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littlejoy06
Love
Member since 3/07 6944 total posts
Name:
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She actually made me cry for the first time...
My DD is 2 1/2 and normally when she says something I let it slide.
Well last night I was going to my mothers for dinner and she said, "I don't want to be with you anymore, I want Grandma so go to work and pick me up tomorrow." Not kidding and it was in that mean tone.
I just broke down. 
It's really hard right now because my DH has been on a 10 day bike trip and I'm trying to do everything I can for her. I did explain to her that she really hurt my feelings and I'm doing the best I can.
It really hurts me because I remember the anger I had with my mother. She had to work FT too and I spent that time with my grandmother.
I just don't want her to have that hatred like I did and it lasted for 20 years. 
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Posted 7/14/09 8:21 AM  |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
You are a great mother! One day she will realize that you working is the best thing for your family, and you must do it.
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| Posted 7/14/09 8:25 AM |
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debsey75
My two best friends!
Member since 11/06 5879 total posts
Name:
Debbie
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Ahhhhhhhhhh Sue, I think she is too young to understand what she said was hurtful. She is a kid, they have their moments. 
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| Posted 7/14/09 8:25 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
My mother worked full time when I was little and I DID say mean things like that to her ALL the time! Now I am sooooo proud of her and the example she showed me, bc I grew up knowing that I can have a career and a family like she did....She was a smart career woman and a great mother, and so are you!!!!! Don't doubt yourself EVER!!!!!!
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| Posted 7/14/09 8:29 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
aww sue i am sorry, that would have made me cry too
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| Posted 7/14/09 8:30 AM |
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littlejoy06
Love
Member since 3/07 6944 total posts
Name:
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Posted by debsey75
Ahhhhhhhhhh Sue, I think she is too young to understand what she said was hurtful. She is a kid, they have their moments.
I hope so. I explained to her that it really hurt my feelings and that mommy is doing everything she can to provide a house, cloths and food and even toys for her.
It just really hurt. 
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| Posted 7/14/09 8:31 AM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
She definitely has no idea of what she's saying and the "power" of her words. What I hear her saying is that she really enjoys spending special time with Grandma.
If she does something like that again, I'd *pretend* to cry (in a very obvious way) and say, "Aww, that hurts mommy's feelings. I love being with you." Or something like that.
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| Posted 7/14/09 8:34 AM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Oh Sue, I know I would have broken down and cried as well 
Do you think maybe it's just a phase? Or does it seem like she's really that upset with you?
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| Posted 7/14/09 8:50 AM |
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clmj2
cant believe hes gone
Member since 3/07 4407 total posts
Name:
Candice
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
DD is 18 months old and her play time is putting my shoes on and kissing me good bye so she can go to work....cute yes but that is obviously how she sees me
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| Posted 7/14/09 8:55 AM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
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| Posted 7/14/09 8:55 AM |
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krashnburn
I am Batman!
Member since 5/05 4093 total posts
Name:
I'm Batman, I tell you!
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Awww Sue!!!
Remember, she is only 2.5 and doesn't really understand what she's saying and the dynamic of things. She probably wanted something or was grumpy about something else and took it out in that way. You're a great mother and she loves you!!!!
PS And don't think your relationship with you mom with be the same one you have with her. My mom worked FT too and I stayed with lots of different people and then by myself and I never had resentment or anger for her. Every situation is different for different reasons and by the people involved in them.
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| Posted 7/14/09 9:18 AM |
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jaysee00
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1647 total posts
Name:
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
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| Posted 7/14/09 9:19 AM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
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| Posted 7/14/09 9:28 AM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
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| Posted 7/14/09 9:31 AM |
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Melissa77
Mommy of 3
Member since 8/08 2872 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Awww Sue. She doesn't mean it. IMHO, I just think she wanted grandma b/c the rules are different with grandma and the snacks are better - lol. You are a great mom and a great role model for Madison which she will appreciate not resent. She is so little, she doesn't understand what she said was hurtful.
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| Posted 7/14/09 9:58 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Sue, you are a GREAT mom.
Tomorrow she will think you are the greatest mommy.
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| Posted 7/14/09 10:07 AM |
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littlejoy06
Love
Member since 3/07 6944 total posts
Name:
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Posted by dooodles
Oh Sue, I know I would have broken down and cried as well
Do you think maybe it's just a phase? Or does it seem like she's really that upset with you?
I hope it's a phase because I can't take it. We were in the car when this happened. When we stopped I explained to her that it was very hurtful and Mommy is trying her best.
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| Posted 7/14/09 10:35 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Like all the pp said, she doesn't know the impact of what she is saying. I agree, she only means that she is having fun with grandma.
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| Posted 7/14/09 10:38 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Writing you an email now.
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| Posted 7/14/09 10:47 AM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
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| Posted 7/14/09 10:50 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Posted by Melissa77
Awww Sue. She doesn't mean it. IMHO, I just think she wanted grandma b/c the rules are different with grandma and the snacks are better - lol. You are a great mom and a great role model for Madison which she will appreciate not resent. She is so little, she doesn't understand what she said was hurtful.
My thoughts exactly!
Sorry sue
You are a wonderful person...dont forget it!
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| Posted 7/14/09 12:36 PM |
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luckyinlove
I love my baby girls!
Member since 12/06 2441 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
This is what I am afraid of when my DD is old enough to understand that I am not going to be around all day while i am working. I am sure that they don't really mean it, but I can imagine it still hurts.
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| Posted 7/14/09 12:50 PM |
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Kotka
Mom to two boys :)
Member since 5/05 3384 total posts
Name:
Jola
(pronounced Yola)
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Message edited 7/14/2009 1:07:55 PM.
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| Posted 7/14/09 1:06 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
She's testing you. I went through this all the time with my child and spent many a day thinking I was the worst mother in the world or that whatever effort I was making was doing no good.
Hang in there
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| Posted 7/14/09 1:25 PM |
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momdal
LIF Infant
Member since 12/08 74 total posts
Name:
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Re: She actually made me cry for the first time...
Posted by littlejoy06
It really hurts me because I remember the anger I had with my mother. She had to work FT too and I spent that time with my grandmother.
I just don't want her to have that hatred like I did and it lasted for 20 years.
I agree with the other posters I don’t think she knows what she is saying is hurtful. She probably just wanted to stay at Grandmas.
It sounds like you really don’t want to repeat the relationship you had with your mom or at least this aspect of it. If that’s the case you might want to start building the relationship that you would have like to have with your daughter now. I hope you don’t take it the wrong way you are a great mom and not doing anything wrong. My husband and I are trying to not repeat one relationship thing from the way we were raised. It’s hard to change and it takes effort I think our gut first instinct to go with what we know which was how we were raised. Again I hope you don’t take what I said in the wrong way.
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| Posted 7/14/09 2:56 PM |
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