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CDiggity
LIF Infant
Member since 12/09 280 total posts
Name:
C
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I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
My heart is breaking right now but I have no idea
what else to do. My dd is 2 weeks old and for the past 2 nights my older ds will not fall asleep. Last night we were up till 3 with him. Going in... rocking... rubbing his back. He finally just passed out from exhaustion. Tonight we are lettinghim cry. Hes been crying for over an hour and is still not laying down. I know hes scared and confused and I feel so bad. Is there anything I can do? Anyone go through this?
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Posted 9/30/12 9:44 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9924 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
CIO is hard when they're older, but hang tough....tomorrow he will cry less and the day after that he will cry less. And by the fourth day...there will be NO CRYING AT ALL. I promise. Be strong. Dont cave. I used to get through it by telling myself that I would have made him cry all this time for nothing. You WILL get through this. DS WILL get through this
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| Posted 9/30/12 9:55 PM |
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gottaluvmusik
Just the 4 of us
Member since 12/06 3554 total posts
Name:
Andrea
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
I remember doing CIO with cadi. It is so painful for you as the parent and you have the hormones going too. I promise it gets so much better after a couple of days.
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| Posted 9/30/12 9:58 PM |
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CDiggity
LIF Infant
Member since 12/09 280 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
Please tell me I'm not scarring him for life. This is the only way? Hes still up 1 1/2 later
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| Posted 9/30/12 10:00 PM |
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CDiggity
LIF Infant
Member since 12/09 280 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
An hour and 38 minutes and hes asleep and I'm still crying
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| Posted 9/30/12 10:13 PM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
It gets easier.
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| Posted 9/30/12 10:23 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
Let me preface this by saying I don't believe in CIO so my opinion may not be wanted here, but if I DID believe in it I wouldn't be doing it so soon after the new baby. You toddler just had his life turned upside down, and it's a huge change that will take some getting used to. He is probably just looking for a little extra attention from mommy, which is totally normal. Maybe you can take a little extra alone time for him when baby is sleeping?
FTR, I'm in the same boat with my 2 year old and 5 week old. It's really difficult to balance things but things will get easier 
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| Posted 9/30/12 10:43 PM |
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CDiggity
LIF Infant
Member since 12/09 280 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
I agree and I rather not do CIO especially after a new baby. But after the past few nights thats all i can think of. That's why I was posting on here. I had mommy time w him at the park today. Ive spent extra time at bedtime. I really don't know what else to do.
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| Posted 9/30/12 10:59 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
Would he fall asleep in your room? Set up a little bed next to yours? I'm thinking he just needs a little TLC right now. CIO just seems too upsetting for both of you!
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| Posted 9/30/12 11:43 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
How old is he? If he cannot communicate, I would do modified CIO. If he can offer him rewards for staying in bed and falling asleep. Maybe give him a special new toy or stuffed animal, or a soft book he can take to bed.
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| Posted 10/1/12 12:54 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17796 total posts
Name:
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I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
We had major sleep issues with DS 1 when DS 2 arrived - the baby was sleeping better at night.
We did CIO a few weeks after the baby ws born and we moved ds 1 to a bed. It made a huge difference qfter the first night.
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| Posted 10/1/12 6:29 AM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
Posted by InShock
Would he fall asleep in your room? Set up a little bed next to yours? I'm thinking he just needs a little TLC right now. CIO just seems too upsetting for both of you!
yes, this is what Im thinking...
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| Posted 10/1/12 7:40 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
Posted by OrganicMama
Let me preface this by saying I don't believe in CIO so my opinion may not be wanted here, but if I DID believe in it I wouldn't be doing it so soon after the new baby. You toddler just had his life turned upside down, and it's a huge change that will take some getting used to. He is probably just looking for a little extra attention from mommy, which is totally normal. Maybe you can take a little extra alone time for him when baby is sleeping?
FTR, I'm in the same boat with my 2 year old and 5 week old. It's really difficult to balance things but things will get easier
I couldn't agree more.
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| Posted 10/1/12 8:05 AM |
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ny55angel
car seat tech & geek :-)
Member since 2/06 4346 total posts
Name:
P
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I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
I'm not a CIO mom, its just too much stress and anxiety for me (and DS) I'm not in your situation yet, but what about modifying bedtime for DS a bit. Come up with a new routine, let him help you get an outfit for DD, or get a diaper, etc. Read an extra book with him, try to set apart specific cuddle time.
Good luck!!
Message edited 10/1/2012 8:37:12 AM.
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| Posted 10/1/12 8:34 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
Posted by bettybcafe
Posted by InShock
Would he fall asleep in your room? Set up a little bed next to yours? I'm thinking he just needs a little TLC right now. CIO just seems too upsetting for both of you!
yes, this is what Im thinking...
Great idea! Right now, he is in a real state of stress and anxiety and needs you to help him him feel calmed and soothed.
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| Posted 10/1/12 8:45 AM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
I did CIO with both my boys.
the first night is the hardest.
DS1 cried for 1h15m the first night. I remember he was standing in his crib and then suddenly just tipped over because he literally passed out.
The next 2 nights were ALOT less, and then by night 4, nothing!
Stick with it. Remember as you are crying yourself, you are doing this for HIM too. They need their sleep as well. And I am not a fan of any type of co sleeping, but I think setting up a bed in your room might just be opening a whole different can of worms. My BIL and SIL did that with their daughter at one point and she didnt move out until she was 7yo!
GL, stay strong!!!!!
ETA: my 4.5yo is a very well adjusted happy kid (he was also a super smiley happy baby) who has NO memory of me letting him cry like that! Same could be said for my 18m old too!
Message edited 10/1/2012 9:03:36 AM.
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| Posted 10/1/12 9:02 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by bettybcafe
Posted by InShock
Would he fall asleep in your room? Set up a little bed next to yours? I'm thinking he just needs a little TLC right now. CIO just seems too upsetting for both of you!
yes, this is what Im thinking...
Great idea! Right now, he is in a real state of stress and anxiety and needs you to help him him feel calmed and soothed.
i would NOT recommend this! you are creating a whole new monster. it will be another struggle down the line to get him back into his own room.
we did CIO at 6 months (could not communicate AT ALL, obviously by age) and it was all over within 3 nights.
At 2 and change, he can communicate enough to understand that its bedtime. Of course its a delicate situation with everything changing but you have to be firm. Maybe offer something new to comfort him in bed? A shirt of yours? Pick out a new lovey? A night light? (we just got one that shines stars on the ceiling and my 28 mnth old LOVES it).
Lots of luck
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| Posted 10/1/12 10:08 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
Also - you made it through night #1 and THAT is the hardest part. DO NOT give in now! It will get easier and easier!!!
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| Posted 10/1/12 10:10 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need major sleep help re toddler w new baby
Posted by maymama
Also - you made it through night #1 and THAT is the hardest part. DO NOT give in now! It will get easier and easier!!!
I haven't been through it but this is what I was thinking. I think the fact that you made it through the first night, I wouldn't want to go backwards and have to start again down the road.
Your DS is going through a huge adjustment right now so I understand the opinions that this may be too much for him right now. However, I'm sure you're giving him lots of special time and love during the day to help him feel secure..and I'm sure you'll be much better able to do that with a little more rest! Hopefully in a few more days you'll be through it and he will have forgotten it. GL
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| Posted 10/1/12 10:41 AM |
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