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defiant almost 8 year old

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luckybug78
LIF Infant

Member since 7/08

246 total posts

Name:

defiant almost 8 year old

My almost 8 year old son is extremely defiant. He came home from school today and wanted to ride his bike over to his 10 year old friends house to see if they could have a play date. I said no because it's a school night. He said I can do what I want and ran out the front door to his friends. Now I am asking you folks to tell me should I have chased after him? And I'm tempted to lock him out of the house , but don't want cps to be called. When he returns, what punishment would you deem appropriate? I really Need to get a handle on this before he becomes a juvenile deliqient. Tia

On a side note if anyone knows a good therapist specializing in ODD that would be amazing! I am at the end of my rope.

Posted 10/19/15 4:14 PM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

4431 total posts

Name:
Karen

defiant almost 8 year old

First I would have followed him and pick him up kicking and screaming and brought him back to the house. Then he would be punished and the bike locked away. I firmly believe in consequences and earning privileges and if he is not obeying your rules then you need to be strong and follow through on your rules. As far as a therapist, I have not found one yet that is good with that age group. Contact your school social worker and they may have some referrals for you.

Posted 10/19/15 6:00 PM
 

olive98
LIF Adolescent

Member since 11/12

791 total posts

Name:

Re: defiant almost 8 year old

Posted by KarenK122

First I would have followed him and pick him up kicking and screaming and brought him back to the house. Then he would be punished and the bike locked away. I firmly believe in consequences and earning privileges and if he is not obeying your rules then you need to be strong and follow through on your rules.


Exactly this.

Posted 10/19/15 7:22 PM
 

bella321
Blessed!

Member since 3/09

1952 total posts

Name:
Kristy

Re: defiant almost 8 year old

He left for his friend's and basically got the play date he wanted?

I agree with pp. I would have followed him in my car, taken away his bike, electronics, etc.

Well behaved or not, an eight year old should not be riding around his bike alone. Do you know if his friend's parent was home or that he even went to the friend he said he was going to?

Sorry you are going through this mess.

Posted 10/19/15 8:16 PM
 

Kris78
LIF Infant

Member since 10/11

120 total posts

Name:

Re: defiant almost 8 year old

Posted by olive98

Posted by KarenK122

First I would have followed him and pick him up kicking and screaming and brought him back to the house. Then he would be punished and the bike locked away. I firmly believe in consequences and earning privileges and if he is not obeying your rules then you need to be strong and follow through on your rules.


Exactly this.



This. No way would I have let him go to his friend's house!

Posted 10/19/15 8:36 PM
 

luckybug78
LIF Infant

Member since 7/08

246 total posts

Name:

defiant almost 8 year old

Thanks for the responses. He didn't ride his bike, he ran away. He's getting pretty strong, much harder to handle physically. I didn't want to make a scene in front of the neighbors.

Message edited 10/19/2015 8:44:54 PM.

Posted 10/19/15 8:41 PM
 

TiggerBounce
The Prince & Princess

Member since 7/05

4939 total posts

Name:
J

Re: defiant almost 8 year old

Posted by luckybug78

Thanks for the responses. He didn't ride his bike, he ran away. He's getting pretty strong, much harder to handle physically. I didn't want to make a scene in front of the neighbors.



I struggle with this - not wanting to make a scene. I've gotten to the point that I'd rather make a scene and get thru to my child than not make a scene and let DS get away with things.

DS had moments of defiance, though I think he's to afraid to just walk/run away (out of the house) from me. He is 8 1/2, and has many signs of ADD - I am at a loss for how to proceed or what to do.

I don't care what DS thinks of me (let alone the neighbors or his friends)- what matters to me is that I'm raising him to NOT be disrespectful and understand that DH & I set rules for a reason, not just because we want to be mean.

Posted 10/20/15 8:17 AM
 

afternoondelight828
LIF Adult

Member since 1/13

3363 total posts

Name:
Afternoon

Re: defiant almost 8 year old

Posted by luckybug78

Thanks for the responses. He didn't ride his bike, he ran away. He's getting pretty strong, much harder to handle physically. I didn't want to make a scene in front of the neighbors.



The neighbors won't be there when you are bailing your son out of jail at 16 years old. Sorry to be so blunt.
I have 2 head strong kids and I know there are times I have to pick my battles but I would have went after him too in this situation.

Posted 10/20/15 8:42 AM
 

luckybug78
LIF Infant

Member since 7/08

246 total posts

Name:

defiant almost 8 year old

Thanks for all the responses. Very helpful

Posted 10/20/15 9:35 AM
 

Jacksmommy
My love muffin!

Member since 1/07

5819 total posts

Name:
Liz

Re: defiant almost 8 year old

I have a 7 year old, and while he hasn't done this, he definitely has his moments of defiance. I am actually meeting with him with a therapist from Hofstra next week. We have had this appt. for over a month.

Posted 10/20/15 9:16 PM
 

Adri
Joy!

Member since 5/05

3116 total posts

Name:
A

Re: defiant almost 8 year old

If he went, without your permission, he needs a huge consequence, IMO. If it was my son, I'd take away what he enjoys the most... playground time, electronics, playdates, football time, I don't know. For example, DS goes to the playground almost every day, I'd take away that for him for 2 weeks. Anyway, something you can follow through. I'd talk to him when everybody is calm, talk in a serious way. Also, sometimes I make DS write or draw about the situation, so he can think about it. GL!

Posted 10/21/15 6:48 PM
 
 

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