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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by drpepper318
Posted by Chai77
A friend came to my wedding (which cost over $100 a head), brought a guest (not even her bf, she brought a female friend) and gave $25 in an envelope... she ended up having a small destination wedding for family only, so I did not get to return the favor when it was her turn, but you better believe if she'd had a regular wedding & I'd been invited, she'd be getting that same $25 back.
Geez...now I know people will say maybe all she could afford was $25 but even if that was the case, there was no reason to bring a friend.
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Posted 4/9/16 3:27 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Sixofus
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/13 594 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by alli3131
I would give what my normal gift would be. I don't do tit for tat. IMO it's childish and I don't even know what people gave me years ago.
Agreed.
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| Posted 4/9/16 4:00 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by drpepper318
I agree completely.
Even if he wasn't fully aware at the time of what the norm amount is to give at weddings, he would have had to guess it's more than $50... sounds like he was being cheap & honestly I think it's disrespectful to attend a fancy reception & give that little or nothing at all (I had quite a few people do this to us). $50 is a nice gift if you decline only.
The most I think I'd give in your situation is $150, if you feel like being extra generous. But $100 is totally fine.
A friend came to my wedding (which cost over $100 a head), brought a guest (not even her bf, she brought a female friend) and gave $25 in an envelope... she ended up having a small destination wedding for family only, so I did not get to return the favor when it was her turn, but you better believe if she'd had a regular wedding & I'd been invited, she'd be getting that same $25 back.
how is giving someone a gift disrespectful? 
gifts are never expected. what you chose to spend on your wedding is your business. i was happy to have people celebrate my wedding with me. getting presents was just icing on the cake. i can't imagine judging someone's financial situation or worrying about what they gave me.
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| Posted 4/9/16 5:30 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
I think $100 is fine. I usually reciprocate gifts. I figure people are comfortable receiving what they give. I would feel weird giving someone much more than what they gave me. Like almost "showy."
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| Posted 4/9/16 7:52 PM |
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by bunnyluck
I think $100 is fine. I usually reciprocate gifts. I figure people are comfortable receiving what they give. I would feel weird giving someone much more than what they gave me. Like almost "showy."
ITA. I would feel bad if I gave someone $50 and then they gave me $300.
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| Posted 4/9/16 9:19 PM |
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Come on 6 years is a long time, things change. This is why I had DH open all the envelopes at our wedding. I wanted nothing to do with this reciprocation and comparison nonsense. What if someone was out of a job? What is someone legit didn't know the "LI social protocol"..
He probably dosen't even remember what he gave for your wedding. He and DW will be thinking you guys are the cheapoes.
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| Posted 4/9/16 9:41 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
The tit for tat crap when it comes to wedding gifts on Long Island is absolutely bizarre to me.
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| Posted 4/9/16 10:00 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
This made me lol. We have a college roommate who is notoriously cheap and she was cheap when it came to wedding gifts. She was the last to marry. We all intended on just giving back what she gave but we all like her DH so much that we didn't want him to think WE were the cheap a-holes. Lol I think $100 is fine.
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| Posted 4/9/16 11:30 PM |
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beachbabe
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/15 731 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I would give $50 back
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| Posted 4/10/16 8:09 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Guarenteed this guy has no clue what he gave you 6 years ago. Lol I would give the amt Id usually give.
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| Posted 4/10/16 8:35 AM |
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babydreams21
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 3656 total posts
Name:
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Reciprocating wedding gifts
I had something similar happen to me but the person's wedding was 3 years later and they gave more than $50. I gave them $50 more than they gave me because I just can't be super cheap. My wedding was a Saturday night and $150 a person. Their wedding was Saturday day and maybe $75 a person. I still gave them more than they gave me but not my usual amount. If I was you and it's been 6 years I would probably give $125.
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| Posted 4/10/16 8:48 AM |
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JC297
LIF Infant
Member since 7/11 358 total posts
Name:
jac
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
When my friend got married I could not afford to give her what I wanted. I think I gave $75. She gave me $200 when I got married.
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| Posted 4/10/16 10:44 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I don't keep track of stuff like that. I just give what I feel is best.
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| Posted 4/10/16 4:57 PM |
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TheLorax
LOVE
Member since 2/06 5581 total posts
Name:
Suzanne / SuzBride
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I don't believe in tit for tat. i base my gift amounts on how close I am to the person and what I can afford, not their past presents to me.
Eta: I also don't give more for expensive weddings. I am amazed how many people seem to factor that in.
Message edited 4/10/2016 5:42:44 PM.
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| Posted 4/10/16 5:40 PM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I don't play these games - I give what I give normally. What people gave me has no bearing.
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| Posted 4/10/16 6:44 PM |
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mommyagain3
LIF Infant
Member since 6/15 144 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Give what you are comfortable with. Not everyone gives large gifts for occasions just because they don't and they probably don't feel slighted when they are given the same back. I couldn't give $50 but I probably wouldn't give more the $150 either and that is a lot less then I typically give.
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| Posted 4/11/16 12:39 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I give anyone what I would normally give no matter what they gave me. I like to assume, that as my friends, they gave me what they could afford at the time and I would never go tit for tat with someone over that. Not to mention, I couldn't even TELL you what a single person gave us at our wedding. Not one. I didn't care that much, I cared that they were there and had a great time and celebrated with us.
Don't even get me started on what someone paid per head and then feel someone should give in return......thats a whole other thread.
Message edited 4/11/2016 1:18:29 PM.
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| Posted 4/11/16 1:16 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Agree with everyone else about the tit for tat thing, and I would not give more simply because someone decided to choose a more expensive venue, or saturday night vs day, etc..
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| Posted 4/11/16 1:21 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
I had a list and still know to this day if I looked at it how much someone gave. It is too long for us to reciprocate so we just give the rate now.
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| Posted 4/12/16 9:16 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: Reciprocating wedding gifts
Posted by JDubs
Agree with everyone else about the tit for tat thing, and I would not give more simply because someone decided to choose a more expensive venue, or saturday night vs day, etc..
I agree. I don't care what you chose to spend at your wedding. Your choice. I have a set amount for weddings and I always give that. Same for baptisms, communions and bdays. No one is a special snow flake to me.
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| Posted 4/13/16 10:52 AM |
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