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emilylives
biking
Member since 12/09 2163 total posts
Name:
Emily
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TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
because I have a slightly different question.
When my husband and I got back from our honeymoon in June, I made a list of all the gifts, and divided up the thank you notes. I wrote 75 and gave him 10 to write. I wrote my 75 within a week and sent them out. Subsequently, we got at least another 10 gifts to which I promptly wrote and sent thank you cards.
DH has yet to write his 10 cards.
So my question is, should I have written them? They are all from his side of the family (meaning his family, his friends, or friends of his family), all people I didn't know before the wedding day or had met once, and we had a deal that he would write these cards. I know that it isn't their fault that he is lazy, and they shouldn't have to suffer, but I just CAN'T find it in me to take those last 10 cards.
Am I awful?
Message edited 12/5/2010 12:58:03 AM.
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Posted 12/5/10 12:44 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I wrote all our thank yous. It looks bad for both of you that those last 10 weren't done. So will it would make me mad DH never did them is suck it up and write them
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| Posted 12/5/10 12:53 AM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I think it could reflect poorly on both parties, even though you are completely innocent. Seriously, one night when DH was sitting in front of the TV, Id hand him 10 thank yous and a pen, and the list. If you can do 85, he can do 10.
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| Posted 12/5/10 12:55 AM |
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emilylives
biking
Member since 12/09 2163 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
Posted by eddiesmommy
I think it could reflect poorly on both parties, even though you are completely innocent. Seriously, one night when DH was sitting in front of the TV, Id hand him 10 thank yous and a pen, and the list. If you can do 85, he can do 10.
Yes, unfortunately I have tried this. He tells me he's too tired and will do them later. It's just unfathomable to me. I know that he thinks that I will just eventually give in and do them, but that makes me not want to!
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| Posted 12/5/10 12:59 AM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
Posted by emilylives
Posted by eddiesmommy
I think it could reflect poorly on both parties, even though you are completely innocent. Seriously, one night when DH was sitting in front of the TV, Id hand him 10 thank yous and a pen, and the list. If you can do 85, he can do 10.
Yes, unfortunately I have tried this. He tells me he's too tired and will do them later. It's just unfathomable to me. I know that he thinks that I will just eventually give in and do them, but that makes me not want to!
Can you write notes to the 10 people apologizing for not receiving a TY, telling them to not hold their breath and blaming it on your DH, so at least youve washed your hands of it?
Message edited 12/5/2010 1:03:53 AM.
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| Posted 12/5/10 1:03 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
Posted by emilylives
Posted by eddiesmommy
I think it could reflect poorly on both parties, even though you are completely innocent. Seriously, one night when DH was sitting in front of the TV, Id hand him 10 thank yous and a pen, and the list. If you can do 85, he can do 10.
Yes, unfortunately I have tried this. He tells me he's too tired and will do them later. It's just unfathomable to me. I know that he thinks that I will just eventually give in and do them, but that makes me not want to!
I would just be afraid this would set a precedent for the future. This is a marriage, and he should do his part.
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| Posted 12/5/10 7:43 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I would just do them, I would be reaking out by now LOL I hate sending out stuff like that late.
To me, its not worth the hassle. It takes less energy to write the cards than to fight about them! imo
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| Posted 12/5/10 9:32 AM |
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Dollface
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 935 total posts
Name:
Dollface
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I wrote all of our thank you cards EXCEPT the ones to his father, brother, best man and Grandpa. I literally handed him the cards and a pen and stood over him dictating what to write. I addressed them because his handwriting is scratch and I wanted to make sure they got to the intended recipient.
This holiday season, I made him write ONE card to his lifelong friend that always sends him birthday cards, holiday cards, he makes a calendar every year etc. I felt the card would be silly coming from me, especially since he is also a friend who I have not met too many times. He lives in another state.
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| Posted 12/5/10 9:36 AM |
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MrsS6510
2 girls?!?!?
Member since 9/10 3318 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I wrote out all of our thank yous except for the one to his brother (best man).
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| Posted 12/5/10 9:56 AM |
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KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I would MAKE him do them. Like put them in front of him with a pen and tell him hes not allowed to do anything he wants to until he does his end of the deal.
If he wants to act like a child, you can treat him like one! Its not like they're fun to do, but cmon now.
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| Posted 12/5/10 11:43 AM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
If he can't do all ten in one night, hand him one a night. If he can't get THAT done, smack him over the head.
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| Posted 12/5/10 11:53 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
Do them yourself and sign them with only your name.
Then tell DH that's what you did.
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| Posted 12/5/10 1:24 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
Posted by BJandDan
If he can't do all ten in one night, hand him one a night. If he can't get THAT done, smack him over the head.
i like this idea 
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| Posted 12/5/10 1:38 PM |
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smooney
Hidey Ho!
Member since 2/10 1669 total posts
Name:
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
Posted by Katareen
Posted by emilylives
Posted by eddiesmommy
I think it could reflect poorly on both parties, even though you are completely innocent. Seriously, one night when DH was sitting in front of the TV, Id hand him 10 thank yous and a pen, and the list. If you can do 85, he can do 10.
Yes, unfortunately I have tried this. He tells me he's too tired and will do them later. It's just unfathomable to me. I know that he thinks that I will just eventually give in and do them, but that makes me not want to!
I would just be afraid this would set a precedent for the future. This is a marriage, and he should do his part.
I agree. If this was something that you both agreed upon beforehand like you said, then he is making you both look bad AND not keeping to his word. I would wage a little war until he gets them done. Give him the silent treatment until they are done. It will seriously take 15-20 minutes to complete them. He's taking advantage!!
Good luck
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| Posted 12/5/10 1:43 PM |
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DeniseMarie
<3
Member since 8/07 10682 total posts
Name:
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
Posted by eddiesmommy
I think it could reflect poorly on both parties, even though you are completely innocent. Seriously, one night when DH was sitting in front of the TV, Id hand him 10 thank yous and a pen, and the list. If you can do 85, he can do 10.
agreed!
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| Posted 12/5/10 2:06 PM |
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jerrysgirl
I love my hot dog!!
Member since 6/06 5357 total posts
Name:
E & J
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I wrote all our thank you cards. dh did a lot of the wedding planning so it was the least I could do.
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| Posted 12/5/10 2:15 PM |
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emilylives
biking
Member since 12/09 2163 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
Posted by jerrysgirl
I wrote all our thank you cards. dh did a lot of the wedding planning so it was the least I could do.
DH did basically no wedding planning. He probably put in under 5 hours total, and that includes a three hour long tasting (5 course gourmet meal) which he surely wasn't complaining about! He also wrote none of our engagement party thank yous. (Oh, also, he was unemployed during this time and I had a full-time job.)
Posted byMrsS6510
I wrote out all of our thank yous except for the one to his brother (best man).
See, I feel like this is another issue entirely. If you decided that you were going to write all of the thank yous, then that's great and more power to you. But we didn't make that deal. He agreed to write ten of them. So for me to write them is not only doing something that is generally his responsibility as much as it is mine, it's also letting him go back on his word...and showing him that that's okay. As Katareen said, I feel like it sets a dangerous precedent (which unfortunately gets set all too often when I pick his underwear off the ground or do his dishes...but this seems larger to me).
Message edited 12/5/2010 3:14:37 PM.
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| Posted 12/5/10 3:13 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I would hold the remote or something equally important to him hostage until he writes out the cards. He agreed to do it and he should keep his promise to you. This reflects poorly on the two of you and he should care about that - if not for himself then for you.
I am sure you two spent more time discussing this then the time it would take for him to fill out 10 cards which is the most infuriating part about it.
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| Posted 12/5/10 3:30 PM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I'd just write them all now, send them out, and be done with it. I wouldn't make any comments about how he was supposed to do them, I wouldn't just sign your name. I'd just get them done as if they're not "late" and be done with it. Let him know before you start that you're just gonna whip them out. You'll feel so much better when it's all behind you.
I didn't make DH write any TYs for us. He was happy about that. It's just not worth it. One thing you learn quickly in relationships and especially marriage is to pick your battles. This isn't worth one.
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| Posted 12/5/10 3:31 PM |
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mrsyoungmommy
can't wait to meet Sophia!
Member since 6/10 1441 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: TY cards (Not REALLY beating a dead horse...)
I would just write them out, it's only 10. And in the long run, him not writing out some thank yous won't matter in your lifetime of marriage.
FWIW, DH didn't do any wedding planning or thank you card writing...and I did try to get him to help.
I DO like the idea of just signing your name, that will show him to cross you again!
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| Posted 12/5/10 4:22 PM |
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