Almost 5 and a nightmare

DS1 has been a nightmare. I thought 2 and 3 were hard. Then when he was 4 he was getting so much better. He will be 5 in a few weeks and now arguing with me on everything. Some days he's really good and then I felt like this past weekend he was a nightmare. If I said he needs to go in time out he yells back that I should. If I punish him and say no toys he'll tell me I can't have my computer.
Stuff like that recently. The talking back is just bad. I do rewards and he had none over the weekend. Don't know what happened to my sweet boy who's always a pleaser. I hope it was just a bad phase these past few days. I think also us talking about him being 5 soon and needs to be a big boy scares him. Who knows.
Anyone deal with this? I do punishment, toys taken away, no Ipad, etc. All I here is he wants to be boss.

Almost 5 and a nightmare

yeah.. so I made her the boss. She has responsibilities. Its her job to do certain things. Be it shut off the TV, set the table, make sure my brother is told dinner is ready, feed the cats water, etc. Her whole day has become her being the one telling US she has to do this or that or we need to do this or that. But sure she pulled that other crap on me. And although its against popular opinion, I stomped that crap to the ground at the first sign of it (not physically). And when she cried I was relentless and told her don't be mad at me.. be mad at yourself because YOU did this not me. It took a few times but she got the point.

I love my kiddo and I adore her stubborn know-it-all attitude. She will tell you what's what without a moment's hesitation but I'm still mom and my word is the last and only word.

Just lately she noticed we always knock and wait before we enter into my brother's room. Just a few minutes later I was walking towards her room and she said "Yeah you have to get my permission first before you can come in" all fun and games no anger no fight nothing going on but.... I said "Excuse me!? Sweetie that room is *MY* room this whole house is my house, I need not ask permission to ever enter your room, got it?" and she turned around and said "oh yeah, of course. oops" yeah.. oops indeed.

I give her very little leeway on saying or doing things that I find disrespectful to me or my husband. Otherwise she's a spoiled brat (and I know it). But 5 is fun!

I always make HER in control of her time and activities. I give her choices A & B but she has to choose one of those or nothing at all (something she learned at 4 I guess). My way or no way type thing. But she'll choose and that's what she gets. So she feels in control. Ironically its me redirecting from an entirely different issue! Also when I want her to move on or stop I give her a choice. 5 more minutes or 2? At first it was always 5 and lately she'll think about it and say either 2 or .. "im done" and move on. But SHE is in control of that. She also knows begging for more time loses time she would have had.

Its exhausting when I think about it but its just part of my life. I spend the whole time I'm with her planning the next step in our redirection until bed time. And each thing is made up to her 'her choice'. LOL! Plus she loves her chore board. She tells ME when she's missing a smiley next to an item like "making bed" or "setting the table". You don't set the table, you don't eat. Fine by me. You know where the dishes are, get them yourself. (we keep them in the dishwasher so she can easily reach them)

Good Luck (and sorry for the long reply)

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