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Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

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JennP
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

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Name:
Jenn

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by FirstMate

Tell your nephew to ghost until a paternity test (if it manifests into a pregnancy) can be confirmed. I may sound harsh but that's what I would tell my boys.



You would teach your son to stop responding to the texts of someone he called his girlfriend until a paternity test is confirmed? That's not harsh. That's sexist, irresponsible, and downright repulsive.

I am a "boy mom" too and I get wanting to protect them. This does nothing to protect the boy. If he is the father it will catch up with him after the test eventually. All it does is make him look like the a**hole in the meantime.

If he (general he) wants to stick his d*ck in someone he can take responsibility for his actions. And THAT is what I will teach my son. When he is older he can have all the condoms he wants. The time to protect a boy is BEFORE things happen. Not after.

Posted 11/2/20 4:24 AM
 
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RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3986 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by JennP

Posted by FirstMate

Tell your nephew to ghost until a paternity test (if it manifests into a pregnancy) can be confirmed. I may sound harsh but that's what I would tell my boys.



You would teach your son to stop responding to the texts of someone he called his girlfriend until a paternity test is confirmed? That's not harsh. That's sexist, irresponsible, and downright repulsive.

I am a "boy mom" too and I get wanting to protect them. This does nothing to protect the boy. If he is the father it will catch up with him after the test eventually. All it does is make him look like the a**hole in the meantime.

If he (general he) wants to stick his d*ck in someone he can take responsibility for his actions. And THAT is what I will teach my son. When he is older he can have all the condoms he wants. The time to protect a boy is BEFORE things happen. Not after.



We need more parents like you in this world.

Message edited 11/2/2020 4:32:08 AM.

Posted 11/2/20 4:31 AM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7790 total posts

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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by LuckyStar

I’m assuming she knows at this point, 20 days later, she has a positive test and is definitely pregnant? If so, I think the rest of the story is irrelevant.

You are getting one side of the story and it’s from a young man who is probably (and justifiably) freaking out. I think it’s strange that she’s having unprotected sex with someone who isn’t the father of her 3 month old. I think it’s strange your nephew is having sex with someone who had someone’s else’s baby 3 months ago.

They were both dumb for what they did. But only one of them is being accused of “shopping for a baby daddy.”

One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.



I should probably elaborate on why that would be my advice. We found out my SD (the product of a one night stand) is not my DH's not that long ago. My SD is in her 20's so it was devastating. (Thanks 23 and Me! Once she found out, her mom confirmed it). I am on the other end of raising someone else's kid and it's a very weird, sad place for all involved.

I'm not raising my boys to shirk any responsibility for anything but if they got a one night stand or a casual fling pregnant (which for some reason that is how I interpreted the OP), unless they were 100%, I would tell them exactly what I said above.

Posted 11/2/20 4:36 AM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7790 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by JennP

Posted by FirstMate

Tell your nephew to ghost until a paternity test (if it manifests into a pregnancy) can be confirmed. I may sound harsh but that's what I would tell my boys.



You would teach your son to stop responding to the texts of someone he called his girlfriend until a paternity test is confirmed? That's not harsh. That's sexist, irresponsible, and downright repulsive.

I am a "boy mom" too and I get wanting to protect them. This does nothing to protect the boy. If he is the father it will catch up with him after the test eventually. All it does is make him look like the a**hole in the meantime.

If he (general he) wants to stick his d*ck in someone he can take responsibility for his actions. And THAT is what I will teach my son. When he is older he can have all the condoms he wants. The time to protect a boy is BEFORE things happen. Not after.



No, I missed the part where she said it was a girlfriend. I misinterpreted what she wrote. I agree with everything you just said. ESPECIALLY the last part. I don't need history repeating itself over here.

Posted 11/2/20 4:41 AM
 

JennP
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

3986 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by RainyDay

Posted by LSP2005

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by LuckyStar

I’m assuming she knows at this point, 20 days later, she has a positive test and is definitely pregnant? If so, I think the rest of the story is irrelevant.

You are getting one side of the story and it’s from a young man who is probably (and justifiably) freaking out. I think it’s strange that she’s having unprotected sex with someone who isn’t the father of her 3 month old. I think it’s strange your nephew is having sex with someone who had someone’s else’s baby 3 months ago.

They were both dumb for what they did. But only one of them is being accused of “shopping for a baby daddy.”

One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.




Yeah...I am a “boy mom” as well, but also a woman myself, and this whole thread has me feeling super icky. So much for “trust women.” Sounds like he is admitting to sleeping with a woman who is now pregnant. He can and should get a DNA test when the baby is born, assuming the pregnancy results in a birth (which wasn’t clarified here.) I’m shocked by how many people are assuming this woman is the worst kind of liar....

I think everyone said he should get a DNA test. That is not calling anyone a liar. It is just making sure that the child is his.



Why would she need a DNA test if they are BF/GF. He should be able to believe her no? So the fact that so many are suggesting a DNA test comes off that people believe she is lying about being with other guys.



Exactly.

Actually, I really hope the baby is not his because this boy is obviously not ready to be a father and it sounds like he has a lot to learn about how to take responsibility for his actions.

Posted 11/2/20 4:53 AM
 

JennP
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

3986 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by JennP

Posted by FirstMate

Tell your nephew to ghost until a paternity test (if it manifests into a pregnancy) can be confirmed. I may sound harsh but that's what I would tell my boys.



You would teach your son to stop responding to the texts of someone he called his girlfriend until a paternity test is confirmed? That's not harsh. That's sexist, irresponsible, and downright repulsive.

I am a "boy mom" too and I get wanting to protect them. This does nothing to protect the boy. If he is the father it will catch up with him after the test eventually. All it does is make him look like the a**hole in the meantime.

If he (general he) wants to stick his d*ck in someone he can take responsibility for his actions. And THAT is what I will teach my son. When he is older he can have all the condoms he wants. The time to protect a boy is BEFORE things happen. Not after.



No, I missed the part where she said it was a girlfriend. I misinterpreted what she wrote. I agree with everything you just said. ESPECIALLY the last part. I don't need history repeating itself over here.



I read your other post - yikes! I'm genuinely sorry to hear you're dealing with that. I can't imagine what an emotional blow that must be. I especially feel for the girl. Ugh.

Posted 11/2/20 4:59 AM
 

JennP
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

3986 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by RainyDay

Posted by JennP

Posted by FirstMate

Tell your nephew to ghost until a paternity test (if it manifests into a pregnancy) can be confirmed. I may sound harsh but that's what I would tell my boys.



You would teach your son to stop responding to the texts of someone he called his girlfriend until a paternity test is confirmed? That's not harsh. That's sexist, irresponsible, and downright repulsive.

I am a "boy mom" too and I get wanting to protect them. This does nothing to protect the boy. If he is the father it will catch up with him after the test eventually. All it does is make him look like the a**hole in the meantime.

If he (general he) wants to stick his d*ck in someone he can take responsibility for his actions. And THAT is what I will teach my son. When he is older he can have all the condoms he wants. The time to protect a boy is BEFORE things happen. Not after.



We need more parents like you in this world.



Thank you. Chat Icon Doing the best I can.

Posted 11/2/20 5:00 AM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7790 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by JennP

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by JennP

Posted by FirstMate

Tell your nephew to ghost until a paternity test (if it manifests into a pregnancy) can be confirmed. I may sound harsh but that's what I would tell my boys.



You would teach your son to stop responding to the texts of someone he called his girlfriend until a paternity test is confirmed? That's not harsh. That's sexist, irresponsible, and downright repulsive.

I am a "boy mom" too and I get wanting to protect them. This does nothing to protect the boy. If he is the father it will catch up with him after the test eventually. All it does is make him look like the a**hole in the meantime.

If he (general he) wants to stick his d*ck in someone he can take responsibility for his actions. And THAT is what I will teach my son. When he is older he can have all the condoms he wants. The time to protect a boy is BEFORE things happen. Not after.



No, I missed the part where she said it was a girlfriend. I misinterpreted what she wrote. I agree with everything you just said. ESPECIALLY the last part. I don't need history repeating itself over here.



I read your other post - yikes! I'm genuinely sorry to hear you're dealing with that. I can't imagine what an emotional blow that must be. I especially feel for the girl. Ugh.



Thank you.

Message edited 11/2/2020 12:25:26 PM.

Posted 11/2/20 5:59 AM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

7984 total posts

Name:

Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

I'm wondering how op post turned into her nephew demanding for a DNA test. All OP asked was about pregnancy, symptoms and is it possible for someone to be preg or know so soon.

Posted 11/2/20 10:47 AM
 

Paramount
Sweet!

Member since 7/12

4287 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Updated at top.

Oh. And he is taking responsibility if it’s his.

He will not ghost her.

Fact is he won’t be a good father nor support to her. Not that he won’t step up. I’m not sure he is capable.

This just sucks on every level.

He had tons of condoms. He knows. He F’ing KNOWS. but they both talked eachother into how good it would be.

And at 21 NOTHING like this can happen, right? Oh wait, she has a 3 month old....

Posted 11/2/20 11:52 AM
 

Paramount
Sweet!

Member since 7/12

4287 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by hmm

I'm wondering how op post turned into her nephew demanding for a DNA test. All OP asked was about pregnancy, symptoms and is it possible for someone to be preg or know so soon.



I appreciate people laying that option out. I do.

This post did take a turn I was not expecting. However the gist is she said she was PG 9-10 after sex with no proof. So I am not wrong to suspect she is lying or was pregnant before she started dating him.

And thank you ??

Posted 11/2/20 11:54 AM
 

curley999
Family!

Member since 5/05

2314 total posts

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Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by LuckyStar
One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.



THIS 100%

Posted 11/3/20 2:21 AM
 

Paramount
Sweet!

Member since 7/12

4287 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by curley999

Posted by LuckyStar
One of my fears as a girl mom is that she and a guy will both do something stupid but only she will have to carry the emotional burden (not to mention the requisite slut shaming) for the rest of her life. All in the name of some “boy mom” not teaching her kid to accept the consequences of his mistakes.



THIS 100%



I agree with this too.

Posted 11/3/20 8:43 AM
 

DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!

Member since 1/07

9534 total posts

Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by Paramount

Posted by hmm

I'm wondering how op post turned into her nephew demanding for a DNA test. All OP asked was about pregnancy, symptoms and is it possible for someone to be preg or know so soon.



I appreciate people laying that option out. I do.

This post did take a turn I was not expecting. However the gist is she said she was PG 9-10 after sex with no proof. So I am not wrong to suspect she is lying or was pregnant before she started dating him.

And thank you ??



You're not wrong. Something doesn't add up. Starting with, why would you even take a test 9-10 days after sex unless you were TTC and stalking absolutely every single change in your body? Really, who does that? The only other scenario I can see where you would be testing that soon after sex is if the condom broke, or whatnot. However, the morning after pill is available at any pharmacy without a prescriptions - so if you didn't want to be pregnant, and the condom broke, testing like a crazy person isn't the best option.

Definitely demand DNA test. They are available during pregnancy, albeit a little risky.

Posted 11/3/20 10:01 AM
 

Bebelove
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/12

742 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

They can do a paternity test now during her pregnancy. He should step away until the test is done and they have results. Kids are so reckless sometimes. Does she really want 2 kids at 21? And he should have been more careful. I see people are upset about the DNA test. This is a lifelong commitment and he should know now whether this is his child or not. Is she still sleeping with the father of the first baby? Wonder if your nephew asked that question.

Message edited 11/4/2020 9:04:41 PM.

Posted 11/4/20 8:52 PM
 

Paramount
Sweet!

Member since 7/12

4287 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

We do not think she is pregnant nor “going through” with an abortion.

She has ghosted him as of 2 days ago.

Will
Update.

Posted 11/7/20 2:26 AM
 

valentinesbaby43
LIF Zygote

Member since 11/20

36 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by Paramount

We do not think she is pregnant nor “going through” with an abortion.

She has ghosted him as of 2 days ago.

Will
Update.



Fingers crossed for you

Posted 11/7/20 2:30 AM
 

RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3986 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by Paramount

We do not think she is pregnant nor “going through” with an abortion.

She has ghosted him as of 2 days ago.

Will
Update.



I feel bad for your nephew if she really put him through all that stress. Hopefully he will learn something from this. Chat Icon

Posted 11/7/20 2:33 AM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19454 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

Posted by Paramount

We do not think she is pregnant nor “going through” with an abortion.

She has ghosted him as of 2 days ago.

Will
Update.

this particular girl sounds insane. I truly hope your nephew learns a few life lessons from this experience.

Posted 11/7/20 8:21 AM
 

Paramount
Sweet!

Member since 7/12

4287 total posts

Name:

Re: Need help/advice - nephew might have gotten a girl pregnant

I am SO with you.

Posted 11/8/20 11:02 PM
 
Pages: 1 [2]
 

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