:
Jackie

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

We hope to be able to pay for our children's educations and weddings, as our parents did for us. I want them to start life debt free, as we did. We are truly lucky, and I would like to be able to minimize financial stress for my children as they start their adult lives. This doesn't mean that I won't expect them to work to earn money for other things that they want.

Posted 8/2/12 10:51 PM
 
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