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Update- Need friend advice

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lpg21
LIF Infant

Member since 9/21

341 total posts

Name:

Update- Need friend advice

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Message edited 2/20/2024 2:27:51 PM.

Posted 12/4/23 10:49 AM
 
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lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9508 total posts

Name:

Re: Need friend advice

I would ask her to meet for coffee and explain face to face that while you value her friendship, you just don't have time to talk daily or respond promptly to texts. And then I would make sure that if she calls let it go to v-mail and leave texts unanswered for a couple of hours. I am not a fan of ghosting. I think everyone deserves an explanation of why you are dropping them as a friend. I was ghosted in my early 20s by a close friend and while I suspect I know why she dropped me, she was 100% off in some assumptions she made about what I think caused the end of our friendship. In the long run I think I was better off because clearly it wasn't a solid friendship to begin with, but I always felt robbed of the chance to explain what had truly happened.

Posted 12/4/23 1:07 PM
 

nycbuslady
LIF Adult

Member since 9/15

1063 total posts

Name:

Need friend advice

Did something change in her life that she herself has more time to call you? It's weird that she has changed her habits. In any case, I agree that you need to be honest with her. Tell her that you enjoy her friendship and definitely want to stay in contact. However, daily contact is just too much. Hopefull she'll get the message.

Posted 12/4/23 1:13 PM
 

lpg21
LIF Infant

Member since 9/21

341 total posts

Name:

Re: Need friend advice

Posted by nycbuslady

Did something change in her life that she herself has more time to call you? It's weird that she has changed her habits. In any case, I agree that you need to be honest with her. Tell her that you enjoy her friendship and definitely want to stay in contact. However, daily contact is just too much. Hopefull she'll get the message.



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Message edited 2/20/2024 2:28:21 PM.

Posted 12/4/23 1:20 PM
 

lima19
LIF Infant

Member since 5/19

105 total posts

Name:

Need friend advice

Tough situation. Sounds like she is trying to fill that void the other friend has left behind. The other friend possibly got tired of it being this one sided friendship. I would probably ghost her, but that is not the adult way to handle things. But how do yiu tell her that you are not getting what you need from this friendship? I'm not sure. I guess if you do value her friendship, you just have to be upfront and honest, but I'm not positive someone like this, one sided friendship takers, can change. I've had some of these in my life. Past tense. Good luck.

Posted 12/4/23 3:55 PM
 

lpg21
LIF Infant

Member since 9/21

341 total posts

Name:

Re: Need friend advice

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Message edited 2/20/2024 2:28:28 PM.

Posted 12/7/23 8:48 AM
 

lpg21
LIF Infant

Member since 9/21

341 total posts

Name:

Re: Update- Need friend advice

.

Message edited 2/20/2024 2:28:37 PM.

Posted 1/18/24 11:02 AM
 

clotheshorse
LIF Adult

Member since 5/12

1289 total posts

Name:

Re: Update- Need friend advice

Hmmm, maybe give it some more time. I wouldn't completely cut off contact for something like this. There may come a day where one of you would like to get in contact with one another & you don't want to burn that bridge. Should she have at least responded to your text? Yes. Maybe wait until a day comes & you do have extra time to reach out which is probably what she wore waiting for now. I give the person space if I find myself always initiating contact.

Posted 1/19/24 9:25 AM
 

lima19
LIF Infant

Member since 5/19

105 total posts

Name:

Update- Need friend advice

I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for speaking up. You handled it so well and she's handling the news like a child. She needs a sounding board instead of a friend. It doesn't sound like the friendship travels both ways. Friends deserve honesty, you gave that. Since you are not available 24/7 to listen to her recount every step in her life, she no longer needs you. If you find d your way back to each other at some point in your lives, fine. If not, your sanity has been recovered. You are a friend, not just a set of ears. Proud of you.

Posted 1/19/24 1:43 PM
 

lpg21
LIF Infant

Member since 9/21

341 total posts

Name:

Re: Update- Need friend advice

Posted by lima19

I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for speaking up. You handled it so well and she's handling the news like a child. She needs a sounding board instead of a friend. It doesn't sound like the friendship travels both ways. Friends deserve honesty, you gave that. Since you are not available 24/7 to listen to her recount every step in her life, she no longer needs you. If you find d your way back to each other at some point in your lives, fine. If not, your sanity has been recovered. You are a friend, not just a set of ears. Proud of you.



Thank you I appreciate that!

Posted 1/29/24 8:43 AM
 

lpg21
LIF Infant

Member since 9/21

341 total posts

Name:

Re: Update- Need friend advice

Posted by clotheshorse

Hmmm, maybe give it some more time. I wouldn't completely cut off contact for something like this. There may come a day where one of you would like to get in contact with one another & you don't want to burn that bridge. Should she have at least responded to your text? Yes. Maybe wait until a day comes & you do have extra time to reach out which is probably what she wore waiting for now. I give the person space if I find myself always initiating contact.



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Message edited 2/20/2024 2:28:07 PM.

Posted 1/29/24 8:49 AM
 
 

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