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Re: They/Them
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by b2b777
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
Thank you.
The posts that said they wouldn't cater to the "very very very few people" -- what if your child, your friend, your family was one of those very very very few? You don't know until it is you going through it. I am not dealing with this personally but have family members with other differences and until I had to live it I would have never understood what the impacts of judgement really are. I saw on facebook that a little boy, 12 years old took his own life. How do you know what impacted that decision? What makes one reason any better or worse than another?
Yesterday was National Kindness Day. I spoke to my kids about the importance of always being kind -- whether it makes them comfortable or not.
"Yesterday was National Kindness Day. I spoke to my kids about the importance of always being kind -- whether it makes them comfortable or not."
Many should follow this as I can tell you the things people on this board who claim they are kind and teach their kids too have said some doozies on here.
100% Do as you preach. Some here don't
Nope they do not. Here is a snippit of a post on this board.
"The majority of people I know who are hardcore Trump supporters who think he can do no wrong are, how shall I put this??.........................................not the brightest bulbs in the box. You know the type, in all the low classes in HS and barely graduated, no college education, ignorant and racist as hell buuuuuuuuuttttttt now they are all political experts and historians. I cringe when most of them open their mouth, they sound like idiots."
Outside of the board is NO different...
"She is always the first to insult , and call people idiots , and stuff like that"
Last I heard, this was not kind and compassionate against everyone. 
The difference is you expect others to treat you better then you are willing to treat them.
If you lived by the golden rule, you would be treated the same.
But you are somewhat arrogant insomuch as that you think that your insults and threats are so clever and veiled that other posters can't see if for what it is. But it is seen and you are treated exactly as you have treated others on this board.
What does this post have ANYTHING to do with me? It wasn't towards me at all.
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Posted 2/18/22 11:12 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Off topic, but I find it so odd that a person who claims to be so busy working, socializing and emptying her precious dishwasher has such an abundance of time EVERY SINGLE DAY to spend scouring old posts and going out of her way to psycho stalk and obsess over strangers on a forum. Such odd and unhealthy behavior.
But back to the topic, simply refer to people by whatever name, pronoun or other designation they request. I don't even understand the resistance to all of this, it isn't a hill worth dying on.
Nice trying to divert the attention off of things you have said while you claim you are so kind and compassionate and teach your children the same. Even your friends agree soooooo.......
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:15 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
You're so right. I think it's definitely a grieving process. While every parent only wants the best for their children there are circumstances where it might take a little more time to come to terms with the new reality of who your kid is or is becoming. That's ok though, it's a normal progression to go through. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your child any less or that you don't want the best for them, sometimes it just takes a minute to shift your thinking from "what should be" to "what actually is".
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:17 AM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Off topic, but I find it so odd that a person who claims to be so busy working, socializing and emptying her precious dishwasher has such an abundance of time EVERY SINGLE DAY to spend scouring old posts and going out of her way to psycho stalk and obsess over strangers on a forum. Such odd and unhealthy behavior.
But back to the topic, simply refer to people by whatever name, pronoun or other designation they request. I don't even understand the resistance to all of this, it isn't a hill worth dying on.
Nice trying to divert the attention off of things you have said while you claim you are so kind and compassionate and teach your children the same. Even your friends agree soooooo.......
*sipping on a tea cup*
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:18 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
That poem is actually about having a special needs child, not about having a child with a different gender or sexuality that what you perceived. Missing a limb is a very bad analogy. This is about your child being able to live comfortably in their true identity. I guess it's because my only hopes and dreams for my child are that they are happy, nothing more. I don't hope they go to college, or get married, have children, have wealth etc. I hope they do whatever it is that makes them happiest and if that means they are living as a gender that is not the one they were born that's fine by me. I just think it's a waste of time to have your hopes and dreams pinned on how you think your child should be.
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:21 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by b2b777
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
Thank you.
The posts that said they wouldn't cater to the "very very very few people" -- what if your child, your friend, your family was one of those very very very few? You don't know until it is you going through it. I am not dealing with this personally but have family members with other differences and until I had to live it I would have never understood what the impacts of judgement really are. I saw on facebook that a little boy, 12 years old took his own life. How do you know what impacted that decision? What makes one reason any better or worse than another?
Yesterday was National Kindness Day. I spoke to my kids about the importance of always being kind -- whether it makes them comfortable or not.
"Yesterday was National Kindness Day. I spoke to my kids about the importance of always being kind -- whether it makes them comfortable or not."
Many should follow this as I can tell you the things people on this board who claim they are kind and teach their kids too have said some doozies on here.
100% Do as you preach. Some here don't
Nope they do not. Here is a snippit of a post on this board.
"The majority of people I know who are hardcore Trump supporters who think he can do no wrong are, how shall I put this??.........................................not the brightest bulbs in the box. You know the type, in all the low classes in HS and barely graduated, no college education, ignorant and racist as hell buuuuuuuuuttttttt now they are all political experts and historians. I cringe when most of them open their mouth, they sound like idiots."
Outside of the board is NO different...
"She is always the first to insult , and call people idiots , and stuff like that"
Last I heard, this was not kind and compassionate against everyone.
The difference is you expect others to treat you better then you are willing to treat them.
If you lived by the golden rule, you would be treated the same.
But you are somewhat arrogant insomuch as that you think that your insults and threats are so clever and veiled that other posters can't see if for what it is. But it is seen and you are treated exactly as you have treated others on this board.
Thank you.
Except for a few, everyone sees windy for what she is on these boards. An antagonistic, passive aggressive, insulting, sh1t stirrer. She can dish it out but plays the victim card when it's thrown back at her.
It's pathetic.
This forum, what's left of it, has become nothing more than windy's little circus. It's why hardly anyone is left on here and there are few discussions of interest anymore. It's a shame how one person has managed to drag down what was left of this site.
Actually if you have followed this thread, most of us agree with treating people well. There are some who tried to twist things and say otherwise.
The funny part is the ones that come on here over and over and claim how nice they are but then turn on a dime on their friends IRL and strangers online. BUT...that is ok.
Keeping with the topic. Let people live the way they want and respect them. EVERY.ONE. Not just the ones that you pick and choose.
You are NOT a good person if you are picking and choosing.
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:22 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
So then you will stop using pronouns? 
What a way to make someone feel even more awkward. They are hyper aware of this already. That person will surely catch on and will probably say “I see you seem to have a problem deciding what pronoun to use with me. Just use ‘they.’” And you’ll say no?
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:24 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
You're so right. I think it's definitely a grieving process. While every parent only wants the best for their children there are circumstances where it might take a little more time to come to terms with the new reality of who your kid is or is becoming. That's ok though, it's a normal progression to go through. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your child any less or that you don't want the best for them, sometimes it just takes a minute to shift your thinking from "what should be" to "what actually is".
I guess I don't have a "what should be." I never have. Even when my son was born my MIL was trying to get me to relate to how disappointed she was that her son married a non jew by asking me how I would feel if he brought home a girl with a different ethnicity. Besides being appalled at how completely and utterly racist she was I said I wouldn't care if he brought home a man who was a different ethnicity. I don't care. at all.
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:26 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
You're so right. I think it's definitely a grieving process. While every parent only wants the best for their children there are circumstances where it might take a little more time to come to terms with the new reality of who your kid is or is becoming. That's ok though, it's a normal progression to go through. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your child any less or that you don't want the best for them, sometimes it just takes a minute to shift your thinking from "what should be" to "what actually is".
I guess I don't have a "what should be." I never have. Even when my son was born my MIL was trying to get me to relate to how disappointed she was that her son married a non jew by asking me how I would feel if he brought home a girl with a different ethnicity. Besides being appalled at how completely and utterly racist she was I said I wouldn't care if he brought home a man who was a different ethnicity. I don't care. at all.
The grieving process for parents with regards to things not turning out how you expect is more for real life changing circumstances, not something like you're describing. For example, imagine that the daughter you birthed and raised wishes to now identify as a male. That is a tough one. Of course, any decent parent will continue to love and support that child regardless but I get how it might take some time for a parent to process all of that. It's a lot.
I don't think a parent needs to go through any type of grieving process if their son or daughter brought someone home of a different skin color, ethnicity, religion, etc. If they do, that person might need to look inward to fix all of that racism and hate inside of them.
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:35 AM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
So then you will stop using pronouns?
What a way to make someone feel even more awkward. They are hyper aware of this already. That person will surely catch on and will probably say “I see you seem to have a problem deciding what pronoun to use with me. Just use ‘they.’” And you’ll say no?
Girl bye. I have more experience in this world with actual family and close friends being apart of this community and sharing the same thoughts.
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:38 AM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4430 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: They/Them
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
You're so right. I think it's definitely a grieving process. While every parent only wants the best for their children there are circumstances where it might take a little more time to come to terms with the new reality of who your kid is or is becoming. That's ok though, it's a normal progression to go through. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your child any less or that you don't want the best for them, sometimes it just takes a minute to shift your thinking from "what should be" to "what actually is".
I guess I don't have a "what should be." I never have. Even when my son was born my MIL was trying to get me to relate to how disappointed she was that her son married a non jew by asking me how I would feel if he brought home a girl with a different ethnicity. Besides being appalled at how completely and utterly racist she was I said I wouldn't care if he brought home a man who was a different ethnicity. I don't care. at all.
It is a grieving process for parents and they need to work out how to move on going forward. These feelings are nothing new and parents with children that have special needs have been going through it for years. Every time a "new" social issue comes up, people think that the whole world should bend for them and immediately be accepting but unfortunately the world is not like that. Not in the least bit. I don't walk around insisting people list on their Instagram page that they are neurotypical or not because my daughter is autistic and I don't have that right. I feel bad for those children who really are struggling with their identity because from what I have seen in the schools, most of the kids are just doing it to be cool and to be part of the new trend. We had a 10 year old come out and say he was pansexual. WTF, they don't even know about sex or life yet. You want to use a different pronoun, go for it but it doesn't have to be pushed down everyone's throats day in and day out and taught at school in assemblies or clubs especially when half the children are still children and do not have the developmental capability yet even to truly understand what they are saying/doing.
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:40 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
|
Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
So then you will stop using pronouns?
What a way to make someone feel even more awkward. They are hyper aware of this already. That person will surely catch on and will probably say “I see you seem to have a problem deciding what pronoun to use with me. Just use ‘they.’” And you’ll say no?
Girl bye. I have more experience in this world with actual family and close friends being apart of this community and sharing the same thoughts.
I asked if you were going to stop using pronouns, lol. And you come out with “I’m more woke than you” lol. I don’t care how many people you know, blah blah. If someone wants you to use the pronoun of their choice, then use it. Or would you come out with my trans friends say, blah, blah? Maybe your friends don’t want you to use ‘they’. Who gives a $hit? Other people prefer certain things.
Toodles!
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:52 AM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
|
Re: They/Them
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
So then you will stop using pronouns?
What a way to make someone feel even more awkward. They are hyper aware of this already. That person will surely catch on and will probably say “I see you seem to have a problem deciding what pronoun to use with me. Just use ‘they.’” And you’ll say no?
Girl bye. I have more experience in this world with actual family and close friends being apart of this community and sharing the same thoughts.
I asked if you were going to stop using pronouns, lol. And you come out with “I’m more woke than you” lol. I don’t care how many people you know, blah blah. If someone wants you to use the pronoun of their choice, then use it. Or would you come out with my trans friends say, blah, blah? Maybe your friends don’t want you to use ‘they’. Who gives a $hit? Other people prefer certain things.
Toodles!
If your name is Simone, I will call you Simone. Now go kick rocks
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| Posted 2/18/22 11:56 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
So then you will stop using pronouns?
What a way to make someone feel even more awkward. They are hyper aware of this already. That person will surely catch on and will probably say “I see you seem to have a problem deciding what pronoun to use with me. Just use ‘they.’” And you’ll say no?
Girl bye. I have more experience in this world with actual family and close friends being apart of this community and sharing the same thoughts.
I asked if you were going to stop using pronouns, lol. And you come out with “I’m more woke than you” lol. I don’t care how many people you know, blah blah. If someone wants you to use the pronoun of their choice, then use it. Or would you come out with my trans friends say, blah, blah? Maybe your friends don’t want you to use ‘they’. Who gives a $hit? Other people prefer certain things.
Toodles!
If your name is Simone, I will call you Simone. Now go kick rocks
OMG why is this so difficult?????
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:04 PM |
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|
klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
|
Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
So then you will stop using pronouns?
What a way to make someone feel even more awkward. They are hyper aware of this already. That person will surely catch on and will probably say “I see you seem to have a problem deciding what pronoun to use with me. Just use ‘they.’” And you’ll say no?
Girl bye. I have more experience in this world with actual family and close friends being apart of this community and sharing the same thoughts.
I asked if you were going to stop using pronouns, lol. And you come out with “I’m more woke than you” lol. I don’t care how many people you know, blah blah. If someone wants you to use the pronoun of their choice, then use it. Or would you come out with my trans friends say, blah, blah? Maybe your friends don’t want you to use ‘they’. Who gives a $hit? Other people prefer certain things.
Toodles!
If your name is Simone, I will call you Simone. Now go kick rocks
I asked a question. I find it pretty dumb that if you and Simone went out with a group of friends and you will keep referring to them to your other friends repeatedly using Simone when they have asked you to please use ‘they’ kind of insensitive. But what would you expect from someone who said ‘go kick rocks’
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:06 PM |
| |
|
klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
|
Re: They/Them
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
So then you will stop using pronouns?
What a way to make someone feel even more awkward. They are hyper aware of this already. That person will surely catch on and will probably say “I see you seem to have a problem deciding what pronoun to use with me. Just use ‘they.’” And you’ll say no?
Girl bye. I have more experience in this world with actual family and close friends being apart of this community and sharing the same thoughts.
I asked if you were going to stop using pronouns, lol. And you come out with “I’m more woke than you” lol. I don’t care how many people you know, blah blah. If someone wants you to use the pronoun of their choice, then use it. Or would you come out with my trans friends say, blah, blah? Maybe your friends don’t want you to use ‘they’. Who gives a $hit? Other people prefer certain things.
Toodles!
If your name is Simone, I will call you Simone. Now go kick rocks
OMG why is this so difficult?????
Why is it so difficult to use the pronoun if they asked you to call them ‘they’? Why is that so hard?
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:08 PM |
| |
|
MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
|
Re: They/Them
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
So then you will stop using pronouns?
What a way to make someone feel even more awkward. They are hyper aware of this already. That person will surely catch on and will probably say “I see you seem to have a problem deciding what pronoun to use with me. Just use ‘they.’” And you’ll say no?
Girl bye. I have more experience in this world with actual family and close friends being apart of this community and sharing the same thoughts.
I asked if you were going to stop using pronouns, lol. And you come out with “I’m more woke than you” lol. I don’t care how many people you know, blah blah. If someone wants you to use the pronoun of their choice, then use it. Or would you come out with my trans friends say, blah, blah? Maybe your friends don’t want you to use ‘they’. Who gives a $hit? Other people prefer certain things.
Toodles!
If your name is Simone, I will call you Simone. Now go kick rocks
OMG why is this so difficult?????
Why is it so difficult to use the pronoun if they asked you to call them ‘they’? Why is that so hard?
Your name Lisa, I will Call you Lisa. Although, you specifically I call by another name.
Next time be KIND, and ask me if I care about your opinion doll
Message edited 2/18/2022 12:11:09 PM.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:10 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
You're so right. I think it's definitely a grieving process. While every parent only wants the best for their children there are circumstances where it might take a little more time to come to terms with the new reality of who your kid is or is becoming. That's ok though, it's a normal progression to go through. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your child any less or that you don't want the best for them, sometimes it just takes a minute to shift your thinking from "what should be" to "what actually is".
I guess I don't have a "what should be." I never have. Even when my son was born my MIL was trying to get me to relate to how disappointed she was that her son married a non jew by asking me how I would feel if he brought home a girl with a different ethnicity. Besides being appalled at how completely and utterly racist she was I said I wouldn't care if he brought home a man who was a different ethnicity. I don't care. at all.
The grieving process for parents with regards to things not turning out how you expect is more for real life changing circumstances, not something like you're describing. For example, imagine that the daughter you birthed and raised wishes to now identify as a male. That is a tough one. Of course, any decent parent will continue to love and support that child regardless but I get how it might take some time for a parent to process all of that. It's a lot.
I don't think a parent needs to go through any type of grieving process if their son or daughter brought someone home of a different skin color, ethnicity, religion, etc. If they do, that person might need to look inward to fix all of that racism and hate inside of them.
I would not care if my daughter wanted to identify as a male as long as that is what made him happy. I do not care. There would be no grieving process for me. My child is still alive, the same person he always was. If you are a certain religion and your child decides they no longer want to practice the religion you raised them are you going to grieve? I don't know - if my kid is happy and healthy that is legitimately all I care about. I would grieve if they died and I would be upset if they were ill. I am not saying all parents would or should be like me but that is how I am.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:18 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
You're so right. I think it's definitely a grieving process. While every parent only wants the best for their children there are circumstances where it might take a little more time to come to terms with the new reality of who your kid is or is becoming. That's ok though, it's a normal progression to go through. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your child any less or that you don't want the best for them, sometimes it just takes a minute to shift your thinking from "what should be" to "what actually is".
I guess I don't have a "what should be." I never have. Even when my son was born my MIL was trying to get me to relate to how disappointed she was that her son married a non jew by asking me how I would feel if he brought home a girl with a different ethnicity. Besides being appalled at how completely and utterly racist she was I said I wouldn't care if he brought home a man who was a different ethnicity. I don't care. at all.
It is a grieving process for parents and they need to work out how to move on going forward. These feelings are nothing new and parents with children that have special needs have been going through it for years. Every time a "new" social issue comes up, people think that the whole world should bend for them and immediately be accepting but unfortunately the world is not like that. Not in the least bit. I don't walk around insisting people list on their Instagram page that they are neurotypical or not because my daughter is autistic and I don't have that right. I feel bad for those children who really are struggling with their identity because from what I have seen in the schools, most of the kids are just doing it to be cool and to be part of the new trend. We had a 10 year old come out and say he was pansexual. WTF, they don't even know about sex or life yet. You want to use a different pronoun, go for it but it doesn't have to be pushed down everyone's throats day in and day out and taught at school in assemblies or clubs especially when half the children are still children and do not have the developmental capability yet even to truly understand what they are saying/doing.
I also know a ten year old that came out as pansexual as well. Completely inappropriate to be discussing sexuality at that age.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:21 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
So then you will stop using pronouns?
What a way to make someone feel even more awkward. They are hyper aware of this already. That person will surely catch on and will probably say “I see you seem to have a problem deciding what pronoun to use with me. Just use ‘they.’” And you’ll say no?
Girl bye. I have more experience in this world with actual family and close friends being apart of this community and sharing the same thoughts.
I asked if you were going to stop using pronouns, lol. And you come out with “I’m more woke than you” lol. I don’t care how many people you know, blah blah. If someone wants you to use the pronoun of their choice, then use it. Or would you come out with my trans friends say, blah, blah? Maybe your friends don’t want you to use ‘they’. Who gives a $hit? Other people prefer certain things.
Toodles!
If your name is Simone, I will call you Simone. Now go kick rocks
OMG why is this so difficult?????
Why is it so difficult to use the pronoun if they asked you to call them ‘they’? Why is that so hard?
I never said it was.
I must be very sheltered as I have never met anyone that didn't go by a name. Never, call me, they, or even he/she.
How often do you encounter people like this?
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:23 PM |
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mommy2devin
2 Boys, I need calgon!
Member since 10/07 1572 total posts
Name:
Shannon
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They/Them
"Go kick rocks", "girl bye"..... but preach kindness and are kindness police on this board. Typical.
Kling didn't say anything absurd, she asked a question. If someone asked you to use "they" instead of "he" or "she" why is that so hard?
For example, your child has a friend, Lisa. Lisa asked your daughter to go to the movies. This is how it goes?
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with Lisa? Lisa said Lisa's parents would take you around 4. Did you want to go with Lisa?"
OR, would you replace Lisa a couple times with "her"? And if Lisa requested to use the pronoun "them", then what?
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:30 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
]
Your name Lisa [sic], I will Call [sic] you Lisa. Although, you specifically [sic] I call by another name.
Next time be KIND, and ask me if I care about your opinion doll
I don’t go by that name. I go by another name that my family and friends use. So, no, don’t call me by that name. It’s rude and insulting.
Ask you if you care about my opinion? What are you whining about?
I was participating in a discussion and asked you a question. If you can only resort to insults and scare tactics, then I don’t know what to tell you.
But why even ask if you can use pronouns that people ask you to use, when you clearly can’t even use the English language properly.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:32 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
You're so right. I think it's definitely a grieving process. While every parent only wants the best for their children there are circumstances where it might take a little more time to come to terms with the new reality of who your kid is or is becoming. That's ok though, it's a normal progression to go through. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your child any less or that you don't want the best for them, sometimes it just takes a minute to shift your thinking from "what should be" to "what actually is".
I guess I don't have a "what should be." I never have. Even when my son was born my MIL was trying to get me to relate to how disappointed she was that her son married a non jew by asking me how I would feel if he brought home a girl with a different ethnicity. Besides being appalled at how completely and utterly racist she was I said I wouldn't care if he brought home a man who was a different ethnicity. I don't care. at all.
The grieving process for parents with regards to things not turning out how you expect is more for real life changing circumstances, not something like you're describing. For example, imagine that the daughter you birthed and raised wishes to now identify as a male. That is a tough one. Of course, any decent parent will continue to love and support that child regardless but I get how it might take some time for a parent to process all of that. It's a lot.
I don't think a parent needs to go through any type of grieving process if their son or daughter brought someone home of a different skin color, ethnicity, religion, etc. If they do, that person might need to look inward to fix all of that racism and hate inside of them.
I would not care if my daughter wanted to identify as a male as long as that is what made him happy. I do not care. There would be no grieving process for me. My child is still alive, the same person he always was. If you are a certain religion and your child decides they no longer want to practice the religion you raised them are you going to grieve? I don't know - if my kid is happy and healthy that is legitimately all I care about. I would grieve if they died and I would be upset if they were ill. I am not saying all parents would or should be like me but that is how I am.
I think maybe you're missing what I and CookiePuss are saying. All any parent cares about is that their children are happy and healthy, that's not even debatable. But as parents we do have hopes and dreams for our children and it's natural for a parent to picture the future for their kids in some type of way. When there is a drastic change to what you envisioned it might just take a minute to adjust to the new reality. It's doesn't mean you're disappointed in your child or that you love them any different or less, there are just some major life shifts that might cause a parent to grieve what they lost and accept the new situation they are gaining. That is totally normal.
And again, we're referring to MAJOR life changes here as in a gender reassignment. A child who is raised as a Catholic and now wants to practice as a Lutheran (as an example) certainly does not fall into the scope of what we are talking about here.
Realistically, most parents won't ever encounter a situation where they need to grieve anything about their child but there are parents out there, for sure, that have gone through such a process and the point being made is that it's normal. And ok.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:33 PM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by mommy2devin
"Go kick rocks", "girl bye"..... but preach kindness and are kindness police on this board. Typical.
Kling didn't say anything absurd, she asked a question. If someone asked you to use "they" instead of "he" or "she" why is that so hard?
For example, your child has a friend, Lisa. Lisa asked your daughter to go to the movies. This is how it goes?
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with Lisa? Lisa said Lisa's parents would take you around 4. Did you want to go with Lisa?"
OR, would you replace Lisa a couple times with "her"? And if Lisa requested to use the pronoun "them", then what?
Did I say I was promoting kindness or did other people like the ones you kiss a$$ constantly said that?
Very easy to say their name instead of she/he and use they/them to be grammatically correct and not in place of he/she.
I had to screenshot this and share to my transgender Uncle for a laugh. He in turn shared screenshots for his Instagram followers on his blog page. All the things that people have no clue about
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:34 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: They/Them
Posted by mommy2devin
"Go kick rocks", "girl bye"..... but preach kindness and are kindness police on this board. Typical.
Kling didn't say anything absurd, she asked a question. If someone asked you to use "they" instead of "he" or "she" why is that so hard?
For example, your child has a friend, Lisa. Lisa asked your daughter to go to the movies. This is how it goes?
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with Lisa? Lisa said Lisa's parents would take you around 4. Did you want to go with Lisa?"
OR, would you replace Lisa a couple times with "her"? And if Lisa requested to use the pronoun "them", then what?
Putting all drama aside- just from a totally practical standpoint, that's a LOT of Lisa's
I would definitely throw a "Her" in there a few times if you are asking what I would normally do.
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with her? She said her parents would take you around 4."
That would be my normal vernacular in a case like this.
Message edited 2/18/2022 12:36:04 PM.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:35 PM |
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