OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

I have been looking for a new job and also want to TTC very soon, by the end of summer.....So here's the problem.....

On Mother's Day we were at MIL's house with her friends and they were all talking about how they want to all go on vacation with their kids and grandkids (me, DH, SIL and her son and the other couple's kids and son) so they can watch the babies and the kids can have a nice vacation. They were talking about it happening in the future. I brushed it off thinking, I don't have any kids yet, so this won't be for a while.

WELLLLLL, we come to their house 2 weeks ago and the same couple is there and they TELL us that the vacation is in January For 11 DAYS and we have 2 days to decide if we want to go (FIL is paying)......

UMMMMM, hello? I have a personal life and things planned, and a vacation really doesn't fit into my plan for January, and thanks for the notice....mind you I love my IL's but not enough to spend 11 days of my vacation watching them dote over their first grandchild like he is the Savior! And I really can't stand SIL at all....

So, DH says we have to think about it, they tell us we can take the insurance and if we have to cancel we can.....
So, it's booked and I really don't want to go and waste my vacation time on this, especially because we will be TTC and maybe even PG by that time, and I may have a new job, and don't want to use up all my vacation time. SIL says, well, if you have to go out on PG disability, you can't get fired......well, dear, what about the days of just feeling like crap and not wanting to go to work? I would have about 3 days until June!!!!

HEEEEELLLLLLPPPP!!!!!! I need advice, I feel like I am being put up against a wall!!!!

Message edited 7/24/2006 11:26:44 AM.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

My honest opinion is this:

If you don't want to go and spend 11 days with your ILs then don't. You'll most likely be unhappy and will end up resenting them because they took up 11 days of your vacation. If you are pg by that time, you may not even feel well enough to go.

If it were me, I would not go.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

If you aren't PG, you still don't want to go, right? So the answer seems clear. Would your DH get angry? Does he want to go?

ETA: If you do start a new job I believe if you are in the first year they can fire you for excessive sick, vacation. Within the first year of my job they can fire you for any reason.

Message edited 7/24/2006 11:32:27 AM.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

They booked for you both before you told them of your decision?

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

it's clear that you don't want to go, so I'm not sure what the issue is. Does DH want to go??

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

It sounds to me like either way you slice it...you don't want to go. Why did they book it so quickly? Sounds like you didn't even get to think about it.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Could you go for just a few days?

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Can you maybe go for half the time? Maybe only 4 or 5 days... instead of 11?

ETA: unless it is a cruise...

Message edited 7/24/2006 11:33:40 AM.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

It seems like you really don't want to go to begin with. I would wait. Spend your vacation days the way you really want to spend them.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

i undersntad how you feel about the il's and the doting over grand kids and using your vacation time

i feel you totally!

it sounds like the pros outweight the cons

the nice part is its a free vacation but that sounds like its the only nice part

dont go

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

When is the last possible date you can tell insurance that you want to cancel and they will cover it? I would wait a few months (if possible) and see if you are PG and/or in a new job. I think the decision will be easier.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

I wouldn't be angry that they're asking you to take a full paid vacation six months in advance.

I understand what you mean about not vacationing with ILs - I feel the same way about mine. It's not my idea of vacation. I think most people on this site would tell you not to plan your life around the possiblity that you might get pregnant. My reason for cancelling would probably be work related (you may not have the vacation time) rather than I might be pregnant.

On the flip side, if you go on vacation - you could arrange to do your own thing except for dinner and consider it your babymoon. You also could get a chance to know your IL's in a different light & actually enjoy them.

If you really don't want to go, then don't. Unless you're going on fertility medication & shots using TTC as an excuse is too obvious of a cop out.

eta. without question, I would upgrade to an outside cabin. If you do get pregnant, you are going to want that balcony with fresh air.

Message edited 7/24/2006 11:40:26 AM.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

11 days is an awfully long time to be on a vacation that you dont even want to go on.

I would certainly not waste my days on that either. But is it too late? Its hard b/c Im sure your DH is looking forward to vacationing with his family, yet his family isnt yours, so its totally different.

If there is any way to blame it on not getting that many days for once, then I would do so. That is the beginning of the year and 11 days would be gone already. Cant you just explain to your DH as much as you would love to go, its just not practical especially since you both are trying to conceive that same year and need to save for any time you will need.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

I wouldn't go. Can you tell them that you're planning on TTC and you would rather save your days off. I don't think it's unreasonable for you to not want to take a vacation that early in the year- especially if you are to have a baby on the way during that same year.

ETS- I recently went on a cruise preggo and their cutoff was 24 weeks. I was 22 at the time.

Message edited 7/24/2006 11:41:24 AM.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

I would have a hard time turning down a free vacation, but I couldnt spend 11 days being miserable either. I wouldn't go.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

I told everyone I will NEVER go on a cruise because I get sea sick. They know better than to mention it to me.

This is only a good excuse if you never intend to go on a cruise.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

do you know the cruise itinerary?? As long as there's not like 5 sea days back to back, you could definitely distance yourselves from them, except for dinner.

A free 11-day cruise - I would have a hard time saying no!

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Re: OK, This is really bugging me and I need advice.

Cruiselines' Policies

Carnival - For safety reasons, any guest entering her third trimester (27 weeks or more) of pregnancy will not be permitted to sail, as their ship infirmaries are only equipped for minor emergencies. Infants must be at least four months old to be eligible to travel.

Celebrity will not accept guests who have entered their third trimester (27th week) of pregnancy by the beginning of, or at any time during, their cruise vacation.

Costa - Less than 6 months requires a note from doctor. More than 6 months are not permitted to sail.

Crystal is unable to accommodate children under six (6) months of age and reserves the right to restrict the number of those under three (3) years of age aboard the ship. Crystal Cruises is unable to accommodate women past their sixth (6th) month of pregnancy.

Disney - Women who have entered their 24th week of pregnancy as of their embarkation date will be refused passage due to safety concerns. Neither a physician's medical statement nor a waiver of liability will be accepted. In addition, Disney Cruise Line cannot be held responsible or liable for any complications relating to pregnancy at any stage. Infants under 12 weeks old will not be allowed to travel aboard Disney Cruise Lline ships.

Holland America - Due to the limited medical facilities on the ships, Holland America will not accept reservations for infants 12 weeks or younger and women who will be more than 24 or more weeks pregnant at the time their cruise with Holland America concludes.

NCL - Pregnancy must be regarded as a medical condition. An expectant mother's application for passage must be accompanied by a medical certificate establishing her due date and fitness to travel, and acceptance is subject to the following conditions:
- NCL will not be responsible or liable for any complications of pregnancy which arise or occur during the cruise.
- NCL will not accept passengers who will have entered their 24th week of pregnancy by the time their travel with NCL concludes.

Princess cannot accept passengers who will have entered the third trimester of pregnancy by the end of the vacation. Children under six months are not permitted to travel.

Royal Caribbean welcomes pregnant guests but will not accept guests who will enter their third trimester (27th week) of pregnancy by the beginning of, or at any time during, their cruise vacation.