party and party invitation... question

there is a party this weekend. i referenced it when i asked about what to give, or rather, how much to give for a birthday/graduation gift.

yesterday, at dinner, the subject of "what'cha doin' this weekend?" came up and the party was discussed.

so here i come to you with some questions/points to talk about... you know, the way we talk about party etiquette around these here parts. and also how i recognize that i am so uncool and unhip that sometimes i need to be told that "this is the new way of doing things."

point 1:
would this bug you?
the party girl clearly had invitations made up... there's a lovely collage of pictures of her throughout her life and the party info is printed on it in a lovely font.
i got a text with a picture of said invitation. nothing more, nothing less. didn't know if this was my "save the date" or what. so i was waiting for the invite in the mail... nada.
then i got a text asking why i hadn't RSVP.
SO's older son is this girl's live-in boyfriend. it's not like we would expect to be on guest-list B.
would it bug you that she got these cute invites and couldn't be bothered to mail you one?

point 2:
the invite says that the party if from 2pm to 5pm.
the ONLY time i have ever been told when a party is to end is when it's at chuck e cheese... you know, a venue where you have to work on their schedule, like for kid parties. i've never been told that a backyard, bbq party had an end time.
is this something new that i'm not aware of? or am i so "un-couthed" that i come from people who party until the cops are called??? um, yeah, it has happened

ok... discuss
please talk all you want. reading this thread will get my mind off watching the clock until i hear an update about my grandmother... help a sista out.

Re: party and party invitation... question

Yes it's poor etiquette to print invites and not send you one. But do you think maybe they never had them printed?
Like maybe ,to save money, they designed it on Shutterfly say, and then took a picture of the preview and texted and emailed that out to everyone?

I mean, that would be really kind of, ummm, tacky, but is that possible?

As far as the end time- no I never really saw that for a house party. I mean even for a party in a restaurant, like a shower or whatever, I only have seen a start time. I then just assume the party will be 3 o 4 hours from said start time. I don't think they have to specify it on the invite, kiwm?

But for a party at a house, never seen that before and yes, it seems like they want everyone to know that they have to "get out" at that specific time!

party and party invitation... question

Regarding the invite: I agree with the PP that it's poor etiquette to not send an invite. If she was just going to send a picture of an invite, why not just text you "hey, we're having a party on..."? Do you know if anyone got a hard copy invite?

Regarding the end time: I don't see a big deal with it. But all backyard parties I've been to never had an end time on it. Maybe she's having rentals and wants to make sure people will be out in time before the rentals have to be returned.

At this point, nothing should surprise you.

Re: party and party invitation... question

1- I would think its a bit odd for them to just text me a pic of the invite instead of actually sending it to me. I don't know that I would be offended, per se.

2- If a party is at a house I don't usually put an end time but I can understand if they put it down to have people leave after a certain time. I know there are certain guests, at least in my family, who just happen to stay for what feels like hours lol.

Re: party and party invitation... question

I agree that the invitation thing was tacky.

As for the "end time"... I did that once for a backyard party ONLY because I NEEDED it to end at a certain time. There was a lot of drama happening at the time, I was post-partum and had bad anxiety and for my own mental health I needed to know that at a certain time, everyone was leaving

Otherwise though, yes, I do agree that its weird as I am SURE that people were talking about how I threw them out at a certain time way back when LOL

Re: party and party invitation... question

1. yes, it would bug me, but i'd chalk it up to they're young and stupid (or cheap)

2. usually don't have end times listed on house parties, correct. However, i've done it for DS's bday party once because i wanted certain family members to know it wasn't an open invitation to stay at my house all day.

Re: party and party invitation... question

I would go at 2 and leave at 5. I have more important things in life than to worry about if my invitation is the right one or why the hosts want me to leave at a certain time.

Re: party and party invitation... question

I don't see an issue with the party having an end time. DH and I have a number of parties, and we never put an end time; however, we put an end time on an invite for an upcoming celebration because we are having catering.

Usually, people show up at all times of the day and night when we have parties. This time, I don't want people missing out on the catering because they come after the food is gone. I certainly hope no one is feeling offended or anything that we chose to have an end time! I don't care if people stay past that end time either; I just want to define some sort of time for the party.

As for how the invitation was sent, I have other questions. How old are they? Did they text the invite to everyone? Is it more of a "friends" party where they don't want you to feel obligated to attend?

I would just go and enjoy it; I don't think there is any hidden meaning here.

Message edited 4/1/2016 3:24:00 PM.

party and party invitation... question

The invitation text is odd for sure. That's just not how you're supposed to do things but I'll chalk it up to young and dumb..

The end time - that's not really the norm but I don't see anything wrong with it. The first thing that popped in my head was this couple we had invited to our wedding who showed up 4 hours late (true story!!) so obviously they missed the whole thing. We attended a party for them and they showed up 4 hours late.. I wonder if some of the people on the guest list have this kind of lateness issue? That would make me put an end time on my invitations for sure.

Re: party and party invitation... question

I don't think it is a big deal. Texting is informal. I have emailed invitations. I print them out and hand out at my children's school.

The time is definitely nothing to be bothered by. I'm assuming this is a college graduation since she has a live in boyfriend.

You should be happy that you are invited to celebrate her birthday/graduation.

Re: party and party invitation... question

Maybe they ran out of invites? Once we ran out of invites and were 2 short, so dh and I just called our brothers and told them when the party was. They were obviously going to be there so it wasn't a big deal.