Daycare question

Ok so me and DH are in the process of working out who will watch our baby. I wish my mother was home to be able to do it, but she works...

so we were looking into a home family daycare. we actually found that a woman does it on the corner of our block which if she worked out would be perfect because its soo close. but i called the other day and just got a weird vibe. we still have an apt to meet with her but i just dont feel in my heart its going to work out with her. so DH and i were thinking about other options.

he suggested my best friend who is a SAHM to a 19 month old. She just bought a house that is 5 mins away from our house, and i know in my heart that this would be a very good option being as i totally trust her, and she has an DD that is great so i know she would do a good job. But my only problem is i have a severe jealous problem. I mean i would be jelaous of anybody watching my child over me, but i just get soo nervous that my LO is going to want her over me, and that will break my heart. (its not def that she will even be able to watch our LO yet) but im just trying to prepare myself if it does work out how im going to deal with this.

i know i should just relax and i know my baby will love me. These jealous issues are not something i enjoy having and i know its something i need to get over, but someone out there must know how i feel right?? How do you get over this? how do you deal?? A regular daycare provider would see my child only at daycare, this is someone who i will see all the time.

Re: Daycare question

believe me your baby will know who the mommy is.. no matter what. No matter how much fun grandma is, or aunty is or anyone is.. momma is momma.. believe me i know.. Last year, I had my nephew over for a long weekend when his parents went away, and he was about 9 months at that time.. he was so happy, playful, spoiled him rotten.. the minute he heard his mom, he stretched is arms out to her.. there's nothing like a mother and child relationship.

Now if your mom was babysitting your baby, would you have the same thoughts? Grandmas are know to spoil babies more than friends.. especially if she has a little one of her own.

Re: Daycare question

i totally get where you are coming from. I once considered my sister to watch my baby but unfortunately she can't. as you said, i think i'd be jealous/find flaws with anyone watching my kid who isn't ME.

that said, the benefit of having someone you know and trust watching your child should outweigh any jealous feelings.

Re: Daycare question

i will most likely be having a friend watch too when i go back to work - and i feel very similar jealousy issues. but in the end i HAVE to work and she does not, we maintain very different lifestyles. and id rather be with a friend than a stranger.

are you planning to pay your friend if she watches your baby, or is your friend doing it for free?? this is another issue i have. i almost feel obligated to pay - but DH kind of disagrees. we actually had an argument about it last night...

Re: Daycare question

Posted by FlowerWife

i will most likely be having a friend watch too when i go back to work - and i feel very similar jealousy issues. but in the end i HAVE to work and she does not, we maintain very different lifestyles. and id rather be with a friend than a stranger.

are you planning to pay your friend if she watches your baby, or is your friend doing it for free?? this is another issue i have. i almost feel obligated to pay - but DH kind of disagrees. we actually had an argument about it last night...

Re: Daycare question

Posted by FlowerWife

i will most likely be having a friend watch too when i go back to work - and i feel very similar jealousy issues. but in the end i HAVE to work and she does not, we maintain very different lifestyles. and id rather be with a friend than a stranger.

are you planning to pay your friend if she watches your baby, or is your friend doing it for free?? this is another issue i have. i almost feel obligated to pay - but DH kind of disagrees. we actually had an argument about it last night...

Re: Daycare question

Posted by BabyLoveBug143

Posted by FlowerWife

i will most likely be having a friend watch too when i go back to work - and i feel very similar jealousy issues. but in the end i HAVE to work and she does not, we maintain very different lifestyles. and id rather be with a friend than a stranger.

are you planning to pay your friend if she watches your baby, or is your friend doing it for free?? this is another issue i have. i almost feel obligated to pay - but DH kind of disagrees. we actually had an argument about it last night...

I will def be paying her...when we were talking about it yesterday, she said she would feel bad taking money from me, and im like i would have to pay you! i do hope that the amount we can agree on is going to be a lot less than what i would pay a daycare tho! friends discount kinda thing! LOL

i think i will tell her to tell me a number and if she feels bad asking for a lot a gives me a really low number i will just make sure i give a little more than that number so its fair.

this is still all up in the air, but thanks girls for responding..you are totally right and i know my baby will know its mommy and daddy, but i just wish things were different and i didnt have to go back to work! its gonna be hard but its something i gotta do!

Message edited 3/24/2011 11:54:52 AM.