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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
My mom keeps pressing the issue asking when I will send my son to her for a vacation with grandma. She lives in Virginia. I think she's nuts. My son is only 2 years old! besides the fact that we don't even have the money to take a vacation ourselves I just think this is not normal. when I told her he's too young she said 3? i said nooo so she said 4? i said no so she said "so 5 is the magic number?" and I asked why she wants him there without us so badly and she said she wants alone time with her grandson. I said "well maybe joe and i can take a vaca, check out busch gardens, stay in a hotel but at least we'd be within driving distance if anything happens. she said it's not the same and i need to "cut the cord". Then she mentioned she wants to take him on one of her trips to nebraska where she goes 4 wheeling. I told her there is no way in hell i'm sending my son on a vacation where the closest airport is 8 hours away.
She keeps saying I'm too attached and i need to cut the cord and that i need an adult vacation. I personally feel that when we can finally afford a vacation I want us to enjoy it AS A FAMILY.
how many of you send your kids away to stay with other family and how old were they when you started?
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Posted 10/29/13 6:26 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JoesWife628
Our family is complete :)
Member since 8/08 3934 total posts
Name:
Me
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
I wouldn't feel comfortable being that far away from my kids.
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| Posted 10/29/13 6:29 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
Posted by JoesWife628
I wouldn't feel comfortable being that far away from my kids.
that's how i feel. She says DH and I need an adult vacation. but, I didn't have kids to dump them and go explore the world. I want to explore TOGETHER.
If she lived here and was close to other family, his pediatrician etc. maybe i'd feel more comfortable going away and leaving him with her for a weekend. but she moved to VA...that was HER CHOICE. I shouldn't have to ship my son off because of it.
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| Posted 10/29/13 6:34 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19454 total posts
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L
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
I would not feel comfortable being that far away either. FWIW I think my kids had their first over night at my parents when they were about 4 years old. We are only a hour and a half away. I would not do it any younger unless necessary and not a 6 hour trip. If I was in the same state at a hotel I would be ok at about 4 years old. But I would want to be max two hours away. As for four wheeling - 9 years old at the earliest and likely 10 or 11 for that depending upon the maturity of the child.
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| Posted 10/29/13 6:35 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
Thanks for posting this! My in-laws have been saying forever that when we had kids they wanted to take them over the summer for a few weeks so we could have a break. I thought it was really nice, but DD is only 9w and they are talking about starting this next summer! 
I have to say I think she is way too young to start this so soon!
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| Posted 10/29/13 7:14 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
I would NEVER. Well, maybe when they are teenagers but as a young child??................hell no. Never, ever, never.
You're not crazy, your mom is though. 
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| Posted 10/29/13 7:58 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
Posted by Hofstra26
I would NEVER. Well, maybe when they are teenagers but as a young child??................hell no. Never, ever, never.
You're not crazy, your mom is though.
ETA - My DD is 5yo and has still never had an overnight with anyone.
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| Posted 10/29/13 8:00 PM |
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Arieschick29
aries+cancer= pisces&gemini
Member since 3/06 4268 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
My 4 yr old dd is going to Florida for 5 days with my inlaws before Thanksgiving.... She has spent many weekends and week long vacations with them before so I have no worries.
DH and I love that we can send her to family and know she is not scared to be without us.
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| Posted 10/29/13 8:20 PM |
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jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
Wouldn't happen
My dads been begging to let my 3+ yr old sleep over (a few towns away) and I'm anxious over agreeing haha
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| Posted 10/29/13 8:21 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
I would not send my kids away that young but 100% I have no problem leaving my kids for a few nights with my mil at her house where they visit all the time and feel very comfortable. I personally do think it's good to " cut the cord" as ur mom says, lol, but I just wouldn't be comfortable with those specific circumstances. Maybe the next time your mom visits for a few days, you and dh could get away for a night somewhere within an hour or two away. It really is very relaxing to have a short break- plus your mom sounds like she would just love to take it on.
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| Posted 10/29/13 9:01 PM |
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gdubs
This baby is awesome!
Member since 11/10 2467 total posts
Name:
Gina
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
I think 4 wheeling would be insane, especially at this age but I would be ok sending DS away with my parents but definitely not my inalws. You have to go with your gut, if you're not comfortable you're not comfortable. But if you and DH want some alone/adult time maybe consider sending him for just a few days. You guys don't have to go on vacation, you could just have date nights, head into the city or out east.
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| Posted 10/29/13 9:23 PM |
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jax1023
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1165 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
My ds is 18 months and I wouldn't send him away for a wek or anything, but I have left him overnight with my parents twice. Once while we were moving and DH and I had to go to our new city 5 hours away for interviews, meetings, sign lease and it was much easier to not have baby.
Second time was when my husband was away for work and I had planned to go to college homecoming with all my friends. Had been planning to bring ds but he had a cold and it was predicted to pour all day. My parents came and watched him overnight so I could still go.
They keep asking for a week or whatever, but I'm not there yet. Heck, I took my 13 month old to Europe because I wasn't ready to leave him
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| Posted 10/29/13 9:30 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
My MIL lives out of state and keeps saying she can't wait to have DD stay were her so she can have her all to herself. But I don't think dh and I will feel ready for that for a loooong time. Like you, we'd rather go on a vacation w dd and enjoy time as a family. Also, four wheeling w a toddler sounds like a horrible idea.
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| Posted 10/29/13 9:31 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
Posted by gdubs
I think 4 wheeling would be insane, especially at this age but I would be ok sending DS away with my parents but definitely not my inalws. You have to go with your gut, if you're not comfortable you're not comfortable. But if you and DH want some alone/adult time maybe consider sending him for just a few days. You guys don't have to go on vacation, you could just have date nights, head into the city or out east.
she's in virginia...so sending him means out of state. I have in laws who live 5 mins away and watch ds in the event we have a wedding or event, but we don't take advantage of them often bc they are older and don't necessarily have the energy to keep up with ds. plus we're broke so we don't often go out to eat or go anywhere that involves spending money. lol
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| Posted 10/29/13 9:36 PM |
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
I agree with you that he's too young and I would also prefer to take a vacation as a family when the time was right for a vacation, and not send my child away to take one. I agree w/ above poster that teenage years seem most likely for my child to be taking any out of state trips with relatives with out me or DH!
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| Posted 10/29/13 9:39 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
I agree with you hes too young to be that far away and for how long? You also dont know how he will react to sleeping out without you. Its not like your driving distance. Do you know how many times my nephews cry to sleep at my mothers house she of course lets them and then at bedtime or at like 11-12 they wake up hysterical wanting mommy and daddy. She has to drive him.home cause he wont calm down. My brother is 30 min away. What if he was hours and hours away?! And my nephew always do this to my mom even now at 10 years old.
If it was driving distance like my brother then i would say its ok for 1 night but not that far.
Dont cut the cord lol hes not 10 and you wont let him sleep out
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| Posted 10/30/13 7:55 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
I have no problem leaving my kids for a few nights. We've never been in a situation where someone has offered. I think in your situation I may try to compromise- but only when you're comfortable. I suggest having your mom drive up here and spend a couple of days making your DS comfortable. Then she can drive back to VA with him. You can have a couple of days alone with DH. Then you can drive down to VA, take DS on a little family trip- Busch Gardens, VA Beach or Williamsburg and then head home.
My in laws own a place in Myrtle Beach and I would be fine with them taking my boys. Too bad they've never even offered. 
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| Posted 10/30/13 8:06 AM |
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babyface10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/11 804 total posts
Name:
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
No way would i do it. I had to go on an international flight very suddenly for a few days an didnt even leave them home with my husband LOL. I have no problem leaving them for a night or 2 with any family but no longer than that and also as long as i can see them if i want. But that is just because i would miss them too much. My SIL though went away for a week and left her 7 month old with my parents. It was her choice and she regretted it after as she missed her DS too much but there was never any questions about worrying about him. I also agree that i traveled and did plenty of things before i had kids and now it is all about doing things with them and our trips now consist of things for all of us to enjoy.
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| Posted 10/30/13 8:16 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
No way! I get anxiety when my mom takes DD in the backyard without me! Other than DH, no one takes DD anywhere without me and we really don't leave her all that often even though it's always with family. There's just no reason imo for him to go out of state without you at this age (or anything close to it). I would be really annoyed if I was constantly being pressed about the issue.
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| Posted 10/30/13 8:23 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
I wouldn't be comfortable sending the child on the flight alone, that would be my main concern. Also think 2 is too young. 3 or 4 I'd be more likely to give in a little but wouldn't want the child on a flight alone even at that point...
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| Posted 10/30/13 8:24 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
i am the odd ball i think i would be ok with it. Me and DH left DD before she was 2 to go to puerto rico for 7 days. For the last few days they had plans to go to syracuse so they had to take it her there and we picked her up there and i had no issues at all. this summer DD who is about 32 months went away with my parents to PA to their trailer at a campground for the weeked Me and DH were a little nervous on how DD would react but she had a great time.
ETA: i would not send DD alone on any plane at this age at all (is that even allowed) but if my parents wanted to actually take her by picking her up then i would think i would be ok with it.
Message edited 10/30/2013 8:49:43 AM.
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| Posted 10/30/13 8:48 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
i wouldnt do it either!
you guys should plan a trip to VA to see her
if you go for a week, maybe pick 2 days that you drop him off in the morning and come back in the afternoon so they can have "alone time"
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| Posted 10/30/13 9:06 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
Hell to the no.
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| Posted 10/30/13 9:06 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
Posted by Arieschick29
My 4 yr old dd is going to Florida for 5 days with my inlaws before Thanksgiving.... She has spent many weekends and week long vacations with them before so I have no worries.
DH and I love that we can send her to family and know she is not scared to be without us.
I agree with this.
I actually wish we had parents that can offer to take DS. I would let my DS go as long as I trusted my parents.
If anyone wants to rent out some grandparents, let me know! Lol
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| Posted 10/30/13 9:56 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy
Posted by babyface10
No way would i do it. I had to go on an international flight very suddenly for a few days an didnt even leave them home with my husband LOL.
Lol just out of curiosity, what did you end up doing? Taking them?
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| Posted 10/30/13 9:59 AM |
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