Would you rather...? An interesting question.

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine who unfortunately suffers from anxiety and is very fearful of death. We got to talking about children and she was saying how she can't see bringing a child into this world when eventually we all have to die. She stated that if given the choice, she would rather have not been born than live life and have to die someday. Like I said, she is very anxious and fearful of death. It got me thinking...do many people think this way? I know death is scary and inevitable, but would you rather have never been born in order to avoid it?

Message edited 3/28/2016 11:39:31 PM.

Would you rather...? An interesting question.

if she was never born how would she know what death is like

not sure how I would answer. I'm terrified of dying and the thought of actively dying and what it might feel like is very hard for me to deal with at time.

Message edited 3/28/2016 10:18:00 PM.

Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Quite honestly, this is a very odd question and I'm not sure how you could choose to not have ever been born. So you would choose to never exist? That's deep and somewhat disturbing.

Message edited 3/28/2016 10:16:39 PM.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Message edited 3/28/2016 10:48:12 PM.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Wait, is it just me or is anyone else having a flashback to an epic lif drama thread along these lines??

Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Yeah I'm not sure that what she is saying makes a ton of sense but I sort of get it. As a very nervous person myself I have wondered if I would have been better off without kids bc all I do is worry every minute. I think that makes a bit more sense than your friend's example bc you are sentient to experience the two options. If one of my kids died I would probably say the pain was so great that I would rather have never had them. Not sure if I would really feel that way but I'm sure it would be a thought. She sounds like she needs some therapy. It's terrible to live life in fear.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

I'm kinda confused but I've had so much happiness in my life (not like a goody goody lol),the memories of have of my family and friends and all the rest will always triumph the fear of death

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

If I were never born, I would not know what life is.

Life has its ups and downs, as the old cliche goes.
While there is sadness in my life (never having children, my mom dying at 72) there is also joy (my husband, my friends).
Life is what you make it to be.

I feel sad for your friend, that she can't see the joy in her life. I do hope that she is in therapy to deal with her deep anxiety

eta : my mom died after a 2 year battle with cancer. It was a hard struggle and she came to terms with her dying. She had pain and it was managed it with meds. The day she died was very peaceful. My sister was here with her 3 year old daughter who was playing and singing and mom could hear everything. After they left, mom's breathing started to slow down and dad and I sat with her holding her hands until she just slipped away from us.

Message edited 3/29/2016 6:17:12 AM.

Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Honestly she sounds like she suffers greatly from anxiety and needs professional therapy. When fears hold you back in everyday life, it's time to get help.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

I'm terrified of dying and never want to leave the ones I love BUT even with that fear, I don't ever wish that I was never born. I think it's a gift to be able to have lived, no matter how much time you have on the planet.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

very ODD question

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

It sounds like the quote it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Would she rather never love so she doesn't have to risk the pain of losing love? If she dwells on these things, her life won't be much worth living kwim. It's a strange question. Is she sick or otherwise a healthy person? If these thoughts and anxieties of wishing she was never born to avoid death prevent her from living a normal life she should def seek help. It's a sad existence otherwise. She sounds depressed. As humans we're aware of our own mortality but we focus on filling our life with positives instead of focusing on the end of our lives. Personally, I fear the death of my loved ones more than I fear my own.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

I suffer from an intense fear of death, so I can sympathize with your friend. My fear doesn't go as far as wishing I was never born so that I never have to face death though...I would rather live my life knowing that someday (any day) it will end than to have never lived at all. But like I said, I understand her fear....the fear of not knowing what comes after, or leaving your family behind, etc. At times its overwhelming, which is why I try not to think about it. But if it's truly stopping her from having children and living her life, then I think she needs to see someone. There are ways to overcome that fear or at least manage it better.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

I agree with others, it sounds like she needs professional help. I do fear dying but not to the point where I wish I was never born to not have to go through it.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

It sounds like your friend really needs to talk to someone about this. Crippling anxiety can be helped, and I hope that maybe since she opened up to you about this, you can assist her with getting some help if she is open to it.

To answer the question, of course I am afraid of death...I went through cancer treatment (chemo, surgeries, radiation) and there were days where I was convinced that the treatment would not work and that I was going to die. I really and truly had times during treatment where I was panic-stricken and convinced I was a goner.

It spun my perspective on a lot of things. I found passion in parts of my life that I would not know had cancer not happened. All of our days are numbered. We never ever know what will happen tomorrow - our lives can change within a moment's notice. But what we do know is that we are here today, and we can live life in the here and now and enjoy every moment while we have them.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Thank you all for your responses. She has been in therapy in the past but I don't think it has really helped her. She is adamant about not going on medication. Her anxiety seems to be growing and she has developed very bad health anxiety as well. I agree that she may also be suffering from mild depression. I wish I knew how to help her see more of the positives in life. Her fears hold her back so much at times. It's very sad. She is an amazing person and I know she would be such a great mother. Maybe knowing that her feelings and views are not the norm will be enlightening to her in some way.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Would you rather...? An interesting question.

I think dying is the easy part. Living is the hard part.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.

Re: Would you rather...? An interesting question.