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Meg1234
LIF Infant
Member since 9/12 159 total posts
Name:
M
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how to handle a child ordering your DC around during a team sport
My child just started soccer. Coaches child is semi experienced, on said team and was telling my DC what to do, not to do. My DC of course just listened to the kid and stood there b/c the kid told my DC not to kick the ball, that they need to "take turns" (during a game mind you). Which actually really meant the kid was trying to stop my DC from gaining any access to the ball, so kid could hog the ball and have it instead. Would you see what happens next game or immediately say something to coach knowing it's their child? Problem is my child doesn't really know the rules so my DC just obeyed the other child and thought that was really the rule, that you just stand there. I want my child to learn and be able to be confident, not bossed around and learn the wrong rules in addition. So do you be that mom and step in next time or do you wait it out to see if it happens again?Please no quoting!
Message edited 4/6/2014 8:10:40 PM.
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Posted 4/6/14 8:00 PM  |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How to handle a child ordering your DC around during a team sport
How old is your DC?
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| Posted 4/6/14 8:07 PM |
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Meg1234
LIF Infant
Member since 9/12 159 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: How to handle a child ordering your DC around during a team sport
Posted by itsbabytime
How old is your DC?
6 but first timer at sport and a timid child
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| Posted 4/6/14 8:08 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How to handle a child ordering your DC around during a team sport
Posted by Meg1234
Posted by itsbabytime
How old is your DC?
6 but first timer at sport and a timid child
My DS is also 6 and plays soccer as well. I asked his age because I think at 6 you should not talk to the coach right now. If your son was 3 or 4 maybe but, not at 6 after the first game. I would first talk to your son. Explain to your son that the only one he has to listen to is the coach. If the coach is good and his son is giving your son wrong info - the coach will put an end to it. Your son will also start to learn the rules of the game for himself. I think at this point in my opinion if you said something to the coach re: his son, when your son is 6, after the first game, might create some bad feelings. I would start with talking to your son and working with him and taking it from there. HTH 
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| Posted 4/6/14 8:11 PM |
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Meg1234
LIF Infant
Member since 9/12 159 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: how to handle a child ordering your DC around during a team sport
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by Meg1234
Posted by itsbabytime
How old is your DC?
6 but first timer at sport and a timid child
My DS is also 6 and plays soccer as well. I asked his age because I think at 6 you should not talk to the coach right now. If your son was 3 or 4 maybe but, not at 6 after the first game. I would first talk to your son. Explain to your son that the only one he has to listen to is the coach. If the coach is good and his son is giving your son wrong info - the coach will put an end to it. Your son will also start to learn the rules of the game for himself. I think at this point in my opinion if you said something to the coach re: his son, when your son is 6, after the first game, might create some bad feelings. I would start with talking to your son and working with him and taking it from there. HTH
thank you. We did this but DC Is very timid when being bossed around my other kids who are more aggressive. Which is why we wanted our DC to gain confidence and try a sport (its a more low key league). We told DC to tell the coach when someone is telling DC what to do since it's no one's job but the coach to tell you what to do. Knowing my child, my child will still do the same, despite us telling our dc to speak up or tell the coach.  I can pretty much predict nothing will change based on DCs personality so i am trying to prepare myself and know when to step in.
Message edited 4/6/2014 8:16:00 PM.
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| Posted 4/6/14 8:15 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: how to handle a child ordering your DC around during a team sport
Posted by Meg1234
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by Meg1234
Posted by itsbabytime
How old is your DC?
6 but first timer at sport and a timid child
My DS is also 6 and plays soccer as well. I asked his age because I think at 6 you should not talk to the coach right now. If your son was 3 or 4 maybe but, not at 6 after the first game. I would first talk to your son. Explain to your son that the only one he has to listen to is the coach. If the coach is good and his son is giving your son wrong info - the coach will put an end to it. Your son will also start to learn the rules of the game for himself. I think at this point in my opinion if you said something to the coach re: his son, when your son is 6, after the first game, might create some bad feelings. I would start with talking to your son and working with him and taking it from there. HTH
thank you. We did this but DC Is very timid when being bossed around my other kids who are more aggressive. Which is why we wanted our DC to gain confidence and try a sport (its a more low key league). We told DC to tell the coach when someone is telling DC what to do since it's no one's job but the coach to tell you what to do. Knowing my child, my child will still do the same, despite us telling our dc to speak up or tell the coach. I can pretty much predict nothing will change based on DCs personality so i am trying to prepare myself and know when to step in.
Not sure how well you know the coach etc. but, maybe you can approach it in another way like what you said above, introduce yourself and your son - explain that your son hasn't played before and can be timid etc. and just ask the coach to kind of watch out for him and prompt him with the "rules" of the game or game strategies where he thinks it might be helpful...
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| Posted 4/6/14 8:18 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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how to handle a child ordering your DC around during a team sport
This happened to usurping basketball. My son was 6. Coaches son constantly told my kid to just pass him the ball all the time.
I never went to coach. My kid would have killed me.
Eventually he learned to tune the kid out. I would just tell your kid it is a team sport. They could not play without him. He is just as important to the team as coach's kid. Pass or dribble...it is up to him. You are just so happy to watch him play.
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| Posted 4/6/14 8:22 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: how to handle a child ordering your DC around during a team sport
I am surprised that the coach did not encourage your child to play if he was standing there. I see that sort of thing (a child told my DC that soccer was all about pushing when my DD said stop pushing me) all the time. I would explain how to play to your child forget the coach or the kids. But having said that I know that the coaches on our league will gentle encourage the kids to play or go after the ball if they are just standing there. I would not say anything to the coach other than maybe if speaking with your child does not work -that your child is timid and could use some encouragement on the field and leave the child out of it. Less awkward and should solve the issue.
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| Posted 4/6/14 8:29 PM |
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