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junecookie
LIF Infant
Member since 11/12 91 total posts
Name:
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Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Every mom has preferences about people visiting their newborn baby, such as timing, must wash hands, cant hold baby, etc. Im pregnant with my 2nd. With my first, I had no rules and this time around there are certain things I want to avoid so now I have rules. But my question is about how you communicated your wishes to family/friends and/or how you plan to. Did you tell them before baby was born or wait till they actually came over? How did family react to your rules?
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Posted 7/21/15 11:02 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
renee92405
I finally hit 1000! woo hoo!
Member since 1/06 2294 total posts
Name:
Renee
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Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
The only requests I had were to make sure no one was sick and to please wash their hands. Also no kissing the baby's hands or face.
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| Posted 7/21/15 11:08 AM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
We didn't have too many rules. I was so happy that people thought kindly enough to come and visit. Most people were very respectful of baby's space and were great about sanitizing. I would just politley state your requests to close family and friends and they can pass it along to others if need be.
Message edited 7/21/2015 11:16:49 AM.
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| Posted 7/21/15 11:16 AM |
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junecookie
LIF Infant
Member since 11/12 91 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Thank you. With DS1 I enjoyed visitors but it got overwhelming bc I wasnt feeling well and I wasnt able to rest. One big concern was that we had family in our house day and night. Yes, they were "helping." Yes, they were excited and happy. But this time I want more privacy, quiet. Also ds1 is only 2 yrs old and i think we need some quiet for his benefit. So i want to kick everyone out daily from 1 to 4, including kicking my inlaws out. They live a few min away. Wondering if I should express my wishes before baby is born or after. And Im planning to have my dh tell everyone our visiting hours but Im afraid he wont take it seriously. I discussed with my mom and she said, if at 1 pm no one leaves, just take my babies up to my bedroom and say its naptime and people will catch a hint. Lol
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| Posted 7/21/15 11:37 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4520 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by junecookie
Thank you. With DS1 I enjoyed visitors but it got overwhelming bc I wasnt feeling well and I wasnt able to rest. One big concern was that we had family in our house day and night. Yes, they were "helping." Yes, they were excited and happy. But this time I want more privacy, quiet. Also ds1 is only 2 yrs old and i think we need some quiet for his benefit. So i want to kick everyone out daily from 1 to 4, including kicking my inlaws out. They live a few min away. Wondering if I should express my wishes before baby is born or after. And Im planning to have my dh tell everyone our visiting hours but Im afraid he wont take it seriously. I discussed with my mom and she said, if at 1 pm no one leaves, just take my babies up to my bedroom and say its naptime and people will catch a hint. Lol
I would mention that in the afternoon is ds is nap time and you don't want to disrupt that. Also be aware not as many people may visit for the 2nd as the 1st. My other suggestion is make sure people try and focus and include your older one and not really the baby as he will need to feel special.
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| Posted 7/21/15 12:04 PM |
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BsMomma2014
Fly high little one
Member since 6/10 2662 total posts
Name:
nicole
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by renee92405
The only requests I had were to make sure no one was sick and to please wash their hands.
Same here
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| Posted 7/21/15 1:36 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Had no rules for #1. My parents came into the delivery room after I was stitched up. I was trying to BF DD at the time and having my mom there was just too much of a distraction.
With #2, I told DH that I do not want anyone from our family in the delivery room. They can see DD when I'm in recovery.
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| Posted 7/21/15 2:14 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
I had one rule after my experience with DS. I wanted to hold my baby before anyone saw her, and I wanted DS to meet her first as well. With my DS, everyone was waiting and my DH went running out to tell them and I didn't get to hold my DS till I got very upset that everyone was keeping him from me. I'll tell you, it didn't go over very well with my in laws, my family understood, but DHs grandma told me I'm ruining this experience and being very selfish about it. His entire family didn't bother visiting my DD and didn't see her till we visited them a few months later, and they blamed me.
Hopefully your family understands your wishes and respects them.
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| Posted 7/21/15 2:36 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by mommy2B3
I had one rule after my experience with DS. I wanted to hold my baby before anyone saw her, and I wanted DS to meet her first as well. With my DS, everyone was waiting and my DH went running out to tell them and I didn't get to hold my DS till I got very upset that everyone was keeping him from me. I'll tell you, it didn't go over very well with my in laws, my family understood, but DHs grandma told me I'm ruining this experience and being very selfish about it. His entire family didn't bother visiting my DD and didn't see her till we visited them a few months later, and they blamed me.
Hopefully your family understands your wishes and respects them.
Wow. That's unbelievably rude. What is wrong with people??
Message edited 7/21/2015 3:04:07 PM.
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| Posted 7/21/15 3:03 PM |
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AliceCullen
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 1497 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by mommy2B3
I had one rule after my experience with DS. I wanted to hold my baby before anyone saw her, and I wanted DS to meet her first as well. With my DS, everyone was waiting and my DH went running out to tell them and I didn't get to hold my DS till I got very upset that everyone was keeping him from me. I'll tell you, it didn't go over very well with my in laws, my family understood, but DHs grandma told me I'm ruining this experience and being very selfish about it. His entire family didn't bother visiting my DD and didn't see her till we visited them a few months later, and they blamed me.
Hopefully your family understands your wishes and respects them.
Did they not put your DS right on your chest after you gave birth? I told my DH that no one was to hold the baby before me (besides him) in the event that I was out of it from the delivery. I would be so upset if that had happened to me.
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| Posted 7/21/15 3:05 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
I didn't have any rules. I won't this time either.
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| Posted 7/21/15 3:25 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by AliceCullen
Posted by mommy2B3
I had one rule after my experience with DS. I wanted to hold my baby before anyone saw her, and I wanted DS to meet her first as well. With my DS, everyone was waiting and my DH went running out to tell them and I didn't get to hold my DS till I got very upset that everyone was keeping him from me. I'll tell you, it didn't go over very well with my in laws, my family understood, but DHs grandma told me I'm ruining this experience and being very selfish about it. His entire family didn't bother visiting my DD and didn't see her till we visited them a few months later, and they blamed me.
Hopefully your family understands your wishes and respects them.
Did they not put your DS right on your chest after you gave birth? I told my DH that no one was to hold the baby before me (besides him) in the event that I was out of it from the delivery. I would be so upset if that had happened to me.
He had to be seen by the NICU doctor in the room because of meconium (sp?) thankfully he was perfectly fine, but my DH just assumed I had held him because he did, I still had to get stitched etc. it was just poor communication on my part too bc it was my first and I didn't speak up till I was very upset. but being rushed bc visiting hours were ending so they couldn't come back to the recovery room, it was just very overwhelming for a first time mom, so I made sure it would be different the second time around, but I caught major heat bc of it.
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| Posted 7/21/15 3:30 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by mommy2B3
I had one rule after my experience with DS. I wanted to hold my baby before anyone saw her, and I wanted DS to meet her first as well. With my DS, everyone was waiting and my DH went running out to tell them and I didn't get to hold my DS till I got very upset that everyone was keeping him from me. I'll tell you, it didn't go over very well with my in laws, my family understood, but DHs grandma told me I'm ruining this experience and being very selfish about it. His entire family didn't bother visiting my DD and didn't see her till we visited them a few months later, and they blamed me.
Hopefully your family understands your wishes and respects them.
YOU were ruining the experience and being selfish?
YOU... the one who just pushed the baby out of your who-ha?
YOUR baby?
I would have told that woman to kiss my fat azz.
UNREAL!
Message edited 7/21/2015 3:50:24 PM.
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| Posted 7/21/15 3:49 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mommy2B3
I had one rule after my experience with DS. I wanted to hold my baby before anyone saw her, and I wanted DS to meet her first as well. With my DS, everyone was waiting and my DH went running out to tell them and I didn't get to hold my DS till I got very upset that everyone was keeping him from me. I'll tell you, it didn't go over very well with my in laws, my family understood, but DHs grandma told me I'm ruining this experience and being very selfish about it. His entire family didn't bother visiting my DD and didn't see her till we visited them a few months later, and they blamed me.
Hopefully your family understands your wishes and respects them.
YOU were ruining the experience and being selfish?
YOU... the one who just pushed the baby out of your who-ha?
YOUR baby?
I would have told that woman to kiss my fat azz.
UNREAL!
 his side of the family just hates me, so anything they can use against me, they will. Oh the stories I have after being with my DH for 10 years lol, but they are all in and out of our lives over the years, so I don't let their bs bother me anymore.
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| Posted 7/21/15 4:02 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
I wish we would've limited the visitors at home. I felt like I had to entertain my in laws. They were not helpful at all. The first two weeks were chaotic with people coming and going. Also, if you give birth at night or evening you may not want people hanging around to see you and baby. I was exhausted, it was 11pm and my dad and FIL felt the need to stay.
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| Posted 7/21/15 6:39 PM |
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caps612
In love with my little guys!!
Member since 8/10 5108 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
i only asked that no one come visit sick and that they wash their hands (not hand sanitizer cause i hate that stuff...but wash with soap and water). As long as you were not sick and washed hands, you could hold baby. I will do the same this time. Family and friends are so excited that I don't think it is fair to hold back on them!
I didn't care who visited or when they visited. I had a HORRIBLE recovery from my c-section and was in agony for a good week or so. It was helpful to have people around being that I could barely walk.
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| Posted 7/22/15 9:51 AM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by junecookie
Thank you. With DS1 I enjoyed visitors but it got overwhelming bc I wasnt feeling well and I wasnt able to rest. One big concern was that we had family in our house day and night. Yes, they were "helping." Yes, they were excited and happy. But this time I want more privacy, quiet. Also ds1 is only 2 yrs old and i think we need some quiet for his benefit. So i want to kick everyone out daily from 1 to 4, including kicking my inlaws out. They live a few min away. Wondering if I should express my wishes before baby is born or after. And Im planning to have my dh tell everyone our visiting hours but Im afraid he wont take it seriously. I discussed with my mom and she said, if at 1 pm no one leaves, just take my babies up to my bedroom and say its naptime and people will catch a hint. Lol
I would say you want some quiet time for yourself. Nothing wrong with that, especially with having two kids!
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| Posted 7/22/15 4:10 PM |
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Alexandra17
Keep It Positive
Member since 4/09 6262 total posts
Name:
Alexandra (ali)
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Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
I really just want some alone time with me and my husband with new baby. Of course, my son can be there the whole time. I want us time.
I am still pretty mad at a friend's parents who came a few hours after DS was released from NICU, they didn't give him to me and were mad at me for getting him circumcised.
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| Posted 7/22/15 5:26 PM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
I have no idea weekday to expect this time. I didn't get very many visitors because my son was brought to Winthrop and I was in south nassau so people kept their distance so i could process my emotions. Only super close family and friends came and it was very nice. My son came a week before my planned c section so my parents weren't here yet. This time around they'll probably come a week or two early so they are for sure here. I'm not sure that's a good thing, lol. FIL is in florida and my patents are in Alaska,so we will have a full house for a few weeks when baby#2 comes. I'm going to have to find some rules! 
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| Posted 7/23/15 11:25 AM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by Alexandra17
I am still pretty mad at a friend's parents who came a few hours after DS was released from NICU, they didn't give him to me and were mad at me for getting him circumcised.
WTF is wrong with people?!?
Why don't people have any freaking manners. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
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| Posted 7/23/15 11:36 AM |
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junecookie
LIF Infant
Member since 11/12 91 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Posted by bunnyluck
I wish we would've limited the visitors at home. I felt like I had to entertain my in laws. They were not helpful at all. The first two weeks were chaotic with people coming and going. Also, if you give birth at night or evening you may not want people hanging around to see you and baby. I was exhausted, it was 11pm and my dad and FIL felt the need to stay.
yes yes and yes
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| Posted 7/23/15 12:47 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
We had rules, but they were limited. No one sick, people who would be seeing DS on a very regular basis needed the Tdap, no smoking near/around/before holding him - if you are a smoker and you wanted to hold him, clean clothes and recently showered, without smoking.
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| Posted 7/23/15 1:22 PM |
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alexb
LIF Adult
Member since 5/13 960 total posts
Name:
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Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
Never had rules with my first and he was fine.
Fast forward to my second and i learned the hard way.
At 8 days, she experienced fever at 104.7. We had to get her a spinal tap and we spent 4 days in the hospital. It was terrible!!! I literally was such a mess, i couldnt even formulate a sentence. They wanted to check for sepsis, meningitis etc.
So from this experience, i am ultra paranoid. People need to wash hands, husband/son need to change clothing if they have been out before holding her and i wont even have my two year son near her without being bathed etc.
Im crazy paranoid but after all she has been through, i dont want to chance anything at this point.
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| Posted 7/24/15 8:36 AM |
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EnV-McC
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/10 885 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
I think the one things that irritated me the most with my 1st was when people visited with their toddler children. It stressed me out because they were loud and would want to touch all the baby's things (not every one, but a lot of them). I didn't make a big deal over it because I know kids are going to be kids, but as a brand new mom dealing with nursing issues and just trying to adjust with a newborn- I would've preferred just seeing adults.
Also, I feel like everyone wanted to visit right away in the first 2 weeks (which again, are the most stressful). I wish people would've given us a little more space in the beginning and come around after 3 weeks and beyond because by then I had a little routine and actually wanted visitors! lol
Last one, I told NO ONE when I was in labor. I didn't want people showing up at the hospital waiting for me to deliver and then hovering as soon as the baby was born (I have aunts and cousins that do this to other family members). Only my parents knew.
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| Posted 7/24/15 4:20 PM |
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Puppy-Love
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1394 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Baby visitor rules -share experiences or plans
I gave birth at 5am and most of my family is out of town so no one was waiting at the hospital. This was very nice actually. I didn't want people in and out of the delivery room or rushing right in after the birth. We had a lot of time to get acclimated, shower and sleep an hour or two lol before visitors came. We had family visit twice and then 2 sets of friends. One def stayed a bit too long and was frustrating bc I was learning how to BF and her hub looked a bit uneasy but he ended up taking a walk with my hub to get something to eat. Next time I will just say leave lol or don't come right now baby has to eat!
When we got home - I did ask my immediate family (in advance) - parents, sisters, etc to have flu shots. I got some push back from one but they all did except for my FIL who cannot get one.
I put a note on the door that said please remove your shoes and wash your hands, thank you. Baby was born in the fall and this one is coming in december so I don't want germs and I don't want to have to clean my floors when I am exhausted!!!!
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| Posted 7/26/15 12:03 AM |
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