How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

My FSIL lost her father this morning after a very difficult struggle with cancer. She and my brother are getting married in July, and when she's ready to start thinking about planning again I'd like to have some ideas for her to be able to honor her dad. They were extremely close so I know she's going to want him included.

For their favors they are thinking of donating to Livestrong and giving everyone a bracelet.

I did a search on LIW and here but came up with nothing.

Thank you very much.
Cathy

Message edited 11/29/2006 12:05:21 AM.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

honestly- I only did the favor to honor my Mom- we didn't want the day turned into something sad- no empty chair, no picture- everyone knew she was missing- and we didn't want to make anyone upset- including myself

I did a donation to the leukmia/lymphoma society with a little noted saying it was in honor of her

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

DH & I did the same as Beth for my father & DH's mother except it was to the american cancer society.

My sister had a frame attached to her bouqet with my father's picture in it -- it symbolized him walking her down the aisle.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

We donated to Hospice Care Network and Cancer Care in lieu of favors. My mom was remembered also in my invitation -- it had my dad's name, with special memories of my mom's name requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of his daughter... That aspect was extremely important to me b/c my mom died 9 months before my wedding and she had started the planning with me.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

I knew I didn't want to do something like an empty chair b/c that just seemed too sad for me (I don't think I could have handled it - nor could my dad.) I wanted something to remind me of her, but not necessarily of her absence. So, I had a bouquet of daisies (her favorite flowers - and what she used for her wedding) at my table. They actually made me a whole bouquet that included the daisies and some of the lilacs I had in my bouquet. It made me happy to look at and know that she was there with me. Some people who knew my mom really well noticed.

I also carried a pretty blue handkerchief of hers with me, wrapped around my bouquet.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

We remembered our parents in the prayers of the faithful as part of our wedding mass. The day after the wedding, I put my throwaway bouquet on my parents' grave.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

I put my throw away Bouquet at my parents grave site with a note attached. I also had my Mom's wedding day hankie attached to my bouquet where I would hold it, on the handle, I also had my Grandmothers and Moms sterling silver bible incorparted into my bouquet. At my Auf Ruf ( Jewish blessing a few weeks before the wedding) , DH wore my fathers Tallis. Also after our first dance they put on my parents wedding song, but did not announce it.
I also did not want to be so sad that day and have suttle touches...

Message edited 12/2/2006 2:31:14 PM.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

I had my mom's name included on my invitation, did the unity candle at the church. I also had a special song dedicated to her at my wedding and had my self, my sister and my moms goddaughters dance all dance with their husbands to it.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

we lit the unity candle at the church in honor of both of our moms, the preist announced it during the ceremony. also pinned my mom's wedding band to the inside of my dress.

i also have a 18 year old stepsister that died suddenly of heart problems, we honored her also with a donation instead of a favor.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

I had a memorial candle with their names at the church that we lit. I dedicated my mass to them in my program... I had their wedding picture up by the seating card stand... and our favors were donations to The Lung Cancer and American Heart Associations. Oh and I danced with my grandma and my sister to "my mom and I song- "Because You Loved Me"-- there wasnt a dry eye in the place.

Message edited 12/13/2006 8:25:58 PM.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

I dedicated a poem to my father on the back of our programs (I didnt write it!).

My mother also mentioned him in a toast.

We had pictures of all the parents and grandparents displayed at the RH.

My father passed away 9 years ago so while we missed him very much and there were sad moments during the day, I was not as overwhelmed with grief as much as I would have been had his death been closer to the wedding.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

donation favor in my fathers name and a mention of his name in our program

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

I had a breakaway mini-bocquet attached to my regular bocquet. As I walked down the aisle I undid the ribbon and placed the bocquet on what would have been my mother's chair (first row, aisle seat on my left) which was empty, paused for a moment and then kissed my Dad who was sitting in the next chair.

She was also remembered in our program.

The minister mentioned our deceased loved ones during the service, and named my mother.

We posted the wedding pictures of my parents, DH's parents and every set of grandparents.

I also honored my parents's marriage by wearing my Dad's wedding band (my mom was buried with hers), tied into the bow the laced the corset on the back of my dress.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

Well , Thank G-d my mom was still alive during my wedding but she was dying and everyone knew because I had to change my wed day to have her there. .. We had a special dance togehter ( wind beneath my wings) I still cant watch my wedding video with out bawling. There wasnt a dry eye in the place after that dance.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

Posted by Lisa

Posted by Christine

My sister had a frame attached to her bouqet with my father's picture in it -- it symbolized him walking her down the aisle.

that is beautiful!

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

I had a candle lit on the alter in the church. In the program it said why the candle was there. I also wore a peice of jewlery.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

I had my mother's name on the invitation, her picture along with our parent's and grandparents' wedding pictures on a table when you first walked in with a memory candle lit next to it and i said a quick speech opening up the dancefloor with her favorite song "dancing queen." The remaining centerpieces went to her grave that night and then I also left my bouquet for her the next morning. She passed away 4 months prior to the wedding so I knew there was going to be this "feeling" about the day with my guests so I couldn't just ignore it. I had to make a point of letting everyone know that yes it is an awful thing but she would be here dancing with us if she could but she's just dancing somewhere else.

Message edited 12/15/2006 5:10:57 PM.

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

My father passed 6 months before my wedding after a long and painful suffering. The wedding was our way of celebrating his spirit. However, as Jewish people, we were still in our period of mourning as we had not unveiled his stone at the grave yet. It is our tradition that happiness is not to be mixed with sadness so there was not going to be a memorial table or a candle. I had my mother, siblings, aunt, cousins and nieces and nephews who were also mourning too. We all had our level of tolerance as to how much raw emotion we could take. My father would not have wanted anyone of us to be sad. So I had a picture of my father, in a tux, attached to my bouquet. It was private and it was for me. When my mother finally saw it, she broke down. My siblings took a heavy breath and we all had a hard time. I knew i did the right thing by not making my father's absence a spectacle.The frame was heartshaped surrounded by pearls. About an hour or two into photo taking, we realized one of the pearls was missing - a sweet irony as Dad was missing too. Anyone who knew him, knew he was discreet and quiet. HE would have wanted our wedding day to be about DH and me.

I also had his WW2 dog tag sewn inside my dress.

Just before I walked down the aisle, I had been standing alone. My brother was assisting my nephew, the ringbearer, down the aisle and was doubling back to walk me down. My bridal attendant saw the picture and asked who that was. She said "Oh I am sure he is with you now." I knew that, but was not prepared to hear the words. By the time my brother got back to me, hes like "You ok?" I said "No, I miss Daddy." Well then the water works on both of us started as we walked. He was trying to be stoic and as a result, when he gave me away, he gave DH a pat on the back that looked insincere. Later we found out that he was trying to keep his composure for the family.

Two days before the wedding, I went to Dad's grave (which I wasn't supposed to do yet) and said the Mourner's Kaddish for him and asked for his blessing. Our wedding was in February just one week after the huge snowstorm. The cemetary had been covered in snow. There was a marker in the ground until the stone had been set and it barely peered out of the top of the snow. I would like to think Dad was waiting for me and wanted me to find him.
My bouquet:

My siblings looking at it:

Re: How did you honor your parent at your wedding?

i included a poem dedicated to my father in the wedding program. i also had the priest announce a moment of remembrance for him at the beginning of our ceremony.

Message edited 12/16/2006 12:12:08 PM.