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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
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Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
I don't have kids so I don't know what advice to offer. She just dropped her kid off. I'm seeing her today and have tried to comfort her but I think she's melting down! Help!
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Posted 8/24/23 11:34 AM  |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
I am going through the same right now. There is nothing you can do to comfort her other than listen to her and promise her it will get easier ( as per my friends who have gone through the same thing.)
It is almost as if her entire reason for being is ripped out of her and she is no longer who she was for many years. Letting go is very hard and will take a while...
Only time will help with this as she settles into her new routine. Does she have other younger children? That might be a good perspective if she does: a chance to get even closer to them and create a special bond with just them. If the kid she dropped of at college is her only child that is even harder and i can't even image what she is going through...
Tell her those of us on LIF forum going though the same thing feel her pain and commiserate. :) Listen to her talk about the kid who got dropped off, the process, how everything went and remind her what a great time college is and how much this kid will enjoy it! And how she will always, ALWAYS be their mom and their comfort no matter what.
It is very good of you to care and try to comfort her.
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| Posted 8/24/23 12:38 PM |
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thewinterone
You make me happy
Member since 5/05 2473 total posts
Name:
cause you are gray.
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Re: Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
I just listened to her while she cried, made fun of her (that's usual for us), really just let her vent until she seemed more pulled together.
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| Posted 8/24/23 1:41 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
Maybe take her to lunch or dinner and for a cocktail or 2(if she drinks)
And let her vent, cry etc.
Sometimes just having someone to listen- or distract- is all you need.
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| Posted 8/24/23 1:58 PM |
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Re: Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
Posted by WhatNow
I am going through the same right now. There is nothing you can do to comfort her other than listen to her and promise her it will get easier ( as per my friends who have gone through the same thing.)
It is almost as if her entire reason for being is ripped out of her and she is no longer who she was for many years. Letting go is very hard and will take a while...
Only time will help with this as she settles into her new routine. Does she have other younger children? That might be a good perspective if she does: a chance to get even closer to them and create a special bond with just them. If the kid she dropped of at college is her only child that is even harder and i can't even image what she is going through...
Tell her those of us on LIF forum going though the same thing feel her pain and commiserate. :) Listen to her talk about the kid who got dropped off, the process, how everything went and remind her what a great time college is and how much this kid will enjoy it! And how she will always, ALWAYS be their mom and their comfort no matter what.
It is very good of you to care and try to comfort her.
I find this very sad being a mom of 2 "adults". Moms need to not make their kids #1 with everything as then they don't know what to do with themselves when they leave.
While it is a bitter sweet thing to let your kids do things on their own, it is exciting to get back to what you used to do before all the chaos of raising them.
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| Posted 8/24/23 2:26 PM |
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Re: Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
Go out to lunch, have a drink, ask her how it went. She might be better than you think. We all get a little sad but once the dust settles, she will see it is a beautiful thing that her child is able to be out on their own and you can continue enjoying your life without all the running around and chaos.
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| Posted 8/24/23 2:27 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22132 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
Posted by WhatNow
I am going through the same right now. There is nothing you can do to comfort her other than listen to her and promise her it will get easier ( as per my friends who have gone through the same thing.)
It is almost as if her entire reason for being is ripped out of her and she is no longer who she was for many years. Letting go is very hard and will take a while...
Only time will help with this as she settles into her new routine. Does she have other younger children? That might be a good perspective if she does: a chance to get even closer to them and create a special bond with just them. If the kid she dropped of at college is her only child that is even harder and i can't even image what she is going through...
Tell her those of us on LIF forum going though the same thing feel her pain and commiserate. :) Listen to her talk about the kid who got dropped off, the process, how everything went and remind her what a great time college is and how much this kid will enjoy it! And how she will always, ALWAYS be their mom and their comfort no matter what.
It is very good of you to care and try to comfort her.
Hope things gets easier for you. I still have time before this happens but I’m already feeling like my baby will be out of the house before I know it!
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| Posted 8/24/23 4:11 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
Wow thank you all! I did exactly as recommended here lol
Lunch, 2 drinks. She vented. All was ok (at least outwardly)
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| Posted 8/24/23 5:41 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
Posted by WhatNow
I am going through the same right now. There is nothing you can do to comfort her other than listen to her and promise her it will get easier ( as per my friends who have gone through the same thing.)
It is almost as if her entire reason for being is ripped out of her and she is no longer who she was for many years. Letting go is very hard and will take a while...
Only time will help with this as she settles into her new routine. Does she have other younger children? That might be a good perspective if she does: a chance to get even closer to them and create a special bond with just them. If the kid she dropped of at college is her only child that is even harder and i can't even image what she is going through...
Tell her those of us on LIF forum going though the same thing feel her pain and commiserate. :) Listen to her talk about the kid who got dropped off, the process, how everything went and remind her what a great time college is and how much this kid will enjoy it! And how she will always, ALWAYS be their mom and their comfort no matter what.
It is very good of you to care and try to comfort her.
thank you
this was exactly my feeling about her reason for being being taken away. She does have another younger child.
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| Posted 8/24/23 5:43 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quick advice BFF sad about kid at college
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by WhatNow
I am going through the same right now. There is nothing you can do to comfort her other than listen to her and promise her it will get easier ( as per my friends who have gone through the same thing.)
It is almost as if her entire reason for being is ripped out of her and she is no longer who she was for many years. Letting go is very hard and will take a while...
Only time will help with this as she settles into her new routine. Does she have other younger children? That might be a good perspective if she does: a chance to get even closer to them and create a special bond with just them. If the kid she dropped of at college is her only child that is even harder and i can't even image what she is going through...
Tell her those of us on LIF forum going though the same thing feel her pain and commiserate. :) Listen to her talk about the kid who got dropped off, the process, how everything went and remind her what a great time college is and how much this kid will enjoy it! And how she will always, ALWAYS be their mom and their comfort no matter what.
It is very good of you to care and try to comfort her.
I find this very sad being a mom of 2 "adults". Moms need to not make their kids #1 with everything as then they don't know what to do with themselves when they leave.
While it is a bitter sweet thing to let your kids do things on their own, it is exciting to get back to what you used to do before all the chaos of raising them.
i happen to agree with you but as i don't have kids it's really out of my purview.
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| Posted 8/24/23 5:47 PM |
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