Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

I need help. My life is so unorganized right now. I am 18 weeks pregnant and tired. Haven't been keeping up with the house. My laundry is piling up, house is a mess. My daughter being 2 and into everything doesn't help. Oh, and I work full time too.

How do you balance it all? Any tips on how to be organized and actually get sh*t done? I need a kick in my butt to get moving, some motivation. Help!

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

I'm also pregnant and I feel exactly the same. I get nothing done, and I need to before I get too big.

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

It's hard. First, I think being 18 weeks pregnant with a toddler and full time job is a lot, so you probably need to give yourself a break and not hold yourself to the highest standards on everything right now.

I have it easier, because I have a flexible job and only one child, but I feel like he is involved in a ton of sports/activities, and I sometimes work odd times (evenings, weekends, etc.).

First - I think it's important to ask for help where you can get it. From your DH or even outside help. I have a cleaning person who comes in twice a month. It's a luxury that I wasn't willing to let go, even when I switched jobs and lost some income. So if you can afford to have someone come in and help you with the more heavy-duty cleaning (scrubbing floors and bathrooms), even once or twice a month, it will keep things under control.

When I used to work in the city, I would try to really plan my meals for the week and only go food shopping once. I would try to make things I could prep the night before and then just put in the oven when I got home, or things that could be made in the crockpot. That took a way a lot of stress with dinner. I also tried to make things that we could get a few meals out of, so I didn't need to plan a separate meal for every night.

I would prioritize the laundry. And I find that while it's often tempting to let it pile up and do like 3 or 4 loads at once on the weekend, I do better if I do a quick load a night and then just fold it and put it away (versus letting it sit there forever, lol).

Maybe put a time limit on what you will do each night (like give yourself a 30 minute limit on cleaning up, organizing, planning, etc. after dinner) and then give yourself permission to read a magazine or watch tv. If you know you only have to do a little bit every night, you will be less likely to procrastinate -- you will get stuff done but also not burn out or make yourself over tired.

Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Umm I don't. I'm a hot mess. I have a 2 year old and an almost 4 month old. As long as everyone is happy and healthy that's all I could ask for.

I haven't been able to get to the grocery store.
I haven't updated dd1s baby book in a year. Haven't even started dd2s.
I need to print pictures and make photo albums
I have laundry up the wazoo and when I finally do it I never fold it or put it away.

The list could go on and on and on

Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Don't try to get everything done. Why so you can have a perfectly clean house and no clothes dirty?

My house is only clean now cause its on the market but normally the table it piled high with mail etc that we have to make a place to eat. Dishes are in the sink etc.

I clean on sat or sun and cook 2x a week. That's it. Once you let go of the need to have it all done it is so much easier. Embrace being a hot mess!

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

i have a 1.5yo and a 2.5 yo and work full time too
I am the type of person that needs a schedule...so that's what i do. Two nights a week is laundry night; and I have DH help me with it. I stick to a once a week shopping...we keep a running list on the refrigerator of things we need and every weekend one of us goes to the store.
My house is a mess. There is no way around it. My kids play with their toys, and the only time we do "clean up" is before bed. And by clean up, i mean take all the toys from the floor and throw them into the toy rack we have. The floors get swept once a week...and well the vacuuming and floor washing does not happen as often as it should, but oh well. My sanity is more important then clean floors
Do not try to do it all yourself!

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

I have a 22month old and am 23 weeks pregnant. I also work full time as does DH. I don't get it all done, but I also try not to let it bother me.

Laundry gets done weekly. It may not get put away immediately (that's actually my most hated chore), but at least it's done and clean.

Floors get spot cleaned when needed, and a quick vacuuming weekly (my Dyson handvac is a lifesaver). Real mopping gets done only when we really feel necessary, usually 2x per month.

Bathrooms get wiped down usually every other day with a clorox/lysol wipe, i.e. toilets, sink, counter, mirror - this only takes a few minutes in the morning or night.

I try to cook around 3-4 times per week, but that's not always an option. And usually when I do cook, it's super quick meals (i.e. burgers, grilled cheese, chicken quesadillas), or crock pot meals. I go home for lunch everyday so sometimes it's possible for me to prep something on my lunch break and throw it in the oven when I get home. Luckily DH doesn't usually come home until after 8, so it gives me some time at night to cook. Kitchen gets wiped down each evening when we're done with dinner (again, Lysol/Clorox wipes on counters, sink, and stovetop). We put all dishes in dishwasher and usually run it each night when we go to bed.

DD's toys get thrown into baskets at the end of each night after she goes to bed. I don't bother with them during the day because she's just going to pull them out again anyway.

Frankly, it's more important to me to have time with my family and a home that's at least presentable, than a spotless house.

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Posted by Bebelove

I'm also pregnant and I feel exactly the same. I get nothing done, and I need to before I get too big.

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

I agree with Christine, but I also think this is when DH has to pick up slack. I am in the same situation, both DH and I work full time, have DS, and need to share household chores. That being said i usually pick up all the slack there and do what needs to get done faster. When I was pregnant and sick I had to rely more on DH to do these things. I made him a list and he helped more. Maybe you can push DH to help so you dont feel so overwhelmed. It is hard!!! I also think the cleaning lady has saved my life. I hired her after DS came, and it has freed up a lot of my time.

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Posted by Bebelove

I'm also pregnant and I feel exactly the same. I get nothing done, and I need to before I get too big.

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Instead of giving tips which many have done I say:

Lower your expectations about everything (having laundry folded included!)

Prioritize (not just for the day/week but what will matter in 1,5,10 years from now)

Say NO (don't take on more than you can handle)

Go easy on yourself- you're doing great!!!

Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

We Outsource everything possible. It's the only way we get anything done...cleaning people, lawn care, automatic bill payment, take out food or prep everything once a week, laundry wash and fold service, etc. Also jettison everything from your life that isn't high priority. It's OK to tell people no and not attend every event. I put everything fit the month on a calendar it helps me plan and if I have too many events in a certain week I simply do not attend.

Message edited 10/21/2015 6:44:17 PM.

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

I'm not sure how I get it all done sometimes, but somehow I do.

I'm a teacher, and technically around 90%, not full time. That being said, I spend about 4 hours a weekend tutoring, and December-may I do the musical for my school. May I'm lucky to be home by 7 at night.

I meal plan and carefully grocery shop. If I need something quick, I'll stop after work before I get dd from the baby sitter.

Every weekend I do windows, dust everything, and vacuum/mop the floors. Laundry is done on and off while I'm cleaning, although I'll slmetimes throw an extra load on during the week. If I have a day off, sometimes I'll do everything twice during the week. I also have a super small house, so that makes a difference.

I suppose it comes down to dh and I being more homebodies. We do plenty of stuff with dd, and we see family every week. I also make it a point to meet up with friends at least every other week during the school year, and every week during the summer.

I think it comes down to priorities. I don't shop for fun, and I hardly watch tv-dh and I watch maybe 1/2 short shows a night after dd goes to bed. Dd doesn't take any classes right now, and I've never been someone to do play dates unless it's with one of my friends who happens to have kids. We used to be in bed by 830ish, but with dd it's more like 10 now so we have time together. I'm super organized though, and I tend to focus on what needs to be done.

Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Reading these makes me feel better. I guess I'm not the only one with a disorganized life!

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

There have been a couple of posts about this recently. If you do a search under FTWM for the keyword they'll probably come up.

I am a FTWM in the city with two kids and we have a pretty good system, but I agree with the others who said you have to be kind to yourself right now because you have a lot on your plate.

What helps us is this:

We pretty much leave laundry for the weekend but we divide it up among Friday night, Sat and Sun so it doesn't consume our weekend. Maybe once in while DH will do a quick load (he stays up late) but we understand that the week is survival mode and anything that gets done beyond that is a bonus.

We make sure we do something fun every weekend so we don't feel like all we do is work.

One pot meals whenever possible. We try to avoid loading/unloading the dishwasher every single night. We do a lot of tacos, nachos, grilled cheese, etc. (healthy versions.) Simple cleanup. Washing a ton of dishes can take longer than making a meal sometimes.

Make time for yourself even if it's 20 minutes. It'll make the hectic times seem more doable.

If you can't afford a cleaning lady just worry about the parts that need to be clean for sanitary reasons - kitchen and bathroom. The floors are sticky? The picture frames are dusty? No one cares. That is what I did when I was working part time and couldn't justify the cost.

Be organized. Have a system for paperwork that works for you. Hanging file folders, whatever. That way you are never searching for a piece of paper.

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Everyone has great tips here. I just would add that the cleaning person is so helpful! i have a 2.5yo and a 5mo and also work FT. When the baby was born I was going nuts trying to keep the house clean but I was sooooo tired. I sucked it up and got a cleaning person who comes every other week. Best. Decision. Ever! The only thing we clean now is spills or whatever from my son. Everything else can wait until the cleaning lady comes. Oh, and they bring all their own supplies so that eliminates me having to keep up with buying cleaners.

We only do laundry on the weekends, unless there's an emergency diaper explosion or something. So we do 3-4 loads between Friday night to Sunday. Some weeks the laundry doesn't all get put away until the following weekend but that's ok! You just have to be ok with not having a perfect house.

We only have time to go food shopping on the weekends, and we alternate where we go. One weekend is the supermarket, then the next is Costco. Target or BuyBuy Baby/Babies R Us we go as needed, about once a month. I keep running lists on my phone of what we need from each store to try to eliminate forgetting what we need.

I freeze whatever meals I can ahead of time or make extra when I do cook. So if I'm making pasta for dinner, I put an extra portion in for my lunch the next day.

DS probably watches more tv (iPad) than he should but you do what works. It's all about survival mode with young children!

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

To be honest- the cleaning suffers.
Nobody ever died from a dusty shelf or soap scum in the shower.

I'd rather spend my down time relaxing, spending time with my daughter, reading, do a work our video, etc- than cleaning.

I clean when company comes over. Other than that, it can wait

My priorities are different than most. I really couldn't care less about a clean house

Message edited 10/22/2015 9:20:37 AM.

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Another hot mess right here! I have a two year old DD and 10 week old DS. I'm also in survival mode right now.

My kitchen table is a dumping ground for mail, magazines, DD's art projects, and pretty much every piece of paper that comes into our house. Family room is an explosion of toys. Laundry is ridiculous. Piles of clean clothes that need to be put away. I can't tell you the last time I went food shopping. We do take out a lot and my mom also cooks for us.

It's so unbelievably hard and I'm still on maternity leave! I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I'm back at work.

Don't worry about getting it all done. Prioritize and be kind to yourself. One day at a time.

Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

You're going to need your sleep, so waking up before everyone to throw in laundry is not an option right now. I love the high chairs for this reason. Instead of them being into everything while I'm trying to get something done, they're in their high chairs coloring or doing play dough or watching baby einsteins/your baby can read in between tasks I sit with them and do projects, play with blocks or read so I do get that time in there.
This is when I can vacuum, mop, laundry, defrost dinner but I'm a SAHM so I can't give you advice other than that when you're home. The only thing I can offer is to maybe get some organization bins or boxes so you can organize the crap and hide some of the stuff in that box on shelves so it's less messy looking. I fold laundry when the kids are in bed otherwise they throw it all over like confetti. Half the time I'm falling asleep

Message edited 10/22/2015 10:16:00 AM.

Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

I am so glad I am not the only one. Thanks for all the tips. DH helps a lot, thank God. But a lot of the housework is still suffering. It is what it is. :)

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

Posted by h0peful2015

Posted by Bebelove

I'm also pregnant and I feel exactly the same. I get nothing done, and I need to before I get too big.

i'm in the same boat

Re: Probably discussed before but.... Balance?

I'm 14 weeks pregnant and have 0 energy once I get home. I also am a FTWM with a 7 YO. Between commuting, morning sickness and everything else I'm DONE when I get home. I just want to lay down and go to sleep.

I try to do what I can in the evening. I will usually spend about 20-30 minutes tops either sweeping, dusting or folding clothes. After that I give up. Doing a little something every day does help so the house doesn't get out of control. Cooking..LOL well either it's something really quick or we eat out. I don't have the energy to cook and clean up after wards..not now.

The thing I have the hardest time with is folding clothes and putting them away. We wash on weekends but I still have clothes to fold from Saturday It's the most dreaded chore in the house.

You are definitely not alone. I don't think anyone should beat themselves up. Being pregnant and a FTWM is not easy. You do what you can when you can but you also have to save your own sanity