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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by babyface10
I dont think you should write a review. IMO you should have had her come over for a lot more than 2 hours interaction for a 2 year old.
Of course she would make strange. I would have made sure your DD was comfortable with her before leaving her for a full day.
You will ghave the same problem with a new nanny if you dont have more interaction and trials 1st.
I left my 4 month DS to day care 3 times before he started full time this week. I made sure he was being looked after and wasnt crying when i had someone to pick him up and check on him if there was a problem. He doesnt even make strange yet.
Ita with this.
My ds is also 2 and would have a complete attack if I left him with a stranger. Couldn't she have come on a weekend or a few week nights? Isn't there usually a transition for new nanny?
you should have prepared your LO better for this huge transition, but your blaming the nanny for leaving.
And no, my ds has never ever cried all day long.
Message edited 8/21/2012 2:46:24 PM.
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Posted 8/21/12 2:44 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I'd be super annoyed, but I wouldn't write a review. I'm too much of a chicken... Also I wouldn't want to potentially ruin her livelihood.
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| Posted 8/21/12 2:54 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by babyface10
I dont think you should write a review. IMO you should have had her come over for a lot more than 2 hours interaction for a 2 year old.
Of course she would make strange. I would have made sure your DD was comfortable with her before leaving her for a full day.
You will ghave the same problem with a new nanny if you dont have more interaction and trials 1st.
I left my 4 month DS to day care 3 times before he started full time this week. I made sure he was being looked after and wasnt crying when i had someone to pick him up and check on him if there was a problem. He doesnt even make strange yet.
Ita with this.
My ds is also 2 and would have a complete attack if I left him with a stranger. Couldn't she have come on a weekend or a few week nights? Isn't there usually a transition for new nanny?
you should have prepared your LO better for this huge transition, but your blaming the nanny for leaving.
And no, my ds has never ever cried all day long.
Well, I guess you're just a better mom than me.
She is a NANNY. That is her job.
Would I like the luxury of having an extensive trial period to make sure that my child has the smoothest transition? Absolutely. But not everyone can afford that financially or time-wise with their job.
My mom went over there so she wasn't left hanging by herself, but, yes, I expected her to try to calm my child. That is what she is getting paid for. That is what she said she had experience with.
I specifically said to her "You know she will cry, right? She is 2. She will have separation anxiety". She said yes, I will sing and play and distract her, but when DD actually started crying, she froze.
I transitioned my older DS to a babysitter and to daycare, and both times the caretaker took him when he cried and soothed him and distracted him. Did he cry on and off for the next few days? Of course. They are toddlers. That's what they do.
My point is she didn't even try. She called me at 9:30. an hour and a half into the day. And again at 12, and 2, and 4. WITH my mom there for most of the day.
How can you call yourself an EXPERIENCED nanny and not even try?
It is hard enough being a FTWM, but when you look for childcare, you expect to be able to trust that the person you are leaving your child with knows how to handle children.
If this was any other job, would it be professional to quit after the first day????
And, not even wait for me to get home, but send her off with my mom?
doesn't sound to me like she represented herself very fairly.
Maybe I do need to have a better transition for my next nanny, but, seriously, you see nothing wron with what she did??
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| Posted 8/21/12 3:01 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
She couldn't have given it, I don't know, maybe TWO days before deciding that she couldn't handle this particular 2 yr old? Kids cry in new situations sometimes. Sometimes they cry a lot. She refused to even TRY to be alone with the baby before quitting. For people who are claiming the OP should have spend several days with the nanny first, how is a nanny all that different from daycare? Sometimes you drop an upset, even hysterical toddler to daycare. They don't make you send your mom over on those days. I know it's different because there are more hands to help at a daycare, but this nanny is supposed to be a professional, and she didn't even make it through the first day.
With that said, I'd WANT to write a review, since she wasted your time and seemed to not be properly equipped to care for the age group she is advertising, but I wouldn't write a negative review. She knows where you live, and she didn't do anything negligent or dangerous. I wouldn't risk ruining her livelihood over it. But I'd be pissed, and I think the OP has good reason to be upset. I'm surprised so many people think what the nanny did was reasonable.
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| Posted 8/21/12 3:03 PM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I'm sorry this happened to you- she seems very unprofessional and like she did misrepresent herself.
that all said, I really agree with the poster that said that I'd fear retalliation and wouldnt post. Stinks that things are like that but you just never know.
Good luck and I hope you find someone really wonderful to care for your dc 
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| Posted 8/21/12 3:13 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by jambalady
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by babyface10
I dont think you should write a review. IMO you should have had her come over for a lot more than 2 hours interaction for a 2 year old.
Of course she would make strange. I would have made sure your DD was comfortable with her before leaving her for a full day.
You will ghave the same problem with a new nanny if you dont have more interaction and trials 1st.
I left my 4 month DS to day care 3 times before he started full time this week. I made sure he was being looked after and wasnt crying when i had someone to pick him up and check on him if there was a problem. He doesnt even make strange yet.
Ita with this.
My ds is also 2 and would have a complete attack if I left him with a stranger. Couldn't she have come on a weekend or a few week nights? Isn't there usually a transition for new nanny?
you should have prepared your LO better for this huge transition, but your blaming the nanny for leaving.
And no, my ds has never ever cried all day long.
Well, I guess you're just a better mom than me.
She is a NANNY. That is her job.
Would I like the luxury of having an extensive trial period to make sure that my child has the smoothest transition? Absolutely. But not everyone can afford that financially or time-wise with their job.
My mom went over there so she wasn't left hanging by herself, but, yes, I expected her to try to calm my child. That is what she is getting paid for. That is what she said she had experience with.
I specifically said to her "You know she will cry, right? She is 2. She will have separation anxiety". She said yes, I will sing and play and distract her, but when DD actually started crying, she froze.
I transitioned my older DS to a babysitter and to daycare, and both times the caretaker took him when he cried and soothed him and distracted him. Did he cry on and off for the next few days? Of course. They are toddlers. That's what they do.
My point is she didn't even try. She called me at 9:30. an hour and a half into the day. And again at 12, and 2, and 4. WITH my mom there for most of the day.
How can you call yourself an EXPERIENCED nanny and not even try?
It is hard enough being a FTWM, but when you look for childcare, you expect to be able to trust that the person you are leaving your child with knows how to handle children.
If this was any other job, would it be professional to quit after the first day????
And, not even wait for me to get home, but send her off with my mom?
doesn't sound to me like she represented herself very fairly.
Maybe I do need to have a better transition for my next nanny, but, seriously, you see nothing wron with what she did??
better mom, I didn't mean anything like that!
I know people who have hired nannies and had them come days even weeks before to make it easier for the child. I don't have experience with a nanny, and I would be upset if I were you , of course. But she was honest with you, and couldn't or wouldn't handle the situation.
I understand she is a nanny , but it's not like she is pushing paper work. She is handling a baby, your baby that was very unhappy. She felt what she felt and couldn't handle it. I think she was right to call your mom to make baby happy.
I guess we just don't agree and I think you are going to have this problem with any nanny, because you are not giving nanny or baby a fair transition period.
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| Posted 8/21/12 3:13 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by Pomegranate5
She couldn't have given it, I don't know, maybe TWO days before deciding that she couldn't handle this particular 2 yr old? Kids cry in new situations sometimes. Sometimes they cry a lot. She refused to even TRY to be alone with the baby before quitting. For people who are claiming the OP should have spend several days with the nanny first, how is a nanny all that different from daycare? Sometimes you drop an upset, even hysterical toddler to daycare. They don't make you send your mom over on those days. I know it's different because there are more hands to help at a daycare, but this nanny is supposed to be a professional, and she didn't even make it through the first day.
With that said, I'd WANT to write a review, since she wasted your time and seemed to not be properly equipped to care for the age group she is advertising, but I wouldn't write a negative review. She knows where you live, and she didn't do anything negligent or dangerous. I wouldn't risk ruining her livelihood over it. But I'd be pissed, and I think the OP has good reason to be upset. I'm surprised so many people think what the nanny did was reasonable.
I agree with this.
Yes, she didn't' have the luxury of a longer transition period, but sometimes with a 2 year old, no matter how long the transition is, they get upset when mommy leaves.
DD has been at daycare since 8 weeks old and she is now 2 and STILL cries and clings to me each morning at drop off.
So no amount of transition time would help in a situation like that.
However, I expect that the PROFESSIONALS at my daycare (and a professional that this nanny was claiming to be) would not only expect it, but know how to deal with it without falling to pieces.
Many of the teachers at my DD's daycare have way less experience than this woman has and they somehow handle it- and they handle a ROOM full of it to boot.
Bottom line- she was wrong and not very professional.
But I agree with others- I wouldn't bother with the review- I'd just move on.
Sorry this happened to you- i know it must suckkk!
Message edited 8/21/2012 3:27:58 PM.
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| Posted 8/21/12 3:27 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I wouldn't write a review.
I think she did what she could. Some children can't be consoled or snapped out of their fit/breakdown.
My DS will be 2 in a few weeks and when he goes into those breakdowns about me not being there - he won't stop until I come back home. He will cry and cry and cry until he makes himself vomit and that is with my mom or DH watching him.
It didn't work out - she was honest the entire time. I don't think it justifies a review especially after one day.
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| Posted 8/21/12 3:33 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
I would definitely write a review.
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| Posted 8/21/12 4:28 PM |
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ISpoilHim
I think I got this
Member since 11/10 1523 total posts
Name:
K
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Would you post a review on Care.com
I don't think you should write a review. It is possible that she thought she could handle a crying 2 year old, but that your child was not what she expected. Remember each child will react differently. Some may only cry for a few minutes, some may cry for all day. You have no way of gauging what will happen. If your child is prone to seperation problems, maybe that should have been discussed prior to your leaving.
The nanny tried. You verified her references. She actually never deceived you. I am sure that she absolutely thought she would be able to handle the situation. She was honest that your child was too much for her. I am sure that in the future, she will be more selective about the children she agrees to care for.
Writing a review of her is not going to change how you feel about the situation and will limit her job prospects.
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| Posted 8/21/12 4:30 PM |
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stellabella
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/10 805 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
Posted by smooney
I would definitely write something. Be objective and just state exactly what happened like what you put in your post. It doesn't have to be mean, just truthful. It's only fair for other parents with young children to be aware of the situation and you're right, maybe she would be much better with older kids. Toddlers cry- case closed. If she can't handle that age and that is the job she chose to go into, then it has to be noted somewhere. It's the right thing for you to do to alert future employers. Quitting after one day is putting you at a major inconvenience now- who is to say she won't do it again?? Good for you.
exactly
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:17 PM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
write a review!
this is children we're talking about...if you were getting an operation and there were reviews on the DR. doing it wouldn't you want the truth?
if i were hiring a nanny i would want to know EVERYTHING...if i could.
now if she tried everything she could to comfort your DD-singing, playing, etc. then i would have more sympathy. but if she froze and panicked-no. wrong. she should, with her 'experience' not panic.
i wouldn't write anything mean-just the truth..
OR
if you do fear the retaliation thing then just tell anyone who might call for references the truth.
she shouldn't get mad at your review though if it's the truth. she showed you nothing positive to talk about-she earned that negative review. sounds like she needs to find a new career or work ONLY with older children!
sorry this happened-sounds awful!
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| Posted 8/21/12 9:34 PM |
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Re: Would you post a review on Care.com
You presented some very good reasons to write a review. There are certainly other parents who will want to see reviews. Just state the facts. Don't use adjectives, like irresponsible or inexperienced. Let the reader make that determination. Just to give a bit of a different spin on it, I think it is best that she called you when she was not able to handle the situation. I would not want my child to endure a full day with someone who didn't know how to pacify the child.
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| Posted 8/21/12 10:37 PM |
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