Re: Well, another family member bites the dust

Your brother is in the wrong....it is not fair for you to shoulder all this on your own

Re: Well, another family member bites the dust

your brother is being selfish.

you are such a great person for taking care of your dad the way your are.

Re: Well, another family member bites the dust

I wouldn't let it go too long if you know that he is likely to hold this grudge for a long time. I'm not saying that I think he is right, he is absolutely wrong, I just don't think you need the added stress of fighting with your brother right now. Perhaps you can suggest other things he can do that would take some stuff off of your plate. Maybe when he comes to visit your dad he could run him out for a few errands?

I know you've posted in the past about strained relations with your Mom. His story makes no sense. Do you think that after he told you he would do it he s/w your Mom and she laid on the guilt real thick? Just a thought...

Re: Well, another family member bites the dust

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by Kate07

Posted by Blu-ize

you need to call your brother on this. He needs to take some responsibility.

I agree

Here is my perspective... i have 3 of those brothers and they're almost useless. Almost nothing will change that. But what you can say to him is... since helping out is too much, than you can at least put in money to have someone help dad a few hours a week.

Have you called senior services yet? Medicaid? Medicare? I seriously would because most places have something in place for any help that you might need. Some may be more temporary help, but it's a start. We have someone come to my mothers 2 times a week for 4 hours a day to bath her, do her laundry, help her clean, or whatever she needs. It's $15 an hour and it's set up through At Home Services. I would call around your town and see what he may be eligible for and if nothing, than tell your brother he has to chip in to get the extra help that he's not providing!

Re: Well, another family member bites the dust

Re: Well, another family member bites the dust

Re: Well, another family member bites the dust

As someone who takes care of a parent (although she's currently staying at my sister's) I understand your frustration and the fact that you're so emotional. It's HARD!! And it sucks that you don't have support.

But I just want to play Devil's Advocate here...I'm not sure where you live or how far it is for your brother to get to you from his house, but if he goes in to work at 3pm, there may not be enough time to drive to your house, pick up your dad, take him to the appointments, drop him off at your house and drive back to work...this is assuming that he leaves his house in the am "dressed" for work. He's a man, he probably doesn't have a good concept of time, or how this will happen.

However, if none of the above will apply and he's just being a jerk just to be a jerk, maybe see if you can get non-family help. A home health aide comes to mind. Being that you have to prepare all meals for you dad, is he really OK to live by himself?

I know my mom can't...and I do everything for her.

Again, I'm sorry. I guess this is what happens when the kids grow up...and the parent's health fails.