Sleep help - big boy bed

DS is 2.5 yrs and it's finally time for him to come out of the crib.

We had to make the switch suddenly because DS went from showing no sign of climbing out to basically jumping out; fortunately I was able to catch him.

He screams when we leave the room and leave him in his bed, so we have to stay in there until he falls asleep. Then he inevitably wakes up and we have to go in there and do the whole routine again, which means he ends up in with us because at 3 am we don't feel like lying on his floor and holding his hand.

DH is fed up with him being in the bed with us and wants to let him CIO in the room. I am against this, because I don't want him writhing and screaming in a room all by himself. I fear he'll just collapse on the floor wherever, not on his bed.

Thoughts, please?

Re: Sleep help - big boy bed

Does he have a special nightlight? We use a night light and the twighlight turtle. They have helped us a lot plus a well established bedtime routine. After I tuck my DD in I giive her a "job" to think about what we are going to do tomorrow. I tell her as soon as she wakes up in the am I will come in to get her and she tell me all about what she thought about. i try to make sure she is soothed and calm then I hustle out her room and close the door behind me. She has been in a full sized bed since 25 months and has had ups and downs with going to bed at night, but for the most part has been good. I would try and change his routine so that you dont have to hold his hand and stop letting him sleep in your bed. Its reinforceing his crying and waking up because his crying is getting him what he wants. I did CIO as an infant but havent had to do it as a toddler because other techniques have worked well enough.

Re: Sleep help - big boy bed

What was your routine like before switching into the "big boy" bed? I just switched DD who is also 2.5. Before the big girl bed, her dad would read her a book and then I would rock her for 5 minutes on the glider before putting her in her crib. When we switched, we still had DH read her a book but then we put her in the bed and I laid down with her in her bed for 5 minutes and then would leave. She would cry bloody murder. Sooo we went back to exactly the same routine as when putting her in her crib, (dad reads book then I rock her for 5 minutes) then place her in her big girl bed. Worked great!!! She has had no issues since. She's now been in her bed for almost a month..... not tears and is sleeping longer than when in her crib. Good luck.

Re: Sleep help - big boy bed

This is what we went through when we moved DS into his toddler bed. He would not go to sleep unless one of us were in the room laying on the floor next to him. Sometimes we would be in there for an hour because the second DS would fall asleep (or pretend to) and we tried to sneak out, he would scream!! It came down to doing CIO, we just had to.

We stuck to the same routine we did when he was in his crib. DH & I would kiss him, turn on his sound machine and close the door. I think it's important to just stick to what you always do, don't change a thing.

We knew he was not hungry, he was not scared of the dark, we just said it was time to break this. It took 2 nights and was not bad at all!! The first night he cried, well screamed is more like it, stood by his bedroom door, got back into bed, got out again...this lasted about 45 mins until he got back in and just passed out. 2nd night, DH & I kissed him, said goodnight and closed the door, he cried for 2 min's and that was it. After that, he sleeps like a dream again and loves his bed.

I have to admit, CIO now was so much harder then when he was an infant..it tore my heart out hearing his scream "Mommy, please come" UGH!!! But, it's something that had to be done for all of us.

Good luck

Message edited 11/18/2012 5:49:16 PM.

Re: Sleep help - big boy bed

DH is the reason we still sit with DS when he falls asleep.

I don't mind CIO (DH hates it) and had DS pretty much trained. We started next to his bed, then each night moved a little closer to the door. The i stood outside his room with the door open all the way. Then each night I started to close the door a little more. By the end he knew mommy and daddy were on the other side of the door and he fell asleep fine. That lasted a week until DS wasn't feeling well and DH went in there to sit with him. NOW, he won't fall asleep without DH sitting there.

Re: Sleep help - big boy bed

Oh Boy... I went through this with DS as well at that age. It was a nightmare. He either wound up in our room or we'd stay till he went to sleep in his then he'd get up and if we weren't there he'd scream. It was also around the time he got his 2 yr molars. I also had a newborn in the house as well... Nightmare! I wanted to do CIO, but afraid he'd wake the baby.

Finally the molars came in and I cut out the TV all together (was letting him watch at night b4 bed bc he wouldn't go). I also took away his naps as well, which helped. Now we have a routine where we go through the day and say goodnight to everything we did (well, not everything) and then our fav things in our awesome big boy room. Took time and he finally was tired enough to go to sleep on his own and loved it. I also go in if he does once in a while get up to know we are here so not to be afraid of his room. He sees the camera and will look at it and say goodnight to me sometimes. Took some time and lots of sleepless nights, but he will get there.

Message edited 11/19/2012 11:50:22 AM.

Re: Sleep help - big boy bed

I am basically in the same exact position as you. The only difference is my DS is 3.5 years old and autistic. My developmental pediatrician basically todl me to put a mattress on the floor in his room close the door and let him cry it out or he'll never learn. I just CAN'T bring myself to do it. I just CAN'T!!!! If he was a typical child maybe, but not with his disability. I work full time and need my sleep. Now with a baby coming I foresee things could be worst. I am planning during Christmas break when he comes in my room around midnight to go and put him back in his room and lay down with him in his bed. Hoping he gets the message he has to stay in his bed and not come to mine. If that doesn't work I will have to move my 2 year old to another part of the house to sleep and fight my 3 year old every night and loose my sleep for as long as it takes until he gets the message. I am dreading it does not come to that. This has been going on for about 9 months now. I wish you lots of luck!!!!!

Re: Sleep help - big boy bed

Thanks so much for your ideas everyone!

I will definitely try what was suggested.

Our routine before was that he would go to sleep in his crib on his own; we had done CIO but I was hesitant to do it with him out of the crib.

I hate hearing him scream for me.