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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
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WWYD re: nursery school
We put 3yo DS in a nursery school program, 2 days per week for 2.5 hours. The first two weeks he went he loved it, had a great time, no issues. Now the last 2 times he has refused to go. My dad brings him and picks him up and he just won't go in the classroom and cries and cries until my dad takes him home. DH thinks we need to keep pushing and he will get over it. My dad admittedly gets frazzled that DS won't go in the class. I am at a loss - neither of us have a flexbile schedule that will allow us to bring him. He is going through separation anxiety but how do we deal with it?
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Posted 9/27/16 9:52 AM  |
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Salason
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Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
He realizes if he cries long enough your dad will take him home. I'd talk to a teacher about taking him in and making him feel more comfortable and tell your dad to just walk away. My DS had major separation anxiety at that age and that was the only thing that helped.
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| Posted 9/27/16 9:56 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
i would keep trying. Maybe you or DH can go in late one morning and take him yourself. Bring something familiar (toy, stuffed animal, etc) that he likes and can play with while he is there. Even if he cries, you need to drop him off and go...distract him with things while you sneak out if necessary. If he is crying when you leave, call in 20 mins and see how he is doing. The teachers should be very familiar and aware how to handle these situations and will be able to calm him down.
The problem may be now that he knows crying = going home when your dad takes him so it may be more challenging for your dad to take him.
Message edited 9/27/2016 9:58:37 AM.
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| Posted 9/27/16 9:57 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4520 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
It is very hard - I understand. The teacher just needs to take him from your dad and see how it goes after that. If he cries the entire class then maybe he isn't ready, but right now he knows if he cries for grandpa he gets to hang out with him instead of going to school.
Good Luck
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| Posted 9/27/16 10:30 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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WWYD re: nursery school
Thank you both for the advice - it could definitely be that he knows if he cries, he will go home. I think my dad is just totally unfamiliar with this stuff LOL he feels like he does something wrong that DS doesn't want to go. We keep reiterating to DS the schedule, who takes him, where he goes, what his reward is after if he does XYZ, so I think we just need to keep at it.
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| Posted 9/27/16 10:34 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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WWYD re: nursery school
yup... just keep pushing- have your dad just give him to the teacher and walk away LOL my DS did the same thing when he started nursery school at almost 3. cried at drop off for awhile. BUT his teachers would just take him, tell me to leave... and then would call me like 10 minutes later saying he stopped crying. a few times the director of his nursery school would take him for a walk to go " get the mail" ( the school was in a church, so they had to walk to the church office to get any mail) so that little bit of extra attention helped DS i think. As he got a little older, if he would get upset, i would tell him " I just need to go sign my name in the office...." that would be enough to get him to stay in the classroom, and then he would be fine. its definitely hard, but the best thing to do is just drop and run LOL so he doesn't learn that if he cries enough, he gets what he wants ( to go home with grandpa) GOOD LUCK!!! its TOUGH!!! i still deal with it once in awhile, and DS just started kindergarten!! (this morning i had to wave the bus away because he was crying-- i ended up driving him to school once he calmed down...)
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| Posted 9/27/16 11:26 AM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
Sadly, your dad needs to drop him off and walk away. It's so hard to do, but it has to be done to get him used to it. I am sure the teachers have worked with toddlers with separation anxiety before.
After a couple of days he might just cry for a few minutes.
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| Posted 9/27/16 12:22 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
You need to talk to the teacher and get her on board first. Then you need to have your dad bring him, and as quickly as possible hand him off to the teacher. Then your dad has to leave. He'll adjust. But giving in to the crying will not get you the outcome you want.
It's harder on you (your dad) than on your child, I promise. It's totally worth it in the longrun!
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| Posted 9/27/16 12:41 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
Posted by NYCGirl80
You need to talk to the teacher and get her on board first. Then you need to have your dad bring him, and as quickly as possible hand him off to the teacher. Then your dad has to leave. He'll adjust. But giving in to the crying will not get you the outcome you want.
It's harder on you (your dad) than on your child, I promise. It's totally worth it in the longrun!
This!!!
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| Posted 9/27/16 12:44 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7179 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
Posted by Lara&Aidansmommy
Posted by NYCGirl80
You need to talk to the teacher and get her on board first. Then you need to have your dad bring him, and as quickly as possible hand him off to the teacher. Then your dad has to leave. He'll adjust. But giving in to the crying will not get you the outcome you want.
It's harder on you (your dad) than on your child, I promise. It's totally worth it in the longrun!
This!!!
I agree...and better to ease him in now when he's younger. He'll be fine!
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| Posted 9/27/16 12:55 PM |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
Posted by Katareen
Posted by Lara&Aidansmommy
Posted by NYCGirl80
You need to talk to the teacher and get her on board first. Then you need to have your dad bring him, and as quickly as possible hand him off to the teacher. Then your dad has to leave. He'll adjust. But giving in to the crying will not get you the outcome you want.
It's harder on you (your dad) than on your child, I promise. It's totally worth it in the longrun!
This!!!
I agree...and better to ease him in now when he's younger. He'll be fine!
Agreed! My DS did this when he was in the three year old program. The teacher had to peel him off me and I just walked away. They always told me he was fine right after I left. After about 2 weeks he went in with no problems. Then he was home with me all summer, and we just dealt with it again going into the 4 year old program. Since Friday he's been fine. The 2 weeks before that he planted himself in the corner of the hallway. The teacher came, took him inside and I walked away. Talk to the teacher then talk to your dad and get everyone on board.
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| Posted 9/27/16 1:43 PM |
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MrsB12614
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1986 total posts
Name:
Mrs
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WWYD re: nursery school
I would keep trying. Your dad hanging round around is making it worse. As hard as it is, he should drop him and leave, regardless of how much he's crying. Him crying in excess then going home is just reinforcing the behavior even more.
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| Posted 9/27/16 2:59 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
Your dad needs to say goodbye, turn around and walk away. He will most likely stop crying within minutes.
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| Posted 9/27/16 3:50 PM |
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imyself
Member since 10/06 2938 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: WWYD re: nursery school
My little guy was in a 3 year old program last year. He cried everyday. The teachers would actually pry him screaming from my body as I walked out. He cried the full 2.5 hours at first but each class he cried less and less. He finally stopped crying around the end of may because he knew school was ending soon. This year he is at the same school but in a 4 year old program and asks everyday if it's a school day. He enjoys going. I think if I had given in and let him stay home last year I would just have the same thing this year. He needed the time away from me. It was hard leaving him crying but it was worth it.
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| Posted 9/27/16 4:00 PM |
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