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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by evrythng4areason
As an aside, aren't there Jewish holidays every weekend in September this year? I realize its Yom Kippur, but the other days would also be a holiday
I think the point is that it's the holiest of days. It's a very solemn day.
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Posted 7/22/13 1:17 PM  |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by evrythng4areason
As an aside, aren't there Jewish holidays every weekend in September this year? I realize its Yom Kippur, but the other days would also be a holiday
Rosh Hashanah is on a Thursday and Friday this year, as are Sukkot and Simchat Torah. Yes, there are a lot of Jewish holidays in September, but in all honesty, the majority of Jews don't observe the later two as strictly as Yom Kippur. That is the holiest day, and the one that most Jews, no matter how non-practicing the rest of the year, tend to observe to some extent (not everyone, of course).
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:21 PM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Maybe the home owners association doesn't realize that the date they chose is Yom Kippur? Perhaps you should start out by bringing this to their attention. They honestly may not know and may be able to change it at this early stage.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:22 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
I don't believe this post was written to debate Jews vs non Jews. She was just looking for opinions, but the more I thought of it I do think it's wrong to have the "block" party on the holiest of Jewish holidays. It does exclude the Jewish families. A family who goes on vacation or has something that day is one thing. A family celebrating their religion so can't join is another. The date should never of been an option.
I respect all holidays and do understand that Xmas and Easter are not about candy and presents. I have celebrated both with Catholic friends.
My point is that the day is about going back and forth to temple, praying, fasting to atone for our sins, etc. Having a block party on Hanukah is one thing. It's not a super religious holiday and doesn't keep the family from celebrating with neighbors. It's a playful holiday.
We are reformed Jews and spend most of the day in temple.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:22 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
I think Paramount's choice of words about the Christian holidays being about games and candy, may have been poorly worded. I think that the point that she might have been trying to make (I'm not sure) is that they are days for celebration and gathering with family, and there aren't restrictions like there are for Yom Kippur. A block party wouldn't be as offensive on those days as on Yom Kippur (not that anyone would ever plan one during Christmas or Easer anyhow).
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:23 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by evrythng4areason
As an aside, aren't there Jewish holidays every weekend in September this year? I realize its Yom Kippur, but the other days would also be a holiday
I think the point is that it's the holiest of days. It's a very solemn day.
Yes it is just about the entire month.
5-6, 14, 19-20, 26, 27.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:24 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by Paramount
To most Christians, it SEEMS that X-Mas and Easter are a time for fun and joy and games and candy and family. (Please correct me if I am wrong). It would not be offensive if the Jewish neighbors had a party. YOUR holidays are (mostly) not about quiet reflection.
Would it be rude for me to go into a church and blare my IPOD with gangster rap? Or my loud music? Why should I stop listening to my ipod? Should I have to stop my life for the church?
So blasting music, albeit OUTSIDE someone home, it’s greatly disresespectful during this very holy day.
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I have to disagree. You cannot compare blasing music in a Church to having a party on the street, on the block. Your home, you can do what you want. However, the block is not your home, it's public property. The block isn't a place of religious worship such as a church or temple. And you are referring to the commerical aspect of the holidays, which many non Christians celebrate as well. But for those who truly are religious, the holidays are not just fun and games.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:25 PM |
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MrsDeVito
Gio's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 7/09 4671 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by Jax430
I think Paramount's choice of words about the Christian holidays being about games and candy, may have been poorly worded. I think that the point that she might have been trying to make (I'm not sure) is that they are days for celebration and gathering with family, and there aren't restrictions like there are for Yom Kippur. A block party wouldn't be as offensive on those days as on Yom Kippur (not that anyone would ever plan one during Christmas or Easer anyhow).
I don't think it's fair to say that bc one religions most important holidays are joyous and another's are solemn one deserves more respect and that's what I'm getting from this. That it's disrespectful to have a block party on the most important Jewish holiday but not on the most important Christian/Catholic holiday.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:27 PM |
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MrsDeVito
Gio's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 7/09 4671 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Paramount
To most Christians, it SEEMS that X-Mas and Easter are a time for fun and joy and games and candy and family. (Please correct me if I am wrong). It would not be offensive if the Jewish neighbors had a party. YOUR holidays are (mostly) not about quiet reflection.
Would it be rude for me to go into a church and blare my IPOD with gangster rap? Or my loud music? Why should I stop listening to my ipod? Should I have to stop my life for the church?
So blasting music, albeit OUTSIDE someone home, it’s greatly disresespectful during this very holy day.
.
I have to disagree. You cannot compare blasing music in a Church to having a party on the street, on the block. Your home, you can do what you want. However, the block is not your home, it's public property. The block isn't a place of religious worship such as a church or temple. And you are referring to the commerical aspect of the holidays, which many non Christians celebrate as well. But for those who truly are religious, the holidays are not just fun and games.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:28 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
It doesn't matter whether the blcok is a place of worship. It doesn't even really matter whether Jews hear celebrating on that day while in their homes.
What matters is that the organizers are in effect saying "The neighborhood will be getting together on x date. Jews--don't bother."
They might not mean to say it, but they are.
Imagine sending that message to any other minority group?
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:28 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by MrsDeVito
Posted by Jax430
I think Paramount's choice of words about the Christian holidays being about games and candy, may have been poorly worded. I think that the point that she might have been trying to make (I'm not sure) is that they are days for celebration and gathering with family, and there aren't restrictions like there are for Yom Kippur. A block party wouldn't be as offensive on those days as on Yom Kippur (not that anyone would ever plan one during Christmas or Easer anyhow).
I don't think it's fair to say that bc one religions most important holidays are joyous and another's are solemn one deserves more respect and that's what I'm getting from this. That it's disrespectful to have a block party on the most important Jewish holiday but not on the most important Christian/Catholic holiday.
No, that's not at all what I meant, and I' sorry if it came across that way. It's just that a lot of people (not all) said that they wouldn't mind if there was a block party on Easter Sunday, so I was trying to make a distinction about why those who observe Yom Kippur might feel differently than those who observe Easter, based on how the holidays are celebrated/observed.
FTR, I think it's disrespectful to have it on either day!
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:29 PM |
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MrsDeVito
Gio's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 7/09 4671 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by seaside
It doesn't matter whether the blcok is a place of worship. It doesn't even really matter whether Jews hear celebrating on that day while in their homes.
What matters is that the organizers are in effect saying "The neighborhood will be getting together on x date. Jews--don't bother."
They might not mean to say it, but they are.
Imagine sending that message to any other minority group?
I don't think that's what was said I think a vote was taken and that was the day that worked for the majority.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:30 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Paramount
To most Christians, it SEEMS that X-Mas and Easter are a time for fun and joy and games and candy and family. (Please correct me if I am wrong). It would not be offensive if the Jewish neighbors had a party. YOUR holidays are (mostly) not about quiet reflection.
Would it be rude for me to go into a church and blare my IPOD with gangster rap? Or my loud music? Why should I stop listening to my ipod? Should I have to stop my life for the church?
So blasting music, albeit OUTSIDE someone home, it’s greatly disresespectful during this very holy day.
.
I have to disagree. You cannot compare blasing music in a Church to having a party on the street, on the block. Your home, you can do what you want. However, the block is not your home, it's public property. The block isn't a place of religious worship such as a church or temple. And you are referring to the commerical aspect of the holidays, which many non Christians celebrate as well. But for those who truly are religious, the holidays are not just fun and games.
Your comparasions were poorly chosen.
The commercial aspect of Christmas and Easter for many are just the smallest defination of what these holidays truly are about.
What you do inside your home is one thing, what happens past your property lines is free reign...
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:30 PM |
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Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
perhaps the individuals picking the date don't think they're super religious. don't assume it's all about segregating and being mean spirited.
perhaps OP - inform them that you are practicing a very holy holiday that you need peace and that you will be having family over. If they disrespect that, then there is an issue of being insensitive. I mean there are so many levels of people practicing religion, you can't expect everyone to know what level you are.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:33 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by seaside
It doesn't matter whether the blcok is a place of worship. It doesn't even really matter whether Jews hear celebrating on that day while in their homes.
What matters is that the organizers are in effect saying "The neighborhood will be getting together on x date. Jews--don't bother."
They might not mean to say it, but they are.
Imagine sending that message to any other minority group?
This is a very bf statement to make
Ate we sure the neighbors picked the date or did the town say these r the only two dates u could do the block party
Do they even know the religion of he neighbors
Do they know of they are practicing
Soapy what ifs should be addressed. Before basically saying we know but do not care
I am not saying it is right I am just saying before anyone assumes the worst
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:33 PM |
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Jacksmommy
My love muffin!
Member since 1/07 5819 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by MrsDeVito
Posted by Jax430
I think Paramount's choice of words about the Christian holidays being about games and candy, may have been poorly worded. I think that the point that she might have been trying to make (I'm not sure) is that they are days for celebration and gathering with family, and there aren't restrictions like there are for Yom Kippur. A block party wouldn't be as offensive on those days as on Yom Kippur (not that anyone would ever plan one during Christmas or Easer anyhow).
I don't think it's fair to say that bc one religions most important holidays are joyous and another's are solemn one deserves more respect and that's what I'm getting from this. That it's disrespectful to have a block party on the most important Jewish holiday but not on the most important Christian/Catholic holiday.
I would venture to say that it is extremely disrespectful to have a block party on EITHER holiday, but, like I said originally, no one would ever plan it on a Christian/Catholic holiday because the majority celebrates it in some form!
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:34 PM |
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MikesBride
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 1245 total posts
Name:
Ilana
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Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
I'm actually disgusted at some of the responses on this thread. People really don't understand what it's like to live as a Jew in this country. The ignorance of many Christians to Jewish customs leads to outright discrimination (whether intentional or not). This is just another example. 'Well, there's only a couple of Jews, so we'll just have it anyway.' 'You shouldn't be offended, they can't accomodate EVERYONE.' The attitude that we are just supposed to lay down and take it and not be upset or make a fuss because we are a minority is incredibly offensive. I would never suggest planning something on Good Friday, Easter Sunday, OR Christmas. Is it too much to ask that our SINGLE, HOLIEST DAY be respected?
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:34 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by MrsDeVito
Posted by seaside
It doesn't matter whether the blcok is a place of worship. It doesn't even really matter whether Jews hear celebrating on that day while in their homes.
What matters is that the organizers are in effect saying "The neighborhood will be getting together on x date. Jews--don't bother."
They might not mean to say it, but they are.
Imagine sending that message to any other minority group?
I don't think that's what was said I think a vote was taken and that was the day that worked for the majority.
I hear you, but a majority can decide on any restriction or stipulation, and that doesn't mean that the effect is not discriminatory. It may or may not have been intentional, but the result here is to exclude Jews AS A GROUP, and so it is discriminatory and sends a terrible message. Discrimination can come from ignorance or animus--or both--but the OP should not have been told not to  when she realized that she could not attend because she is Jewish, and no other Jew really can either.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:34 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by MrsDeVito
Posted by seaside
It doesn't matter whether the blcok is a place of worship. It doesn't even really matter whether Jews hear celebrating on that day while in their homes.
What matters is that the organizers are in effect saying "The neighborhood will be getting together on x date. Jews--don't bother."
They might not mean to say it, but they are.
Imagine sending that message to any other minority group?
I don't think that's what was said I think a vote was taken and that was the day that worked for the majority.
I think the point is that date should've never even been a choice. By giving that date as an option it is excluding the Jewish families.
No, not everyone knows what date is the holiest of holidays for the Jews, but the person who gave the option should've looked into it.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:34 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
That was supposed to be bold not bf
I have no idea how I turned this into breast feeding lol
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:35 PM |
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MrsDeVito
Gio's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 7/09 4671 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by gina409
Posted by seaside
It doesn't matter whether the blcok is a place of worship. It doesn't even really matter whether Jews hear celebrating on that day while in their homes.
What matters is that the organizers are in effect saying "The neighborhood will be getting together on x date. Jews--don't bother."
They might not mean to say it, but they are.
Imagine sending that message to any other minority group?
This is a very bf statement to make
Ate we sure the neighbors picked the date or did the town say these r the only two dates u could do the block party
Do they even know the religion of he neighbors
Do they know of they are practicing
Soapy what ifs should be addressed. Before basically saying we know but do not care
I am not saying it is right I am just saying before anyone assumes the worst
I agree maybe they don't even realize its a holiday. I may be wrong but don't the actual dates change every year for the Jewish holidays?
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:36 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by gina409
Posted by seaside
It doesn't matter whether the blcok is a place of worship. It doesn't even really matter whether Jews hear celebrating on that day while in their homes.
What matters is that the organizers are in effect saying "The neighborhood will be getting together on x date. Jews--don't bother."
They might not mean to say it, but they are.
Imagine sending that message to any other minority group?
This is a very bf statement to make
Ate we sure the neighbors picked the date or did the town say these r the only two dates u could do the block party
Do they even know the religion of he neighbors
Do they know of they are practicing
Soapy what ifs should be addressed. Before basically saying we know but do not care
I am not saying it is right I am just saying before anyone assumes the worst
I think you're minsunderstanding what I have said. I am the one who wrote this:
"There are two possibilities here. One is that her neigbors don't realize that they are pretty much excluding all Jews from attending, in which case this is a misunderstanding and innocent. Or they do. And then THEY'RE "those" neighbors."
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:37 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by EricaAlt
Posted by MrsDeVito
Posted by seaside
It doesn't matter whether the blcok is a place of worship. It doesn't even really matter whether Jews hear celebrating on that day while in their homes.
What matters is that the organizers are in effect saying "The neighborhood will be getting together on x date. Jews--don't bother."
They might not mean to say it, but they are.
Imagine sending that message to any other minority group?
I don't think that's what was said I think a vote was taken and that was the day that worked for the majority.
I think the point is that date should've never even been a choice. By giving that date as an option it is excluding the Jewish families.
No, not everyone knows what date is the holiest of holidays for the Jews, but the person who gave the option should've looked into it.
Exactly, and in the original post, the OP said that she let them know that when she voted on the date. It should have been taken off the table at that point.
To the OP, you didn't expect such drama, did you?!
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:37 PM |
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Jacksmommy
My love muffin!
Member since 1/07 5819 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by Nifheim
perhaps the individuals picking the date don't think they're super religious. don't assume it's all about segregating and being mean spirited.
perhaps OP - inform them that you are practicing a very holy holiday that you need peace and that you will be having family over. If they disrespect that, then there is an issue of being insensitive. I mean there are so many levels of people practicing religion, you can't expect everyone to know what level you are.
As I said in the OP I DID send them an email when they gave us the two choices. I basically said "Hi, I am not sure if you are aware, Yom Kippur is an extremely religious Jewish holiday. I would not be able to participate this day and would hope that this isn't the date chosen." It was disregarded and THAT is what made me want to refuse to sign.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:37 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Would I be a really nasty neighbor?
Posted by MrsDeVito
Posted by gina409
Trying to figure out how to respond to as you put it my holidays being about games and candy.......
I find that more offensive than a block party
I think the point that poster was trying to make was that they're not solemn holidays like, say, Good Friday is, which is true, they're most certainly not.
I think the games and candy thing came into play because lets face it, both holidays have become incredibly commercialized and if you're not well versed in Christianity you could think they're "fluff" holidays, which they aren't.
As for the block party sitch, I think you're well within your rights to not sign.
If I had to guess they chose Yom Kippur weekend because the kids will have off so it's a three day weekend whereas the other weekend is a regular two day weekend, this makes it easier to still have your weekend and not lose that day to do stuff.
Having said that, whether it's right or wrong, I do happen to agree with those who said something along the line of "don't be that neighbor", and the ONLY reason I say this is because of the politics of the entire situation. You have to live side by side with these people and keeping the peace is probably the best route to take.
Does it suck?
Absolutely!
But I'd probably sign (even though you're TOTALLY not obligated to) and just move on. Perhaps you could ask that your guest be allowed to get to your house a little early and be allowed to park by your house? I don't know if that's possible. Like I know on my parent's street, on part of the block has the party but their part doesn't partake but because there are a couple ways in it doesn't really affect them.
Anyway, it's a crappy situation and I think if you were to sign off on it, I'd suggest adding a note stating that you're disappointed in not being able to partake but you just can't because this is such a high holy day of obligation.
Message edited 7/22/2013 1:45:29 PM.
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| Posted 7/22/13 1:37 PM |
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