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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by saraH
While I get what you are saying, I need to add my two cents.
I have a 21 month old and I work p/t. While one of my co-workers was out on maternity leave, I offered to work extra hours to help out. I worked an extra 2 nights a week, 6 nights in total for about 3 months.
So while I didn't enjoy working almost every night, I knew it was for DD and that is was only temporary.
So while it did suck that you had to cancel plans, it happens everywhere to all of us.
sorry but this is not the same at all...you OFFERED to work the extra hours...you werent told you had to work the hours because you dont have children....that is the difference....
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Posted 6/28/09 11:58 AM  |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by Lisa
Posted by saraH
While I get what you are saying, I need to add my two cents.
I have a 21 month old and I work p/t. While one of my co-workers was out on maternity leave, I offered to work extra hours to help out. I worked an extra 2 nights a week, 6 nights in total for about 3 months.
So while I didn't enjoy working almost every night, I knew it was for DD and that is was only temporary.
So while it did suck that you had to cancel plans, it happens everywhere to all of us.
sorry but this is not the same at all...you OFFERED to work the extra hours...you werent told you had to work the hours because you dont have children....that is the difference....
I was offering the other side of it. People with and without kids work and miss plans. It's not unique to people without kids.
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| Posted 6/28/09 12:11 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by saraH
Posted by Lisa
Posted by saraH
While I get what you are saying, I need to add my two cents.
I have a 21 month old and I work p/t. While one of my co-workers was out on maternity leave, I offered to work extra hours to help out. I worked an extra 2 nights a week, 6 nights in total for about 3 months.
So while I didn't enjoy working almost every night, I knew it was for DD and that is was only temporary.
So while it did suck that you had to cancel plans, it happens everywhere to all of us.
sorry but this is not the same at all...you OFFERED to work the extra hours...you werent told you had to work the hours because you dont have children....that is the difference....
I was offering the other side of it. People with and without kids work and miss plans. It's not unique to people without kids.
you did not offer "the other side of it". what you said above is a completely different situation.
no one forced you to work more than your co-workers or showed favoritism to your co-workers JUST because they have kids and you don't.
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| Posted 6/28/09 12:18 PM |
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by saraH
Posted by Lisa
Posted by saraH
While I get what you are saying, I need to add my two cents.
I have a 21 month old and I work p/t. While one of my co-workers was out on maternity leave, I offered to work extra hours to help out. I worked an extra 2 nights a week, 6 nights in total for about 3 months.
So while I didn't enjoy working almost every night, I knew it was for DD and that is was only temporary.
So while it did suck that you had to cancel plans, it happens everywhere to all of us.
sorry but this is not the same at all...you OFFERED to work the extra hours...you werent told you had to work the hours because you dont have children....that is the difference....
I was offering the other side of it. People with and without kids work and miss plans. It's not unique to people without kids.
Still missing the point here...you OFFERED to work extra hours, you weren't TOLD or EXPECTED to exclusively because you are childless, which is what happened to the OP. Two VERY different scenarios IMO.
Message edited 6/28/2009 12:20:30 PM.
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| Posted 6/28/09 12:19 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: work issues for those without children
I never said I was forced to work. I said I offered to work, to help out.
I don't get what the problem is with what I said. I don't think it's that different.
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| Posted 6/28/09 12:27 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by saraH
I never said I was forced to work. I said I offered to work, to help out.
This is the difference.
You OFFERED to help out. You were not told you have to come in and to hell with your personal life with the assumption that you dont have one because you don't have children. That's where the frustration comes in.
Message edited 6/28/2009 12:34:04 PM.
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| Posted 6/28/09 12:32 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by Christine
Posted by saraH
I never said I was forced to work. I said I offered to work, to help out.
This is the difference.
You OFFERED to help out. You were not told you have to come in and to hell with your personal life with the assumption that you dont have one because you don't have children. That's where the frustration comes in.
Ah-ha. I see. Not being snarky at all, but totally see what you are saying.
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| Posted 6/28/09 12:35 PM |
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by saraH
Ah-ha. I see. Not being snarky at all, but totally see what you are saying.
But that is what was being said from the very beginning. Someone was imposed upon, forced to cancel plans due to the fact that they were childless and co-workers were not.
If you feel compelled to read and post on the childless family board and have children, please read the entire thread before you decided to comment. It is very frustrating for us to try and have a conversation about how things affect us, as childless families, only to be told we are wrong or that everyone has to deal with the same issues we do. That simply isn't the case in some situations.
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| Posted 6/28/09 12:47 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by BaseballWidow
Posted by saraH
Ah-ha. I see. Not being snarky at all, but totally see what you are saying.
But that is what was being said from the very beginning. Someone was imposed upon, forced to cancel plans due to the fact that they were childless and co-workers were not.
If you feel compelled to read and post on the childless family board and have children, please read the entire thread before you decided to comment. It is very frustrating for us to try and have a conversation about how things affect us, as childless families, only to be told we are wrong or that everyone has to deal with the same issues we do. That simply isn't the case in some situations.
I'm sorry you feel this way, but I never said that the OP was wrong to feel the way she did. I understand it's frustrating when that happens, but that was not my intention.
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| Posted 6/28/09 12:51 PM |
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deedee1013
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/07 616 total posts
Name:
Diane
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by BaseballWidow
Posted by saraH
Ah-ha. I see. Not being snarky at all, but totally see what you are saying.
But that is what was being said from the very beginning. Someone was imposed upon, forced to cancel plans due to the fact that they were childless and co-workers were not.
If you feel compelled to read and post on the childless family board and have children, please read the entire thread before you decided to comment. It is very frustrating for us to try and have a conversation about how things affect us, as childless families, only to be told we are wrong or that everyone has to deal with the same issues we do. That simply isn't the case in some situations.
I totally agree with you. People who have children cannot understand what we go through.
They have no right to tell us that our feelings are wrong concerning certain situations.
There was a saying about "walk a mile in my shoes".
Yes...for those people with children who are reading this thread...we haven't "walked a mile in your shoes" either.
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| Posted 6/28/09 2:17 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: work issues for those without children
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| Posted 6/28/09 4:02 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: work issues for those without children
ITA with the OP.
When I was younger and not married, I worked in a restaurant. There were some holidays we had to work such as Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. If you had children, you automatically got off, then if were married you got off. Since I didn't fit into any of those categories, I never had off these holidays. I used to always argue every year saying what about my family and was told well you don't have kids yet.
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| Posted 6/28/09 8:02 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by klingklang77
ITA with the OP.
When I was younger and not married, I worked in a restaurant. There were some holidays we had to work such as Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. If you had children, you automatically got off, then if were married you got off. Since I didn't fit into any of those categories, I never had off these holidays. I used to always argue every year saying what about my family and was told well you don't have kids yet.
omg i NEVER undersrood this at my old job. They would let the parents go home for holidays and I would have to stay. But I always tried to explain to them: "See how you think XYZ should be with her child? I AM THAT CHILD to my parents!" Doesn't make any sense.
I work for the government now and no one cares why you are taking off as long as you have the time to take off
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| Posted 6/29/09 7:36 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by deedee1013
I totally agree with you. People who have children cannot understand what we go through.
They have no right to tell us that our feelings are wrong concerning certain situations.
There was a saying about "walk a mile in my shoes".
Yes...for those people with children who are reading this thread...we haven't "walked a mile in your shoes" either.
Just to be fair, I'm pretty sure that all of us with DC did spend some time childless... 
I mentioned that I've noticed the discrepancy with parents in my job now, and I was on the receiving end of the "Well, you don't have kids, so you can go on travel" before DC. I agree that it's not fair.
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| Posted 6/29/09 8:06 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by GoldenRod
Just to be fair, I'm pretty sure that all of us with DC did spend some time childless...
We are all aware of that, but honestly that argument just doesn't fly with me for several reasons, not all of which I care to get into. Your aren't childless now. I don't post on the newlyweds board because I used to be a newlywed. I assume if they want advice from someone who has been married longer, they'd post on Relationships or NFR. If I want to have a discussion with childless people and ask for that specifically on the childless families board, then I think we all know I'm talking about people who are currently childless. Additionally, that argument comes off as condescending and patronizing sometimes, whether you mean it that way or not. It comes off a lot of the time as "well, we used to be childless, so even though we're wiser now that we have kids, we certainly know what you're going through. We just have a much broader perspective now." If I wanted that broader perspective, I wouldn't post on the CF board and ask the question specifically of childless posters.
This board was created separate and apart from NFR, Relationships, Parenting, etc. for a reason -- for childless families to have a place to post. Certainly anyone is free to post on any board they want -- but you have to understand that parents posting on the CF board, on a thread where someone is specifically asking a question of childless posters are going to get some eye rolls from us childless posters. Maybe you really don't understand why it's so important to us to sometimes be able to relate only to each other -- but that in and of itself should be illustrative of some of the fundamental differences between parents and us non-parents. Honestly, sometimes we just want to be able to relate just to each other, as childless individuals, and it's becoming increasing clear that we cannot do that on this board. Even when someone expressly asks for opinions of childless people on a thread, that isn't respected. This board is not and never has been respected as a place for childless families to post, even when someone expressly asks for the opinions of childless people.
This is why I stopped posting anything of substance on this board a while back. Posting anything of substance here continues to be an exercise in frustration. I thought this stuff had died down, but apparently it hasn't. I'm just not going to waste my time anymore, seeing as no one seems to respect when childless posters only want to have a discussion amongst ourselves. I guess next time, I'll just keep it to FM.
And yes, you can all post wherever you want and justify it however you want... but the fact of the matter remains that this is a continuing frustration for a lot of us childless posters. I just do not get why, no matter who asks, no matter what the topic, we just cannot seem to have our own little corner of this board to relate to each other - or even one THREAD. I post enough on NFR and Relationships and other boards that, if I wanted a broader perspective, I'd post there.
This was me giving this board another shot now that the drama over its inception has died down... It's seriously starting to look like a lot of parents on this board just do not want a childless families board here or at least don't want us to think we can post freely here and relate only to one another.
I'll be sticking to only the "weekend plans" and "getting to know ___" posts on this board from now on.
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| Posted 6/29/09 9:43 AM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: work issues for those without children
Thank you KAra for writing what a bunch of us have been feeling.
Its sad really that some people on this board aren't happy unless they butt their noses in to everyone else's business....
Guess we will never be able to post what we want on this board....maybe we can find another place that ACCEPTS childless families and we don't have to hear how we are wrong all the time....
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| Posted 6/29/09 10:46 AM |
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MrsM-6-7-08
<3
Member since 8/06 4249 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: work issues for those without children
yes thank you Kara for writing that post.
This board will never be accepted, and it sucks.
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| Posted 6/29/09 11:05 AM |
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Lucky2008
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1005 total posts
Name:
Chris
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Re: work issues for those without children
Very well written...I couldn't agree with you more.
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| Posted 6/29/09 11:17 AM |
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Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: work issues for those without children
i am posting on this thread because it happened again today!
Two weeks ago it was my child is sick (one week off), then this week is camp only runs from x time to x time so I have to come in late and leave early. So for me this means, getting YOUR projects done and spending more of my time worrying about your stuff.
I am sorry if i ever have a kid I hope to god that i don't abuse any situation with taking off. I understand if a child is sick you need to stay home, but offer to work at home (you can do this), if there is babysitting issues work them out don't leave work or come in late because you have a kid and get PAID for it? How about I get to leave early or come in a half hour late all summer long.
The same parents do the same thing over and over again. The few "normal" parents work and have kids and do their job and don't take accessible time off.
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| Posted 6/29/09 12:55 PM |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by Lisa
Guess we will never be able to post what we want on this board....maybe we can find another place that ACCEPTS childless families and we don't have to hear how we are wrong all the time....
I wonder if there is a message board out there devoted COMPLETELY to childless couples. A judgement free zone if you will...
That might be something I want to look into...
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| Posted 6/29/09 1:03 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Lisa
Guess we will never be able to post what we want on this board....maybe we can find another place that ACCEPTS childless families and we don't have to hear how we are wrong all the time....
I wonder if there is a message board out there devoted COMPLETELY to childless couples. A judgement free zone if you will...
That might be something I want to look into...
I run a horse-related message board through yuku. I've been considering starting one for childless famillies, too... but haven't gotten around to it. (FTR - this isn't a business I run or anything like that. It's a free service, and I actually PAY to run the board so we have an upgraded membership.)
Message edited 6/29/2009 1:11:00 PM.
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| Posted 6/29/09 1:08 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: work issues for those without children
I have no children and when I worked in corporate America - I got a lot of perks too. At least I think I did.
Maybe I just didn't realize when people were abusing the "I have kids" excuse. Maybe it's because I didn't really care. I don't ever worry about what everyone else is doing. I worry about my job, my actions, etc. I don't whine that so-and-so took off early b/c of their kids and I get asked to work late.
I mean I would hope that if extenuating circumstances arose - I would get the time off I needed.
When DH and I bought our house - we did MAJOR construction on it - we gave the contractors the key - they came and went as they pleased. Once our home was in order - we changed the locks and scheduled everything AROUND work.
If I needed to take a day off - I put in for it.
I'm sorry - I just don't understand the complaints about other people taking off. Maybe it's because now I own my own business and I HATE the grade-school mentality of "Jane did this, why can't I do that?" I'm a broken record with saying "worry about yourself."
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| Posted 6/29/09 2:12 PM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: work issues for those without children
At my current job vacation time for key weeks is determined by seniority which is totally reasonable
However at a previous job we had a situation where parents with less seniority were give priority for xmas week off because "they would be celebrating with their kids and after all its a kid's holiday"
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| Posted 6/29/09 2:12 PM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by Jenn627
I have no children and when I worked in corporate America - I got a lot of perks too. At least I think I did.
Maybe I just didn't realize when people were abusing the "I have kids" excuse. Maybe it's because I didn't really care. I don't ever worry about what everyone else is doing. I worry about my job, my actions, etc. I don't whine that so-and-so took off early b/c of their kids and I get asked to work late.
I mean I would hope that if extenuating circumstances arose - I would get the time off I needed.
When DH and I bought our house - we did MAJOR construction on it - we gave the contractors the key - they came and went as they pleased. Once our home was in order - we changed the locks and scheduled everything AROUND work.
If I needed to take a day off - I put in for it.
I'm sorry - I just don't understand the complaints about other people taking off. Maybe it's because now I own my own business and I HATE the grade-school mentality of "Jane did this, why can't I do that?" I'm a broken record with saying "worry about yourself."
You don't understand how someone can be annyoed at missing Father's Day with their father because they had to work to cover for a co-worker with kids?
You don't see how people can get annoyed at coming in and working 8-6 while others work 10-4 because of their kids while getting the same pay and benefits?
Really?
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| Posted 6/29/09 2:14 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: work issues for those without children
Posted by annoyedTTCer
You don't understand how someone can be annyoed at missing Father's Day with their father because they had to work to cover for a co-worker with kids?
You don't see how people can get annoyed at coming in and working 8-6 while others work 10-4 because of their kids while getting the same pay and benefits?
Really?
No, I can't see it. I've missed holidays as I am sure have parents.
Maybe the person working 10-4 has a strong work ethic and turns out 10 hrs of quality work in a 6 hour day. Maybe they've been a stellar employee for 20 yrs and so instead of a promotion, they get decreased hours, maybe they are sleeping with the boss and get to do whatever they want. Bottom line - I don't care what anyone else is doing.
Life isn't fair.
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| Posted 6/29/09 2:22 PM |
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