Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

I know we have gone through this before- so I guess this is more of a vent then it is anything at all..

But seriously my mom is crazy- Im just getting so fustrated with her, and am ever so slowly losing my patience dealing with her...

I feel terrible because I know she "isnt right" but she makes no sense when she talks, she is inconsistent with EVERYTHING she says, She does/says things and totally forgets that she said/did them (which then turns into a big fight because Im now "lying" ) I could go on and on forever!

She is jekyll and hyde and Im tired of her being so nasty to me because she is having a bad week... Especially when all I do is take care of her and the whole dysfunctional family!!!

I cant cope! She refuses to get help- so I really dont have any sympathy left to give!

Message edited 4/27/2007 2:10:45 PM.

Re: Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

Is she living on her own? Is there a way you can get power of attorney and maybe ( I know its hard) but put her in a place where they can monitor her and keep her in check? My grandemother is 81 and we are dealing with similar things so for you. i hope things improve.

Re: Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

Im sorry Marisa
Its hard to deal with family to begin with sometimes when you have your own family, husband, kids, housework, work, friends and find the energy to deal with it all. Sometimes we barely have enough energy to deal with our own lives let alone the lives of our family.

Its hard - but try not to be so hard on yourself - you are giving her as much support as you possibly can. Have you spoken to her about getting help - maybe setting up an appointment for her to talk to someone about how she feels just to get the ball rolling?

Re: Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

She lives with my father (who is useless) and my 2 brothers (also useless)

She use to see both a conselor and psychiatrist... She was diagnosed and medicated for depression and honestly got a bit worse... truthfully I think she is bipolar and there lies why medicating her for depression made things worse..

Since then she refuses to talk to or take any meds (since it didnt work the 1st time)

Re: Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

Marisa, I am sorry you have to go through this.

Re: Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

Is this a change in her behavior or has she been like this mostly?

If it's a change, you should bring it to the attention of her treating MD. As people age, mood swings and changes in behavior are common. They may indicate a medical condition or it may be something as simple as a particular blood level being low.

Sorry you're dealing with this, though. It's tough.

Re: Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

Have you considered seeing a therapist yourself? I'm not saying you have a mental illness also, but to talk about what you are dealing with with your mother. There are some support groups around also, which may be even more helpful. A hospital or therapist should be able to direct you to one.

I had a friend who was married to a man with bipolar. Lovely person when he wasn't having a manic phase or off his meds, but what a nightmare when he was off of them. She went to a support group for families of people with bipolar, but she wound up going to Al-Anon meetings also at the suggest of another friend, and found them more useful. Al-Anon is for families of alcoholics, but she thought there were a lot of similarities in the disorders. I know this marriage was very rough for her--eventually, they got divorced. Luckily, no kids in the picture.

I hope things get better, or you find ways to cope.

Re: Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

DH's mother was like this, which is one of the many reasons we cut ties. All I can do is give you some

Re: Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

I know this is a poor excuse- but I seriously have no time...

I think some therapy or support groups for myself would be beneficial... but Im a working mom, and I can barely keep up with my own household things, on top of dealing with my mom and brothers.. I really dont see when I would fit in support groups (or even get a babysitter to go to one)

I dunno... Im just so tired of her hurting me- I know it sounds selfish.. but when she is low, she is plain nasty and hurtful (like didnt even call me on my b--day to say happy b-day or get on the phone when I called her )

The excuse of disability only goes so far when you are refusing to get help!

Message edited 4/27/2007 9:34:50 PM.

Re: Dealing with a "mental health" patient~family/friends

It is tough. Can you go to a NAMI meeting? Its a support group for family members of people with mental illness.