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Check in for the week of December 18th
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babydreams21
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Check in for the week of December 18th
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Posted 12/18/17 7:22 PM  |
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babyvibes
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1350 total posts
Name:
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
I went in yesterday for a hysteroscopy because they saw polyps during the water sono. When I woke up from anesthesia, they told me they removed 14 polyps...they said that was a lot. I feel ok today, just a little crampy.
I'm on day 6 of Lupron and I go in 12/28 for baseline blood and sono. I'm supposed to start stims on 12/29.
Vent:
My husband was going through all of the paperwork with a fine tooth comb...I"m like PLEASE just sign! But he had something negative to say about pretty much every page. He doesn't want to do ICSI because of the increased chance of abnormalities. He's scared we're going to have twins even though we plan to do a single embryo transfer (I know there is always a chance of twins but he seems to think it's a crazy high percentage because of the way he's interpreting the paperwork), he doesn't want to do assisted hatching or freeze any left over embryos because of increased risks, etc. While I was in surgery, he was supposed to give a backup sample for cryo incase something happens on transfer day. I woke up to find out he didn't do it b/c he had questions and the nurse couldn't answer them and the drs weren't available. He also feels now that they removed 14 polyps we should just try naturally again. I'm like, No, I already took BCP and am on Lupron, I've wanted another baby for 2 years now, I don't want to stop the drugs, give my body time to readjust and get the meds out, try for a few months, and then be right back here 6 months from now. We've come this far, I just want to see it through. He is happy with just having one child (we have a 3.5 DD) so he doesn't feel the urgency that I feel. He doesn't understand why I can just overlook possible risks to me and an unborn baby by doing IVF. But he doesn't understand what it's like to be desperate for another baby and be depressed every month AF shows up, or with every friend/family member's pregnancy announcement. Apparently the nurse told him we should go to counseling because it's obvious he doesn't want to go through with it. Ughh, vent over 
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| Posted 12/19/17 5:57 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
Posted by babyvibes
I went in yesterday for a hysteroscopy because they saw polyps during the water sono. When I woke up from anesthesia, they told me they removed 14 polyps...they said that was a lot. I feel ok today, just a little crampy.
I'm on day 6 of Lupron and I go in 12/28 for baseline blood and sono. I'm supposed to start stims on 12/29.
Vent:
My husband was going through all of the paperwork with a fine tooth comb...I"m like PLEASE just sign! But he had something negative to say about pretty much every page. He doesn't want to do ICSI because of the increased chance of abnormalities. He's scared we're going to have twins even though we plan to do a single embryo transfer (I know there is always a chance of twins but he seems to think it's a crazy high percentage because of the way he's interpreting the paperwork), he doesn't want to do assisted hatching or freeze any left over embryos because of increased risks, etc. While I was in surgery, he was supposed to give a backup sample for cryo incase something happens on transfer day. I woke up to find out he didn't do it b/c he had questions and the nurse couldn't answer them and the drs weren't available. He also feels now that they removed 14 polyps we should just try naturally again. I'm like, No, I already took BCP and am on Lupron, I've wanted another baby for 2 years now, I don't want to stop the drugs, give my body time to readjust and get the meds out, try for a few months, and then be right back here 6 months from now. We've come this far, I just want to see it through. He is happy with just having one child (we have a 3.5 DD) so he doesn't feel the urgency that I feel. He doesn't understand why I can just overlook possible risks to me and an unborn baby by doing IVF. But he doesn't understand what it's like to be desperate for another baby and be depressed every month AF shows up, or with every friend/family member's pregnancy announcement. Apparently the nurse told him we should go to counseling because it's obvious he doesn't want to go through with it. Ughh, vent over
Well, first, that sounds like a judgmental nurse and I don’t think that was her place to say that to your husband.
Anyway, your husband’s right. This process does come with risks. However, if you’re going to look at the percentage of people who fall in the negative side of those risks, you also have to look at the overwhelming majority of people who come out with completely healthy/textbook outcomes.
Just to say it, my husband and I did IVF with ICSI and PGS testing. We had our very healthy, smart, wonderful son almost 4 1/2 years ago. This was from putting back two genetically normal embryos, so we had a decent chance of coming out with two from that cycle, even though we ultimately didn’t. Our son was delivered at 39 weeks 3 days via csection. Now, compare that to an old friend of mine. No fertility treatments. No risk factors. She conceived twins naturally and had them at 26 weeks or something like that. From what I hear, babies are doing well after a very extensive NICU stay. You never know how these things will play out. Putting yourself in a higher risk category doesn’t mean you will come out on the risk side of things, and vice versa. These are things you just can’t plan for.
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| Posted 12/19/17 7:13 PM |
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babyvibes
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1350 total posts
Name:
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by babyvibes
I went in yesterday for a hysteroscopy because they saw polyps during the water sono. When I woke up from anesthesia, they told me they removed 14 polyps...they said that was a lot. I feel ok today, just a little crampy.
I'm on day 6 of Lupron and I go in 12/28 for baseline blood and sono. I'm supposed to start stims on 12/29.
Vent:
My husband was going through all of the paperwork with a fine tooth comb...I"m like PLEASE just sign! But he had something negative to say about pretty much every page. He doesn't want to do ICSI because of the increased chance of abnormalities. He's scared we're going to have twins even though we plan to do a single embryo transfer (I know there is always a chance of twins but he seems to think it's a crazy high percentage because of the way he's interpreting the paperwork), he doesn't want to do assisted hatching or freeze any left over embryos because of increased risks, etc. While I was in surgery, he was supposed to give a backup sample for cryo incase something happens on transfer day. I woke up to find out he didn't do it b/c he had questions and the nurse couldn't answer them and the drs weren't available. He also feels now that they removed 14 polyps we should just try naturally again. I'm like, No, I already took BCP and am on Lupron, I've wanted another baby for 2 years now, I don't want to stop the drugs, give my body time to readjust and get the meds out, try for a few months, and then be right back here 6 months from now. We've come this far, I just want to see it through. He is happy with just having one child (we have a 3.5 DD) so he doesn't feel the urgency that I feel. He doesn't understand why I can just overlook possible risks to me and an unborn baby by doing IVF. But he doesn't understand what it's like to be desperate for another baby and be depressed every month AF shows up, or with every friend/family member's pregnancy announcement. Apparently the nurse told him we should go to counseling because it's obvious he doesn't want to go through with it. Ughh, vent over
Well, first, that sounds like a judgmental nurse and I don’t think that was her place to say that to your husband.
Anyway, your husband’s right. This process does come with risks. However, if you’re going to look at the percentage of people who fall in the negative side of those risks, you also have to look at the overwhelming majority of people who come out with completely healthy/textbook outcomes.
Just to say it, my husband and I did IVF with ICSI and PGS testing. We had our very healthy, smart, wonderful son almost 4 1/2 years ago. This was from putting back two genetically normal embryos, so we had a decent chance of coming out with two from that cycle, even though we ultimately didn’t. Our son was delivered at 39 weeks 3 days via csection. Now, compare that to an old friend of mine. No fertility treatments. No risk factors. She conceived twins naturally and had them at 26 weeks or something like that. From what I hear, babies are doing well after a very extensive NICU stay. You never know how these things will play out. Putting yourself in a higher risk category doesn’t mean you will come out on the risk side of things, and vice versa. These are things you just can’t plan for.
I totally agree with you. My best friend with no fertility issues lost her 3 month old infant to a fatal genetic condition. Neither her nor her husband are carriers for the disease--it was a spontaneous mutation. They are now pregnant again after doing IVF and PGS testing to try and do everything they could to avoid having another sick baby. You just never know what can happen. But he is a numbers guy and when he sees there's a 300% increase in risk with doing ICSI vs. not, no matter how small the percentage is (it's 0.8-1% btw), he sees that as a huge increase in risk and therefore doesn't want to do it.
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| Posted 12/19/17 8:34 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7983 total posts
Name:
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
Posted by babyvibes
I went in yesterday for a hysteroscopy because they saw polyps during the water sono. When I woke up from anesthesia, they told me they removed 14 polyps...they said that was a lot. I feel ok today, just a little crampy.
I'm on day 6 of Lupron and I go in 12/28 for baseline blood and sono. I'm supposed to start stims on 12/29.
Vent:
My husband was going through all of the paperwork with a fine tooth comb...I"m like PLEASE just sign! But he had something negative to say about pretty much every page. He doesn't want to do ICSI because of the increased chance of abnormalities. He's scared we're going to have twins even though we plan to do a single embryo transfer (I know there is always a chance of twins but he seems to think it's a crazy high percentage because of the way he's interpreting the paperwork), he doesn't want to do assisted hatching or freeze any left over embryos because of increased risks, etc. While I was in surgery, he was supposed to give a backup sample for cryo incase something happens on transfer day. I woke up to find out he didn't do it b/c he had questions and the nurse couldn't answer them and the drs weren't available. He also feels now that they removed 14 polyps we should just try naturally again. I'm like, No, I already took BCP and am on Lupron, I've wanted another baby for 2 years now, I don't want to stop the drugs, give my body time to readjust and get the meds out, try for a few months, and then be right back here 6 months from now. We've come this far, I just want to see it through. He is happy with just having one child (we have a 3.5 DD) so he doesn't feel the urgency that I feel. He doesn't understand why I can just overlook possible risks to me and an unborn baby by doing IVF. But he doesn't understand what it's like to be desperate for another baby and be depressed every month AF shows up, or with every friend/family member's pregnancy announcement. Apparently the nurse told him we should go to counseling because it's obvious he doesn't want to go through with it. Ughh, vent over
no advice just hugs. I disagree with penny. If the nurse suggested counseling its for a reason. I don't see the comment as judgmental, though it might feel that way, Fertility clinics need to be open and honest. Who knows what your hubby said to her. It cant hurt to see a counselor to help you both through this stressful time.
GL
Message edited 12/19/2017 10:11:41 PM.
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| Posted 12/19/17 10:11 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
^Recommending counseling is one thing, and sure that could be very helpful here. Saying to him, “It’s obvious you don’t want to do this”, by definition is a judgmental comment and it’s not her place to make that statement.
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| Posted 12/20/17 12:32 AM |
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MrsRo10408
LIF Infant
Member since 2/10 59 total posts
Name:
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
My husband wanted nothing to do with IVF. After reading all the paperwork it freaked him out even more. Fortunatly we had success our 1st cycle. He reluctantly did it again for us last year without sucess, and also did not want to freeze any leftover embryos( i did it anyway, which resulted in a failed FET).....i feel your fustrations 
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| Posted 12/20/17 8:18 AM |
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
I am just curious but does anyone know why there is a 300% in a genetic abnormality doing ICSI? Moreso than IVF itself?
I never knew this. That is a HUGE increase.
My first IVF I did 1/2 ICSI, 1/2 natural. I should have done all ICSI, because not all fertilized.
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| Posted 12/20/17 10:33 AM |
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CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...
Member since 8/11 3550 total posts
Name:
Cindy
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Check in for the week of December 18th
My DH did not want to do ICSI either....his reasoning was that he felt it was more "natural selection" with fertilization...and that cycle was 40% fertilization...our next cycle he also did not want to do it and we opted again to not even though insurance approved it based on our 40% fert rate and that cycle was 75% fertilization...
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| Posted 12/20/17 11:09 AM |
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babyvibes
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1350 total posts
Name:
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
Posted by HopelesslyDiscouraged
I am just curious but does anyone know why there is a 300% in a genetic abnormality doing ICSI? Moreso than IVF itself?
I never knew this. That is a HUGE increase.
My first IVF I did 1/2 ICSI, 1/2 natural. I should have done all ICSI, because not all fertilized.
Well unfortunately, like in most of the paperwork, there didn't seem to be a clear cut answer. It says something like "Although these differences might result from ICSI itself, men with abnormal semen analyses are more likely themselves to have chromosome abnormalities that can be passed to offspring." So it's not really clear if the ICSI procedure cases it or if the actual sperm used for ICSI carries chromosomal abnormalities.
DH doesn't have any male factor issues. But my clinic typically does 1/2 ICSI, 1/2 natural.
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| Posted 12/20/17 5:11 PM |
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babyvibes
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1350 total posts
Name:
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
Posted by CindySN23
My DH did not want to do ICSI either....his reasoning was that he felt it was more "natural selection" with fertilization...and that cycle was 40% fertilization...our next cycle he also did not want to do it and we opted again to not even though insurance approved it based on our 40% fert rate and that cycle was 75% fertilization...
My insurance covers it so luckily that isn't an issue for us. My DH agrees with yours in the whole "natural selection" idea.
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| Posted 12/20/17 5:14 PM |
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babyvibes
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1350 total posts
Name:
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
Posted by MrsRo10408
My husband wanted nothing to do with IVF. After reading all the paperwork it freaked him out even more. Fortunatly we had success our 1st cycle. He reluctantly did it again for us last year without sucess, and also did not want to freeze any leftover embryos( i did it anyway, which resulted in a failed FET).....i feel your fustrations
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| Posted 12/20/17 5:19 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7983 total posts
Name:
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
Posted by PennyCat
^Recommending counseling is one thing, and sure that could be very helpful here. Saying to him, “It’s obvious you don’t want to do this”, by definition is a judgmental comment and it’s not her place to make that statement.
I still disagree. OP did say her husband is happy with one. I wasn't there but if the RN picked up on that during their conversation then perhaps they should. The nurse could have phrased it better and maybe she did I dont know... none of us were there.
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| Posted 12/20/17 8:38 PM |
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CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...
Member since 8/11 3550 total posts
Name:
Cindy
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
Posted by babyvibes
Posted by CindySN23
My DH did not want to do ICSI either....his reasoning was that he felt it was more "natural selection" with fertilization...and that cycle was 40% fertilization...our next cycle he also did not want to do it and we opted again to not even though insurance approved it based on our 40% fert rate and that cycle was 75% fertilization...
My insurance covers it so luckily that isn't an issue for us. My DH agrees with yours in the whole "natural selection" idea.
I totally get it and thus why I didnt want to fight him on it. The whole IVF process is crazy and if this made him feel like nature was "taking its course" then fine. I was also lucky enough to have over 20 mature eggs to work with but had I only had a handful we may have had to have a conversation about it in more depth.
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| Posted 12/21/17 6:57 AM |
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babydreams21
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 3656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Check in for the week of December 18th
Posted by babyvibes
I went in yesterday for a hysteroscopy because they saw polyps during the water sono. When I woke up from anesthesia, they told me they removed 14 polyps...they said that was a lot. I feel ok today, just a little crampy.
I'm on day 6 of Lupron and I go in 12/28 for baseline blood and sono. I'm supposed to start stims on 12/29.
Vent:
My husband was going through all of the paperwork with a fine tooth comb...I"m like PLEASE just sign! But he had something negative to say about pretty much every page. He doesn't want to do ICSI because of the increased chance of abnormalities. He's scared we're going to have twins even though we plan to do a single embryo transfer (I know there is always a chance of twins but he seems to think it's a crazy high percentage because of the way he's interpreting the paperwork), he doesn't want to do assisted hatching or freeze any left over embryos because of increased risks, etc. While I was in surgery, he was supposed to give a backup sample for cryo incase something happens on transfer day. I woke up to find out he didn't do it b/c he had questions and the nurse couldn't answer them and the drs weren't available. He also feels now that they removed 14 polyps we should just try naturally again. I'm like, No, I already took BCP and am on Lupron, I've wanted another baby for 2 years now, I don't want to stop the drugs, give my body time to readjust and get the meds out, try for a few months, and then be right back here 6 months from now. We've come this far, I just want to see it through. He is happy with just having one child (we have a 3.5 DD) so he doesn't feel the urgency that I feel. He doesn't understand why I can just overlook possible risks to me and an unborn baby by doing IVF. But he doesn't understand what it's like to be desperate for another baby and be depressed every month AF shows up, or with every friend/family member's pregnancy announcement. Apparently the nurse told him we should go to counseling because it's obvious he doesn't want to go through with it. Ughh, vent over
Wow, so glad those 14 were removed. Hopefully that helps.
As for your husband. Uhh. Mine just signs where I tell him to and is not really involved in anything. If he read it all he would probably be like ummm what are we doing? Sorry he is being annoying. I think my husband is also happy with having one child. He knows how hard we worked to get him and says he is a miracle and should be happy. I am but my heart wants more.
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| Posted 12/21/17 7:23 PM |
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