Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

This is one of those “am I the crazy one?” Posts I am just so sick of going to kiddie events and having kids cut in front of mine, take their things, etc, while their oblivious or unconcerned or nowhere to be found parent does nothing. I went to a kiddie NYE party tonight and we were on the unbearably long line for face painting when a woman “stops to say hi” to the woman in front of me and before I know it her two offspring are suddenly on line in front of mine. I was furious. My 75 year old mother was at the table with my autistic son while I took my other two boys up. I was anxious to get back to the table. This woman just totally nonchalantly cut me. Later on, I was walking out, after somehow magically being able to snag 3 balloons from the ballon drop (one for each kid!) and this little girl of around four grabs at one of my balloons and starts screaming that it’s hers. She had it in a vice grip. I was incredulous but hey - I have three kids- I get it. I said, no sweetie, this is our balloon, and kept walking. The girl would not let go of the balloon. I was literally almost out the door. Her mother was sitting down, pretending not to notice. I kept saying “no honey this is our balloon” but when we reached the exit I obviously wasn’t going to leave with the child attached to our valloon, so I sighed and said “fine it’s yours” to which my autistic son started yelping because it was his. After the line cutting, I had just had it. Anyway the girls dad I guess had been witnessing (and not doing anything) but when I finally gave up and I guess I had the nerve to be annoyed, he took the ballon from his daughter and stormed over to me, saying over and over “this is yours”. Trying to shame me, I guess, for just not relinquishing my child balloon to his child. Ugh I just don’t want to leave the house to go anywhere anymore. Neither I nor my kids are perfect at ALL but I watch them like hawks and correct them constantly in public. Was I wrong here?!

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

We were at a similar party (or maybe the same, if you were in New Rochelle) and I was reminded of how many crap parents exist. You weren't wrong at all. No one watches their kids and no one has any manners. It's disgusting.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Thanks for your response! Part of me felt ridiculous for engaging in a tug of war with a four year old over a balloon. But I was just so irritated that her parents were right there, not intervening, until I finally got annoyed and then they were huffy and trying to shame me. The balloon was for my autistic 6 year old. In the past I’ve taught my children the “turn the other check” philosophy- but now I think I’m just churning out doormats. I’m a single parent, one of my children has autism, I just don’t have the patience to be gracious with a$$holes anymore

Message edited 12/31/2018 10:49:47 PM.

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

I’ve started to avoid things like that because people don’t have any awareness or consideration for others. This is why I will never do a public Easter egg hunt again. We did the one at Suffolk County Farm this year and even though they divided it by ages there were still kids of all ages there, kids getting 15 eggs, etc. Because DS isn’t aggressive enough he wound up with none.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

I stopped going to those public kind of events with tons of kids and no parent supervision. I totally would have called out the other parent and said to her to get back to the back of the line. I have zero patience for line cutters like that. It would be one thing if she was there and said to you I need to keep my kids on the side, my friend is holding our spot vs cutting in like that.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

This is why I am slowly turning into a recluse.
People are unimaginable assholess and society is going to hell tbh

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Yeah. When they're grabbing and hoarding $2 plastic eggs, your kid (and mine) will lose. But when you have to impress a teacher, a boss, a life partner fgor the currency and things that really matter, I think the antisocial/sociopath people will get theirs.

Think about it, when you're in charge or allocating resources/making choices, do YOU root for or find for pigs/sociopaths? No one else normal does either. What goes around comes around. Take heart.

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Oh I’m not even nice anymore. After 8 years of this kind of crap from bratty kids and careless parents, I don’t even care. Unless it’s an infant or child that I can tell truly truly doesn’t know better, I’ll grit my teeth and say GET AWAY FROM ME. It usually scares them off.

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

I think it’s at all kinds of events. My older son played in a basketball tournament over break. For his last game there were a lot of little kids watching. They were ON the court in the middle of the game. The ref told them to get off multiple times and not a parent stepped up to do anything (it wasn’t a huge gym either)...

And my younger son does basketball clinic. One kid was pushing/touching/stepping on him the whole time. The coach reprimanded and but the mom sat and did nothing - well she was on her phone at the other end of the court. My son was screaming at him so someone would notice. I went over and changed their line order. Next week I will request that they are separated.

Parents are using outings as a babysitter and feel they don’t need to do anything when their children act like animals.

Message edited 1/1/2019 9:23:33 AM.

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

I couldn’t agree with this more. I literally sit on top of my twins who are all over running and I’m alone and still if one of my children even go up to another child I always redirect them to say please or if they go to touch something someone else had I quickly move my sons hand down and say no, someone else is using this, find something new. I can’t even count the number of times my kids have been pushed shoved, trampled over and parents do not care. I have my sons birthday party next week and I booked an early time and I’m hoping they enjoy themselves instead of being trampled. I NEVER do big public events like that because I just can’t. I take my kids places on the week days when kids are in school

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Part of the reason I don’t go anywhere. Kids are atrocious and the parents are worse. I also have a 3 and a 6 year old and I find it tough to find things age appropriate for both. I have to be on top of my 3 yr old which it makes it not even enjoyable. My husband works weekends so I’m on my own. Throw in bunch of jerky kids and parents and that makes it even worse. No thank you.

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

If you don’t speak up to the parents I don’t think you’re helping though. You can’t reason with a strangers child. The parents are ignoring on purpose. I don’t do kiddie things just because I dont find them enjoyable for this very reason. I feel like you either have to speak up and tell the parents to stop ignoring their kids ****** behavior or just not go to these things which sucks too. Can’t win.

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

No you're not wrong. That's why I hate going to these types of things. At the LICM this week I had my two year old in the tot spot play area for kids 4 and under being run over by 8 year olds who were running like maniacs and grabbing things out of his hands. Then at bounce he was waiting in line to jump into the foam pit next and these two obnoxious dads walked in front of us with their two kids and just threw them on in front of my son without a care in the world. The girl working there even said something to them and they just ignored her too. She asked the kids to get out of the pit so someone else could go next and the dads were like - they want to swim to the other side people will have to wait. I just walked away

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

I dont know why some parents/grandparents/caretakers are so clueless sometimes. The other day my 2 year old had just started playing with something at the library. A little toddler younger than ss came over right away and took away what he was playing with. Ds didnt put up much of a fight but was obviously upset and confused. The girls grandmother went to get her a different toy (logical thing to do, right?) But her grandfather called after her. "Dont bother , it's fine! " And I was just thinking "no, it's not fine to just take something away from a 2 year old as soon as he starts to play with it" So I said loudly enough that they could hear me to my ds "do you want it back?" And they got the hint. I was so surprised that the grandfather would blow it off as fine, even if the other kid was younger. It was a chance to teach their grandchild about being nice and waiting turns, and instead he condoned just taking something away.

Message edited 1/1/2019 3:24:41 PM.

Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

When I take out my young children I play bodyguard. I am not a fan of the places that advertise parents can sit and enjoy coffee while their kids play, I barely have time to take a sip of water yet alone drink a cup of hot coffee.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

i have 3 kids and after 10 years, i don't put up with it anymore. Kids should have manners. End of story.

When the parents aren't around, it is fair game! We were at an event where there was a bouncy castle and kids were on line. This one kid kept coming off the castle and cutting everyone. over and over again. I HAD ENOUGH! the poor kids running the castle were frustrated but again, they were just older kids and felt defeated. So i stood there next to them and blocked the kid every time he tried to cut. I told him he had to wait like everyone else. He screamed. He cried. He threw a fit. Each time. I didn't care. You wait on line like everyone else. No parent was ever found. The older kids running it thanked me over and over again.

I'm done playing nice. You don't watch your kid... then i am not silent and i will be that assh*le.

Teach your kids manners. Teach them right and wrong. Teach them to be kind.

I can't stand other people's kids anymore. I don't have the patience anymore.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Posted by aliwnec10

i have 3 kids and after 10 years, i don't put up with it anymore. Kids should have manners. End of story.

When the parents aren't around, it is fair game! We were at an event where there was a bouncy castle and kids were on line. This one kid kept coming off the castle and cutting everyone. over and over again. I HAD ENOUGH! the poor kids running the castle were frustrated but again, they were just older kids and felt defeated. So i stood there next to them and blocked the kid every time he tried to cut. I told him he had to wait like everyone else. He screamed. He cried. He threw a fit. Each time. I didn't care. You wait on line like everyone else. No parent was ever found. The older kids running it thanked me over and over again.

I'm done playing nice. You don't watch your kid... then i am not silent and i will be that assh*le.

Teach your kids manners. Teach them right and wrong. Teach them to be kind.

I can't stand other people's kids anymore. I don't have the patience anymore.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

I have a long time friend who allows her 4 yr old daughter to run around on her own. My friend had a stranger come up to her once at a children's museum and was told she needs to watch her own daughter because her daughter was constantly taking toys from the other children's hands and hitting other kids. Same friend got kicked out of a diner once because her daughter ran around too much and played with the condiments at every table and had an argument about it with the wait staff. I tried to understand my friend's parenting skills. My friend commented to me once her daughter is still young and just acting her age and it's cute behavior. And that when she tells her child no, her child doesn't listen anyway. Needless to say, I don't have many playdates with her and her daughter.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by aliwnec10

i have 3 kids and after 10 years, i don't put up with it anymore. Kids should have manners. End of story.

When the parents aren't around, it is fair game! We were at an event where there was a bouncy castle and kids were on line. This one kid kept coming off the castle and cutting everyone. over and over again. I HAD ENOUGH! the poor kids running the castle were frustrated but again, they were just older kids and felt defeated. So i stood there next to them and blocked the kid every time he tried to cut. I told him he had to wait like everyone else. He screamed. He cried. He threw a fit. Each time. I didn't care. You wait on line like everyone else. No parent was ever found. The older kids running it thanked me over and over again.

I'm done playing nice. You don't watch your kid... then i am not silent and i will be that assh*le.

Teach your kids manners. Teach them right and wrong. Teach them to be kind.

I can't stand other people's kids anymore. I don't have the patience anymore.

I do the same and honestly if I am not paying attention to my kids and they decide not to listen another parent stops them from doing the wrong thing I am fine with that. I think that all kids are capable of being brats and when they are not monitored the tendency for that behavior increases which is why parents need to watch their kids at kiddie parties/venues. With that said no one is perfect I watch my kids and certainly intervene if they are cutting or misbehaving but I am sure we have ALL had times where our kids have cut or done something without us knowing or seeing and in that case if another adult appropriately stops them from doing that I AM ALL FOR IT lol and I have NO problem doing the same with other kids

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Posted by b2b777

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by aliwnec10

i have 3 kids and after 10 years, i don't put up with it anymore. Kids should have manners. End of story.

When the parents aren't around, it is fair game! We were at an event where there was a bouncy castle and kids were on line. This one kid kept coming off the castle and cutting everyone. over and over again. I HAD ENOUGH! the poor kids running the castle were frustrated but again, they were just older kids and felt defeated. So i stood there next to them and blocked the kid every time he tried to cut. I told him he had to wait like everyone else. He screamed. He cried. He threw a fit. Each time. I didn't care. You wait on line like everyone else. No parent was ever found. The older kids running it thanked me over and over again.

I'm done playing nice. You don't watch your kid... then i am not silent and i will be that assh*le.

Teach your kids manners. Teach them right and wrong. Teach them to be kind.

I can't stand other people's kids anymore. I don't have the patience anymore.

I do the same and honestly if I am not paying attention to my kids and they decide not to listen another parent stops them from doing the wrong thing I am fine with that. I think that all kids are capable of being brats and when they are not monitored the tendency for that behavior increases which is why parents need to watch their kids at kiddie parties/venues. With that said no one is perfect I watch my kids and certainly intervene if they are cutting or misbehaving but I am sure we have ALL had times where our kids have cut or done something without us knowing or seeing and in that case if another adult appropriately stops them from doing that I AM ALL FOR IT lol and I have NO problem doing the same with other kids

I agree with this completely.
It amazes me how little people watch their own kids at times. I am a helicopter parent which is also annoying -- i try not to be but its hard.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Love this post bc I agree 100%. Look, my kids aren't perfect, but I make sure they are well behaved in public. They get very good praises when at school and at friends. I just don't understand some other parenting skills.
I'm not one to judge other parents bc I know it's hard, but there's no reason if you are around you shouldn't be there to make sure your kid is behaving.
Drives me nuts when I have to say something when a parent is nowhere to be found at a park. My kids are older too where I don't have to be on top of them, but definitly within earshot.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Posted by LiveItUp

I dont know why some parents/grandparents/caretakers are so clueless sometimes. The other day my 2 year old had just started playing with something at the library. A little toddler younger than ss came over right away and took away what he was playing with. Ds didnt put up much of a fight but was obviously upset and confused. The girls grandmother went to get her a different toy (logical thing to do, right?) But her grandfather called after her. "Dont bother , it's fine! " And I was just thinking "no, it's not fine to just take something away from a 2 year old as soon as he starts to play with it" So I said loudly enough that they could hear me to my ds "do you want it back?" And they got the hint. I was so surprised that the grandfather would blow it off as fine, even if the other kid was younger. It was a chance to teach their grandchild about being nice and waiting turns, and instead he condoned just taking something away.

Re: Aggressive kids - am I the crazy one?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by b2b777

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by aliwnec10

i have 3 kids and after 10 years, i don't put up with it anymore. Kids should have manners. End of story.

When the parents aren't around, it is fair game! We were at an event where there was a bouncy castle and kids were on line. This one kid kept coming off the castle and cutting everyone. over and over again. I HAD ENOUGH! the poor kids running the castle were frustrated but again, they were just older kids and felt defeated. So i stood there next to them and blocked the kid every time he tried to cut. I told him he had to wait like everyone else. He screamed. He cried. He threw a fit. Each time. I didn't care. You wait on line like everyone else. No parent was ever found. The older kids running it thanked me over and over again.

I'm done playing nice. You don't watch your kid... then i am not silent and i will be that assh*le.

Teach your kids manners. Teach them right and wrong. Teach them to be kind.

I can't stand other people's kids anymore. I don't have the patience anymore.

I do the same and honestly if I am not paying attention to my kids and they decide not to listen another parent stops them from doing the wrong thing I am fine with that. I think that all kids are capable of being brats and when they are not monitored the tendency for that behavior increases which is why parents need to watch their kids at kiddie parties/venues. With that said no one is perfect I watch my kids and certainly intervene if they are cutting or misbehaving but I am sure we have ALL had times where our kids have cut or done something without us knowing or seeing and in that case if another adult appropriately stops them from doing that I AM ALL FOR IT lol and I have NO problem doing the same with other kids

I agree with this completely.
It amazes me how little people watch their own kids at times. I am a helicopter parent which is also annoying -- i try not to be but its hard.

LOL, I am too. I just am ridiculously protective with my dd. I can't help it. My anxiety runs deep!
And yes, it's probably not the greatest, but it's still better than letting your kid run amuck!