Would you be angry?

So I had a baby almost 4 months ago. I've been back at work for 3 weeks. My mgrs have yet to acknowledge that I gave birth. Someone joined the team I am on during maternity leave. His wife just gave birth and they are all going out to celebrate. How would you feel?

Would you be angry?

Wow! That sounds pretty crappy! I'm pretty sure I'd feel hurt by that. Do they maybe think HE can go out because he doesn't have to get home to care for the baby, but you (as a woman) have to get home, so can't go out? NOT AT ALL saying that is right, but could that be their thinking - which would really suck big time too

Message edited 3/2/2017 12:02:15 PM.

Re: Would you be angry?

Did they send you anything when the baby was born or while you were out on maternity leave?

I know in my office we don't go out to celebrate babies or anything like that, but I did get flowers sent when DD was born.

But if they make a habit of taking people out to celebrate - like they are with the new guy- and they didn't do it for me, I'd be annoyed, yes

Re: Would you be angry?

Yes, I would be livid! I'm sorry!

Would you be angry?

Did you have a celebration before the baby was born?

Re: Would you be angry?

My first thought is he is there and the baby was just born, so they think they should celebrate. You were obviously out on maternity leave when the baby was born - out of sight out of mind. Believe me, I'm not saying it's right at all. Did they give you any sort of shower, card, flowers, congrats at all? If not, they are pretty insensitive and I'd be pissed.

Would you be angry?

This happened to me. It was my second baby and someone on my team had their first. I received nothing, they received a baby shower. I should add, the person that received the shower was a male.

Would you be angry?

I got nothing from them. Not even a reply email back when I told them I was in labor.

Re: Would you be angry?

Re: Would you be angry?

Re: Would you be angry?

Wow! That's really crappy! I can't believe you didn't even get a "good luck" when you said you were in labor.

I don't know what they are thinking. Maybe as a PP said, its an out of sight, out of mind thing? Is this your first baby? Is it his first baby? In my office, they send really nice gifts for your first and then nothing for any subsequent babies. Not sure what that's about but whatever. Maybe its a similar mentality? I'm not saying its right, but it's just another thought.

Re: Would you be angry?

Would you be angry?

Yes I would be mad. Do you think it was an oversite or there is a reason? When I had a baby my company sent a huge basket of all natural baby products and when my brother just had one they sent him flowers with a balloon on it and his wife got really pretty flowers from her company.

They didn't even send a company email or announcing you had a baby?

Would you be angry?

No I don't think it was an oversight. We are a fairly small team so when one of us is missing you know it. It was my first child and his first child.

Re: Would you be angry?

Re: Would you be angry?

I would be bothered for sure.

I worked with all guys and they even pulled together and did something for me before the baby was born. Then I got a basket mailed to me after the baby was born.

When I went back to work, we didn't celebrate the baby but everyone did ask how the baby was doing and congratulated me.

Would you be angry?

I had a somewhat similar experience. I adamantly refused a shower before DD was born (my boss wanted to throw one but I was anti shower). I ended up not getting anything. A few people gave me gifts once I returned from maternity leave but there was no celebration of any kind. Out of a group of about 25 people only one other had a baby so I chalked it up to them not really knowing what to do I guess.

I had a bridal shower before I got married but that was a different team.

I did, however, get responses to my announcement email and requests for pictures.

Re: Would you be angry?

Yes I would be very upset

I'm so sorry

Re: Would you be angry?

Yeah, I'd be pissed.

Re: Would you be angry?

Would you be angry?

I'd be upset that your manager didn't reply to your email announcing the birth, definitely! In my company we don't send anything, its' against company policy. Guess it also makes you see where you stand in your company.

Re: Would you be angry?

I'd be upset!

Would you be angry?

When I worked, we did office parties for new moms before maternity leave, unless they went out suddenly, and for new dads after the baby was born. So, this wouldn't bother me unless they did absolutely nothing for me. We usually only had parties for the first child, but there were sometimes exceptions.
Keep in mind that the new person might also have suggested everyone go out with him to celebrate.

Re: Would you be angry?

Message edited 3/2/2017 3:43:29 PM.

Would you be angry?

I would be extremely upset. Everyone at my job gets a shower for every baby. I didn't get anything with my second. With my first, I was due at the same time as someone who was due with her second. She went out early, so they cancelled the celebration and gave me a gift card. I felt like it wasn't celebrated like other people were, so I was bummed. We also have a weekly newsletter. So many baby announcements were made in there and people were welcomed back in them. Again, nothing was done for me. I would be extremely bummed if no one acknowledged it at all.