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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
How do you assign a person to care for your kids if you're no longer around? Does a Will need to be put in place for this?
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Posted 4/29/13 1:59 PM  |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
For it to be officially binding, a will needs to be put in place.
We needed to pick:
A guardian
A back up in case something had happened to the original guardian
A trustee to handle the money separate from the guardian
A back up trustee in case something happens to the original guardian
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:03 PM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
What happens if a will is not in place? Who gets the kids if nothing is in writing?
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:06 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
Posted by mommyof3girls
What happens if a will is not in place? Who gets the kids if nothing is in writing?
The court will decide from whomever steps forward requesting to do it. They base their decision on what they feel is right for the kids - which may not be the way that you feel.
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:13 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
Posted by ali120206
Posted by mommyof3girls
What happens if a will is not in place? Who gets the kids if nothing is in writing?
The court will decide from whomever steps forward requesting to do it. They base their decision on what they feel is right for the kids - which may not be the way that you feel.
This--and if several people are fighting to care for the children (likely from 2 sides of the family) it can be a pretty awful legal battle. It is EXTREMELY important to have this in writing.
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:15 PM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
Posted by ali120206
Posted by mommyof3girls
What happens if a will is not in place? Who gets the kids if nothing is in writing?
The court will decide from whomever steps forward requesting to do it. They base their decision on what they feel is right for the kids - which may not be the way that you feel.
Thanks. I really should plan ahead. My kids would be finacially set but we never spoke about who would take them if anything happens to us. The last thing I need is for my mother and MIL to go into a battle over this.
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:18 PM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
How expensive is it to obtain a will?
Sorry, if it sounds like a stupid question but I really don't know about these things.
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:20 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
Posted by mommyof3girls
Posted by ali120206
Posted by mommyof3girls
What happens if a will is not in place? Who gets the kids if nothing is in writing?
The court will decide from whomever steps forward requesting to do it. They base their decision on what they feel is right for the kids - which may not be the way that you feel.
Thanks. I really should plan ahead. My kids would be finacially set but we never spoke about who would take them if anything happens to us. The last thing I need is for my mother and MIL to go into a battle over this.
Unsolicited advice but you should consider your mother/mil's ages too. It's a very unpopular choice bc you can't just think in terms of how your mother is with a baby now at around 60. You have to think in terms of when your kids are all the way up to 18 and really beyond even.
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:24 PM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
Posted by lynnd126
Posted by mommyof3girls
Posted by ali120206
Posted by mommyof3girls
What happens if a will is not in place? Who gets the kids if nothing is in writing?
The court will decide from whomever steps forward requesting to do it. They base their decision on what they feel is right for the kids - which may not be the way that you feel.
Thanks. I really should plan ahead. My kids would be finacially set but we never spoke about who would take them if anything happens to us. The last thing I need is for my mother and MIL to go into a battle over this.
Unsolicited advice but you should consider your mother/mil's ages too. It's a very unpopular choice bc you can't just think in terms of how your mother is with a baby now at around 60. You have to think in terms of when your kids are all the way up to 18 and really beyond even.
This I know but I know both would fight about what side would keep them. I know I would want my SIL to have them and she would be more than happy to accept them. If it were up to her, she would just take them from me now.
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:26 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
I am not sure about the price because DH used a law firm that offered free services through his job but, I think it's pretty nominal. I believe there is an online company that will help you set one up as well.
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:45 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
Posted by mommyof3girls
How expensive is it to obtain a will?
Sorry, if it sounds like a stupid question but I really don't know about these things.
. We had our done in March. It was almost 1600. We also had a living will and health care proxy done. We choose my mom and than my brother. We also had our wish expressed that we would never want my MIL to have custody or visitation with our children. I feel soo much better that it's completed.
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| Posted 4/29/13 3:38 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
Also, just to add, it is possible to have two people share legal decision-making status. My brother has my sister as the first physical guardian because she lives much closer but her and I share decision-making proxy for our nephew. Similar to divorced parents where one has primary physical custody but they share legal custody. Just a consideration if you are worried about fighting between family members.
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| Posted 4/29/13 3:48 PM |
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MCD0524
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1199 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
Posted by ali120206
For it to be officially binding, a will needs to be put in place.
We needed to pick:
A guardian
A back up in case something had happened to the original guardian
A trustee to handle the money separate from the guardian
A back up trustee in case something happens to the original guardian
I had to do this. We also do our Health Care Proxy and also included if something happened to myself, DH and DS, who would get everything. It cost $1200 but the piece of mind is endless. I ended up choosing my Sister to be DS's guardian but there was more to it then that. I had to pick a few different people (my sister, DH and brother in law often travel together). I ended up setting up trusts and taking out additional life insurance once the lawyer explained how much $$ it would really take to raise children + 1st car, wedding, college etc. I wanted to make sure I left DS enough money for everything he would needI never thought about until the idea of my MIL getting her hands on DS made me crazy 
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| Posted 4/29/13 4:07 PM |
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Traysee
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 652 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to Quite the Dilemma
LOL, sounds like my MIL and your MIL should have a play date. My MIL is awful too.
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| Posted 4/29/13 4:55 PM |
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