Just a working mom vent

I hate having to work!

I am resenting my husband big time for it. I work more than him.

Yes, he's trying to get work but if any of you are looking or know someone who is...you know how hard it is right now.

I feel like I come second fiddle to him and my mom who watch her when I work.

I cry almost every day about this.

I know I'm lucky she's with them and not a stanger but it still hurts. I feel like she's not attached to me the way she should be and I feel like I am missing out on so much.

every time my DH corrects me "no she usually naps now", "no she'll finish that bottle", "no she likes this" I want to punch him.

Sorry for the vent but I am just soooo bummed. Thanks for listening.

Re: Just a working mom vent

I know how you feel.

But just think... she'll have this great bond with her father for all the time they're spending together.

I know how hard it is to work FT and not see your dc that much. It's very hard. My ds has more of a bond with my husband than he does with me. But that's because he spends most of his time with my husband. As hard as it is to see that... i'm glad that one of us gets to spend a lot of time with him.

Re: Just a working mom vent

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is such a stinky situation to be the "breadwinner" of the family and not be the caregiver.

Hopefully things will turn around and the roles can be switched soon!

Re: Just a working mom vent

Well, you can also look at it this way: YOU are the one providing for your family right now. You are doing the best thing that you possibly can for them. That's an amazing thing to be able to do as a wife and mother, and you should take nothing but pride in that. I know how hard it can be to see your husband be the one who knows your baby best because for 2.5 years, my hubby was Ava's sole care provider during the day. He knew her inside and out and I felt like an outsider some days. But then there was the other part of me that felt like my little girl was so lucky because she would forever have a bond with her father that so many other children will never have. It's always been an amazing feeling knowing that my husband was able to step up to the plate and take care of our daughter. Feel proud of your DH for being able to do the same. Many men would not do what our husbands do. Take pride in your ability to provide for your family, and most of all, steal that precious little girl from everyone else as soon as you get home
I know that my answer still doesn't make up for how you're feeling, but it was always at least a bit of consolation for me and hopefully it will be for you, too

Re: Just a working mom vent

yesterday I felt the same way. I broke down at work, nice everyone saw it. I was angry with my husband, angry w/ my MIL who watches the baby. she tells me every night all the cute things he does all day and it pizzes me off! I had such a bad day yesterday, I feel like quitting. I'm scared to leave my job being that the economy is so bad. I totally feel your pain and know exactly what you are going through

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Re: Just a working mom vent

It is normal to feel this way, whether DD is with your husband or anyone else while you are working. it gets so much easier!!!! She is still so young and you are just back (I'm guessing by your avatar how young she is) so it will take a while to ajust. She knows who her mama is.

Maybe you can politely tell your DH that when you are "on duty" with DD (sorry, I hate that expression, but it's the only one that I can think of right now) you will do things your way. But be sure to thank him for the help and support. Because you don't want him to think you don't appreciate it Just a suggestion.

Re: Just a working mom vent

I am not the breadwinner, but I am the one with the health benefits, retirement etc... but I do find myself resenting DH sometimes bec I have to work for our benefits (he is self-employed).

I do really like my job and currently I am part-time, so I am the primary caregiver, then my mom and then DH. I am very lucky and I love my situation right now, I just hope I can stay part-time for a long time.

Re: Just a working mom vent

Posted by prncss

Well, you can also look at it this way: YOU are the one providing for your family right now. You are doing the best thing that you possibly can for them. That's an amazing thing to be able to do as a wife and mother, and you should take nothing but pride in that.

But then there was the other part of me that felt like my little girl was so lucky because she would forever have a bond with her father that so many other children will never have.
Take pride in your ability to provide for your family, and most of all, steal that precious little girl from everyone else as soon as you get home
I know that my answer still doesn't make up for how you're feeling, but it was always at least a bit of consolation for me and hopefully it will be for you, too

Re: Just a working mom vent

Posted by aliwnec10

I know how you feel.

But just think... she'll have this great bond with her father for all the time they're spending together.

. As hard as it is to see that... i'm glad that one of us gets to spend a lot of time with him.

Re: Just a working mom vent

Thanks everyone. I went back to work a few hours a week when she was only 3 weeks old but she didn't even know who I was at that time and she basically slept the whole time I was gone. I've been back to FTfor a month already and it just seems to be getting harder.

Re: Just a working mom vent

Re: Just a working mom vent

Posted by mikeswife06

Posted by prncss

Well, you can also look at it this way: YOU are the one providing for your family right now. You are doing the best thing that you possibly can for them. That's an amazing thing to be able to do as a wife and mother, and you should take nothing but pride in that.

But then there was the other part of me that felt like my little girl was so lucky because she would forever have a bond with her father that so many other children will never have.
Take pride in your ability to provide for your family, and most of all, steal that precious little girl from everyone else as soon as you get home
I know that my answer still doesn't make up for how you're feeling, but it was always at least a bit of consolation for me and hopefully it will be for you, too

Thank you so much. You have such a more positive outlook than I do. Thank you for shedding this other light on the situation.