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Re: am i missing something?
Posted by Sash
I don’t go to many showers maybe because I’m an old fart now. But the few I have been, I noticed this trend. Ehh it’s the new normal, lol. Doesn’t matter to me who pays as long as their is booze.
I think this is better for friends and family and relieves the pressure. I also don’t think someone should miss out on a shower because no one would like to plan it for them. If friends and family are more than happy to come, why not celebrate.
Doesn’t matter to me who pays as long as their is booze.
 EX.AC.TLY. Give me food and alcohol and I will be there
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Posted 9/1/21 2:09 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: am i missing something?
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by Deeluvsvinny
Posted by RainyDay
Posted by Deeluvsvinny
yes, it's common now.
Maybe I'll get flamed for this, but I think it's all about entitled millennials. (And I'm considered an older Millennial, so I think I can say it).
Showers used to be a surprise your mom/family/friends threw to celebrate your marriage or baby. no one cared about themes, decor, etc. It was fun and of course the gifts.
Now, it's a show, mostly for Instagram pictures. there's an esthetic, people hire Party Designers that bring in backdrops, props, balloon garlands, etc, etc. Even if they don't hire someone to do it, they DIY it all so that it looks a certain way. it's no longer about what is being celebrated, it just a show.
How is it entitled? I mean people would typically have a shower for a wedding or baby and the mother or family/friends would throw it, so was it really ever a secret? Very doubtful. So why not save your family the expense of having to throw one and do it yourself.
Showers used to be thrown for you by your loved ones. You got whatever your mom or friends could do. Coffee & Cake at home or a mega event at a reception hall- whatever it was, it was. You had no say in theme/decor, etc. My sister and her friends are true millennials. And I love them dearly, they are wonderful people and have become my good friends, but when it comes to parties- it's all about Instagram. Don't get me wrong, I've gone to quite a few I've had a great time and been awed by what they come up with. I've been known to throw my own instagram-able party (all DIY) too. I just feel like sometimes the pressure is on about how the party looks or how amazing it is and the event being celebrated is just a side note. Sometimes it's nice to be old school and simple.
I think it’s also largely a cultural thing as they are mostly in North America. An Australian coworker of mine used to get so mad when she started seeing American style bridal showers in Australia.
Interesting. I went to Australia on my honeymoon. We met a few Australian and Kiwi couples on the trip (one got engaged while we were there) and became friends on FB. This was 8 years ago and I’ve seen pictures of their showers, hens parties, kids parties, etc. over the years. They look exactly like you would see here in the US. All of them. So I think your coworker lost the battle
ETA I just saw your other post about consumerism. We were there at Christmas time and I have never in my life seen such a display and decorations of this magnitude. I’ve also never seen such unhealthy food. Me thinks the Australians are perhaps somewhat delusional about the US.
OMG, I know! They go crazy about their Boxing Day sales, too!
If you look very closely, you will see how they make their Xmases very Australian. Their live Xmas trees suck BTW. It’s really difficult to explain unless you lived there for a while. It’s little digs like “what is it with Americans and their peanut butter?” It gets old real quick.
The Australian things my in-laws used to do were WTF? I probably should have known that ahead of time. My ex had an Australia Day party in Germany (we met in Germany) and our group was mainly Americans. SO he invited us all over and had the party. The party was complete with Australian food (very good) and a movie about how the moon landing was possible mainly because of Australia. I remember leaving and my friends commenting on how we felt such strong propaganda.
I think the coworker moved on. It’s been years since I’ve lived there. I find people are nicer to me here than there.
I’m babbling sorry!
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| Posted 9/1/21 2:18 PM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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am i missing something?
My husband and I did a co-ed shower and paid for it ourselves. My mom nor his could afford what we wanted. They helped in other ways
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| Posted 9/1/21 7:01 PM |
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Re: am i missing something?
Posted by mrsrainbow
To me it doesn't matter who throws it. Either I want to celebrate the baby or I don't, so it doesn't matter to me who pays for what. Clinging to traditional ideals of "who does what" doesn't hold a lot of weight with me.
I feel the same.
As far as the social media component, I really don't see harm in it. Not everyone does it for attention...some people just like doing it.
Message edited 9/1/2021 7:05:35 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/21 7:04 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: am i missing something?
Posted by oldtimerocknroll
Posted by mrsrainbow
To me it doesn't matter who throws it. Either I want to celebrate the baby or I don't, so it doesn't matter to me who pays for what. Clinging to traditional ideals of "who does what" doesn't hold a lot of weight with me.
I feel the same.
As far as the social media component, I really don't see harm in it. Not everyone does it for attention...some people just like doing it.
This. I have always loved party planning. I'm in my 40s so social media wasn't always a aspect. I just love a pretty place setting, decorations, coordination...it's my jam. That said mostly the showers I have been too are coordinated by close friends or family members. I am doing my sisters bridal shower and she has no idea. My BFF & Sister did my baby shower a few years ago and I had no idea. They went all out with the decorations because my BFF is like me...she loves to decorate, coordinate, throw faboulous parties but she doesn't care about social media at all.
So basically I think it depends. I agree that the elaborate parties and gender reveals are a result of "keeping up" with the social media standards but their are also people like me, who genuinely enjoy party planning and coordinating.
ETA: I love a good charcuterie board...yes for the aesthetics but more for the yummy cheese and snacks lol
Message edited 9/1/2021 10:01:14 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/21 9:58 PM |
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