spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers

My son is 15 months old...and contrary to what some people expressed in the other thread HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT NO MEANS. He even knows how to say it while waving his finger like mommy does. When he is about to do something he knows i don't want him to he looks back at me...says "na na na" while waving his pointer finger at me...then he smiles and does it anyway. How do you teach them to listen and not do the things they shouldn't at this time when they kind of understand but cannot communicate? I'm trying to get my son to stop climbing things....we have baby proofed but we have radiators and he will take a toy and pull it over to climb into the radiator...or when we go to the basement he is CONSTANTLY climbing DH's office chair to try to get to the desk and whatever is on it. I've tried redirecting over and over, I've tried "time out" where i sat with him in the corner and held him, I've said no a million times in so many different ways and yes...I even got frustrated and swatted his butt to see if that would work.

how do you handle this stage and get them to stop without losing your cool or swatting?

Message edited 10/29/2012 12:43:01 PM.

Re: spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers

I agree with you- B is 23 1/2 months and he DEFINITELY has known no for a while- and he also will look at me with this wicked grin and say "Mommy" and then do something he knows he isnt supposed to

My current method can't continue- I actually lock myself in the bathroom, it is the only way that he really cares/understands that he has done something wrong. And I need him to get that he can't stand on my dining room table and jump off, or like your lo, climb the radiators!

I'd love to hear ideas on what to do!

Re: spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers

I'm actually very calm too...everyone around me always tells me they believe my son is so calm and well behaved because I am so calm. I let him explore...I always try to look at things from the perspective that he is a tiny explorer or tiny scientist who is always learning about the world and his environment through his everyday actions...but sometimes his actions are dangerous...my son is a daredevil! that's when I have to put my foot down and try to teach him that he could get badly hurt. I just don't feel anything quite works yet.

Re: spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers

Well when ever AJ is going off on a tangent of just being crazy kiddo ... i just redirect to another safer smiliar thing. So we built stuff in the living room and let her climb to heart's delight. Over and over. Made a slide out of her nap mat.

I said in the other thread. For me its more about WHY instead of what. So for that the why is just to 'grow' if you will. At least with AJ it was. She was never told no for that. So we just took her out to a park and let her climb. Scared me half to death how brave she'd be.

I was THAT mom standing under her as she climbed the wall up at 2yrs old. BARELY able to reach the holds. Other moms in the park would whipser it was wrong but I dont care. She was always safe. I'd be that Mom IN the slide or bars with her. HOPING my weight wasn't too much. She also randomly would say "im done" and just hang there so I'd have to let her down.

Redirecting to another project only makes her realize she didn't get what she wanted. So instead I just let her 'think' shes going to get what she wanted and modify it. Then as we climbed over the makeshift living room jungle I taught her about tents. So we layered sheets up on the items and crawled through and around.

Distraction!

But I almost ALWAYS start with what she wanted to do then slowly move off to something else. (almost always being as long as its safe and I can control it).

She had nothing she could climb on but the couch for a long while. On purpose. we knew she'd want to but with enough other distractions and that walk around excerise center she kept a low profile with climbing.

Though at 4 she still loves tents!



ETA: Oh and you CANT climb on the tent it will break - says mama

Message edited 10/29/2012 1:12:54 PM.

Re: spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers

see, I feel like I've done that. He has a playset / slide we just got and put INSIDE his playroom to help him get that climbing out of his system...but when i'm in there with him he just wants to run out of the room and climb something else. For christmas he's getting a trampoline and ball pitt...soon my home will be the local kids amusement park lol.

Re: spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers

What ever you do, it needs to be consistent and a constant. You mentioned that you "hold" him in time out and if you have to hold him, then it really isn't a time out. I would continue to work on Time outs and I would take away the toys he uses to climb on things. This is a hard age but it doesn't get easier. They just get better at finding loop holes. And, he's climbing on the things you don't want him to climb on because he's getting a reaction from YOU. Try, instead to just remove him from the object he's climbing on and sitting him on the floor or removing him from the room without a reaction from you? It won't work the first time or the second time or the third time but he just may give up by then since he isn't getting your reaction any more. Remember behavior is typically done to get something they want or to avoid something they don't want. Figure that out and you can change that behavior.

Re: spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers

Message edited 10/29/2012 2:40:48 PM.

Re: spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers

Consistency, patience and alcohol for mommy and daddy. A lot of each, especially the alcohol. They do get it eventually.

Re: spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers

I have the same issue with my DD. she knows she's not supposed to do something and looks at me, smiles and does it anyway. I have tried the distraction, the removing her from the situation, the telling her no 100 times. She laughs at me when I tell her no. I put her in time outs in a safe room with no books or toys by herself which made her cry but didn't make her stop doing what she was doing. I'm at a loss as well!!! DD is 18 months.

spinoff to

Are you sure he won't sit for time out? My DD is the same age and I never thought she would, but she does. She knows what time out is and doesn't get up until I go get her.

Re: spinoff to "nevermind" thread...toddlers