Divorce & Toddlers

Long time poster - haven't posted in a very long time - but need advice...

My daughter is 4 years old and her best friends' parents are getting divorced (if it matters, they are a lesbian couple). My daughter LOVED the partner we are no longer in contact with (there is an untreated mental illness issue, so we aren't comfortable seeing her right now).

She has been telling us that she misses the other partner and has often mentioned her and we tell her that she's at work, because i have no idea how to explain to her the concept of divorce.

Obviously, it's not my problem, but my daughter is still being affected by it - as she truly misses the other person...and there is no way we will be seeing her as regularly as we did (at least 2-4 times a week). She adores the partner we still see, but she always mentions the other one...like, she'll tell my mom - 'we saw so & so, but not blah blah (and she'll get this sad voice), because she was at work again'... Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts on how to handle this?

thank you so much in advance!

Re: Divorce & Toddlers

I'd be honest with her and just say "blah blah isn't feeling well right now, we need to give her time to feel better...but maybe we can draw her a picture!" or something like that

ETA: as far as the divorce I think it might be a good idea to have a talk with "so & so" regarding what she has told her daughter. bc You could easily tell your daughter that "so & so and blah blah are taking some time away from each other" without actually using the word divorce BUT bc DD is best friends with the daughter I'd feel awful if my child went and said " i heard your mommies aren't together anymore" or whatever and that parent hadn't really explained it to their child. so that's something to be mindful of is making sure whatever you say to your dd doesn't get repeated in a possibly hurtful way to their dd

Message edited 5/6/2013 1:04:03 PM.